He lifted a dark eyebrow. “Well, Ms. Skeptical, why don’t we just go find out?”
Like a giddy kid on Christmas morning, Teddy sprang from the bed and grabbed the long, cotton robe hanging on the hook behind the bathroom door. Slipping into it, she came back to the bedroom and found Austin sitting on the side of the bed, still naked, and frowning at the garments on the floor.
He glanced up at her. “My clothes are all wet, except for my costume, and I’m afraid those chaps might be a little drafty.”
She laughed, though the thought of all that gorgeous masculinity framed in nothing but leather chaps made her pulse quicken. “But oh so sexy,” she said breathlessly.
“I’d be happy to oblige that fantasy later, darlin’,” he drawled huskily. “But right now, I’d prefer to keep the important parts warm.”
She tightened the sash on her robe, and extended an offer before she lost the nerve. “Maybe you ought to leave a few extra changes of clothes here.”
His gaze held hers for an immeasurable moment, dark and searching. “Maybe,” he said, his tone completely noncommittal.
Not wanting to delve any deeper into that subject at the moment, she rummaged through her dresser drawers, withdrawing a pair of light pink drawstring sweat shorts she wore around the house. Turning, she held them out to Austin. “This should work, for now. I know they look small, but they stretch, and they’re comfortable.”
His expression turned doubtful, but without any other options available, he went ahead and stepped into the snug shorts. Sure enough, the fabric stretched to accommodate his muscular form. The soft pink cotton molded to everything male about him, from his lean hips and tight buttocks, to the masculine bulge between his hard thighs.
“Wow, the color pink really suits you,” she teased.
He propped his hands on his hips and glared. “I’m sure your parents would be thrilled to find out I wear women’s clothing.”
She smothered a giggle. “My lips are sealed.” Grabbing his hand, she tugged him toward the bedroom door. “So, where’s this surprise?”
“In the living room.”
She headed in that direction, but before they reached the end of the short hallway, he stopped her, turning her to face him. Uncertainty flickered in the depth of his eyes, touching a chord deep within her.
“It’s really not much, but it’s something I hope might become a tradition.”
His words puzzled her, but she didn’t have much time to ponder them. He asked her to close her eyes, and once she did, he rested his hands lightly on her shoulders and guided her into the living room. The scent of pine added to her bewilderment.
“Merry Christmas, sweetheart,” he said from behind her, his words warm and heartfelt.
Teddy opened her eyes, and gasped at the sight of the Christmas tree sitting in the corner of the room, crooked and fractured in places, but its spirit not broken. The tree was nothing grand, a misfit among Douglas firs, but the sentiment behind Austin’s gesture transcended grandeur. The lengths he’d gone through to offer her this special gift exceeded anything anyone had ever done for her.
“It’s all yours, to decorate as you please,” he said, pressing a soft kiss against her hair. “And you’re not alone this year. You can share it with me.”
Realizing he must have overheard the conversation she’d had with Jordan about her childhood, her throat tightened and tears burned the back of her eyes.
It’s really not much, but it’s something I hope might become a tradition.
Now his words made sense, the meaning behind his remark teeming with assumptions…and complications. “Tradition” implied something lasting, tied up with commitment, and the future. A custom passed on from year, to year, and shared with loved ones.
Oh, Lord. While she wanted to maintain a casual relationship with Austin, he’d sailed headlong into forbidden territory, making subtle insinuations she was too scared to face.
Feeling suffocated, and unable to think straight, she pasted on a smile, and turned to face him. “This is great,” she said way too brightly. “Let’s decorate it. I’ll make some popcorn and we can string it and put it on the tree.”
She started toward the kitchen, but he caught her arm, stopping her. His gaze flickered over her face, and she desperately tried not to let her fear show.
“This isn’t everything, Teddy.” His tone was so gentle, she wanted to weep.
“It’s certainly enough,” she said, the double meaning escaping on choked laughter.
He hesitated, his own expression momentarily uncertain. Then his gaze cleared, and his fingers slid from her upper arm down to her hand, which he held loosely in his palm. “I know it happened very quickly, but I love you, Teddy.”
Her stomach sank, and she visibly flinched at the words, so sweet, so powerful…so terrifying. She shook her head in denial. “No, please, don’t.”
“Don’t love you?” he asked, surprise etching his features. “It’s too late, because I’m already too far gone. Don’t say the words? I have to, because I want you to know how serious I am about you. About us.”
She pulled her hand from his, her anxiety nearly overwhelming her. “This is too much, too fast…”
The beginnings of a frown appeared on his face, exposing a niggling of concern. “I know you told me that you don’t have time for a relationship right now, but I’d think after the past week, hell, after last night, you’d make time. What we have together is more than just an itch we both need to scratch.”
Her face flushed, yet she couldn’t shake the feeling of being smothered. Of becoming just as accommodating as her sisters-in-law, and her mother. Of eventually losing her own identity. “Why can’t we just have an affair, and enjoy our time together for as long as it lasts?”
He jammed his hands on his hips, his eyes darkening to a fierce shade of green. “So, you want to use me for sex?”
His harsh voice sent a trickle of uneasiness skidding down her spine. She’d obviously provoked him, but admitting the truth behind her fears was far better than leading him astray with false promises. “I enjoy being with you, Austin, but I’ve got a job to think about, and a committed relationship would demand more time than I have to give right now.” Her words sounded selfish to her own ears but, dammit, she cherished her independence, the freedom to come and go as she pleased, without answering to anyone.
Her mental assurance lacked a certain conviction she refused to analyze.
Irritation tightened his jaw. “I’ve got my own business to run, and I’m not demanding anything more from you than you’re willing to give. I was hoping we could meet somewhere in the middle.”
She rubbed her forehead wearily, knowing from experience that it rarely worked out so compatibly. Relationships turned demanding in time, and eventually destructive. She shook her head, feeling torn and confused, but ultimately holding on to the belief that balancing a career and relationship wasn’t for her. “I…can’t,” she whispered achingly.
“Why not?” he persisted.
His direct question stirred up many answers, and a whole lot of resentments she’d kept tucked away for so many years. Turning away, she moved deeper into the living room, away from the vibrant heat of Austin’s body, and attempted to explain her reasons the best she could.