The child shrugged. "That's all. The sleeping warrior says when he was in mommy's tummy that Miss Rissa brought pills that were poison for her to take. She said they would make her stronger, but they were supposed to kill the baby and maybe mommy too."
Shade stood up so suddenly that Lorenzo tumbled from his lap, and Kate grabbed to catch him. Hyde and Luca saw the beast emerge in their master, his eyes glowing and his fangs elongated. They heard Kate's soft cries, as she bent her head over her child and whispered, "My baby."
Luca stood and cautiously approached his master. "She's dead now master."
Shade gained control, pulling hard against the beast who wanted to extract revenge. "It is a good thing, because I would have to kill her myself."
75
Kate walked barefoot down the winding path that led to the baby's garden, lush with roses and lavender. She came here often, and she knew Lorenzo came here to play, and talk to the brother he never knew. Lorenzo said the sleeping warrior talked to him, and Kate wondered if it was his imagination. She felt close to this lost child, emotionally connected, but he didn’t appear to her like Madre and Padre. He didn’t speak to her.
She reached the small statue of the angel just as the sun was setting. The moss was growing at its base and she sat on the ground. They never named this baby, and Shade had always called him his sleeping warrior. Since he was a half-breed, they had known his birth was always in question from the beginning. The tears flowed down her cheeks, as she laid her head on the ground. If not for the pills, this baby might have lived. Look at Cory. They both knew so little at the time. She was still mortal, and they’d sought out the advice of Alec and Rissa. Rissa had seemed so helpful, so eager for her to take those pills. But why? Kate sobbed, consumed with guilt. “I’m so sorry, baby. I fought to protect you, and I placed you in harm’s way.”
Shade woke from his death slumber and found the bed empty, the house strangely quiet. He sat up, running his hands through his hair. He felt a sudden rush of sadness and regret wash over him like a blanket of pain, and knew it was Kate’s emotions he felt.
There was a soft tapping on the door and he knew it was Lorenzo. "Come in."
The door opened slowly, and Shade saw the tousled curls and the huge blue eyes, just as Lorenzo pushed through the door and hurled himself onto the bed, curling into his father’s arms. "Daddy, I’m sorry to make Mommy sad, I didn’t mean to make her cry."
Shade held him tight to his chest. "It is not your fault, my little warrior. It was fine that you told her, you spoke the truth, which is what you have been taught. Where is your madre?"
Lorenzo looked up at his father. "She’s with the sleeping warrior."
Shade kissed the top of his head. "I need to go talk to Mommy. Will you please go to Theresa, stay there until we come back, si?"
Lorenzo agreed and scurried off the bed, his bare feet making a slapping sound on the hardwood floors, as he raced back to Theresa. Shade got dressed and walked to the garden, his mind filled. He’d carried this guilt for so long and now he had to confess. With the help of Gi, they’d replaced some of the pills after Kate became so gravely ill. Shade had chosen to let their unborn son die to save his mate, and a day never passed that he didn’t feel the weight of that choice. He knew now his decision didn’t kill their son. Maybe without Rissa’s pills the baby would have lived, although the odds were always against him. They’d never know.
He approached the garden and found her lying next to the angelic grave marker, her heart aching for the bambino she’d lost. Walking up behind her, he sat down on the ground and cuddled her into his arms, stroking her hair, his body a shield to protect her. "I know the pain feels fresh bel, like it just happened. But there is something about our sleeping warrior I never told you. I have carried this guilt since the day he died, and I need to unburden this from my heart, mi amore."
Kate welcomed his embrace as he leaned over her, surrounding her, as if he could somehow block the pain. "We both feel guilt. I look at Cory now, and I think this baby could’ve had a chance. Why would she do it? I don't understand!"
Shade shook his head. "Rissa was just an evil bitch. I have gone over this in my head so many times. I cannot imagine why she would do this. Maybe she was jealous of our happiness. But the bitch is dead now, and to be honest, I am glad. "He held her tightly in his arms and stared at the grave of their child. "There isn’t a night that goes by I do not think of our warrior, so small."
Kate let the grief wash over her, feeling as raw as the day she’d lost the child, almost five years ago now. “That doctor. He brought the first pills. I don't understand how they were poison. Then, later, Rissa brought me extra pills, and I took them. Were they all poison? Or just hers? Did our baby feel pain? I have so many questions in my head, and so many regrets. It’s my fault." Kate sobbed uncontrollably, as he held her tight against his chest.
He rocked her gently in his arms. "We must leave these questions behind, as well as the pain. We must go on, for we have another bambino now who needs us. We will never forget this lost one, mi amore, he lives in our hearts."
Shade felt the tightening in his throat from the pent up emotions. "Kate, please listen to me." He lifted her face to his. “I have my own confessions, my own guilt. I was so confused, so hurt that I had done this to you while you were mortal, and then you became so sick. I feared I would lose you both and I couldn’t bear it. It was killing me inside. The pills were killing you, and I had to make a choice. I switched out the pills. I gave placebos instead of the pills the doctor prescribed for you. I have thought all this time it was my actions that killed our son, but I had to save you." His pain was visible in his face, and his voice was wracked with his emotions, as his tears flowed. "I am so sorry, please understand and forgive."
"Lover, there’s nothing to forgive." She kissed his tear-stained cheeks. "Why was I so blind to her? When I look back on it now, it all seems so intentional. Lorenzo has always said she was bad and I’d correct him, but in his innocence, he saw something she managed to keep hidden from the rest of us. Lorenzo says the baby talks to him. Does he talk to you?"
"No." Shade clenched his eyes shut. "I wish he would. He was only a half-breed, bel, and not fully formed, so I don’t think he dwells in the spirit realm like Madre and Padre. His spirit would not have been strong enough. But somehow our sleeping warrior connected with Lorenzo, though. He found his brother."
Shade reached over and touched the angelic statue. "Rissa had a black heart. I always knew it. She did nothing that was not to advance her own agenda.”
Kate placed her hand over his. "Rissa's heart was always black. I knew her as a mortal, and she was manipulative even then. She looked down on people, and was always jealous of others, hating their success, as if it somehow took away from her own. I leaned on her, when I should have known better. I trusted her, and she’d already shown me her true self. I was foolish, in getting pregnant, and in trusting her. I need your forgiveness."
"You don’t need my forgiveness, bel. This is not your fault.”
Taking her hand, they stood together. His hands encircled her waist, as he pulled her close. "Bel, we both have carried the guilt of his loss too long. No one can hurt him now. If he can speak with Lorenzo, then he resides in some form in the spirit realm, and perhaps Madre takes care of our little one. He knows we love him. You have to believe that, mi amore."