“Okay.” Josie clapped her hands together, startling me. “Enough of the heavy stuff. We should totally go to Muds, I’m starving.”
I had no idea what Muds was, but it sounded better than sitting here, dredging up the past.
So I pasted on the best smile I could muster and said, “Let’s go.”
Muds, it turned out, was a coffee shop. But not just any coffee shop. It was one of those quirky coffee shops with a bookstore attached.
It was my new favorite place.
There was something about a good book and a mug of coffee that settled my soul. Before Mom got sick, I’d always found solace behind the lens of my camera. It had been the one place I truly felt free. Ironic that my freedom came through watching, but there had been nothing I’d loved more than losing myself through the lens. Everything changed once she died though. The love I’d had for photography died right along with her. Instead, I’d spent hours at her bedside reading, escaping to faraway lands while she dipped in and out of consciousness.
“This is amazing,” I said, letting my eyes run over the interior. The store was split-level, with the coffee shop on the ground floor. The entire back wall was floor to ceiling bookshelves, and then there was a mezzanine level that housed even more. Its walls were a mishmash of literary quotes and artwork. A true book lover’s paradise.
“Right?” Josie smiled, far more interested in the display cabinet full of mouthwatering muffins and pastries.
“I think I just found my new hangout,” I said.
“Sybil, the owner, opens late Thursday thru Monday.”
I made a mental note. The library at SU was well equipped and study worthy, but this was... this was something else. For the first time since arriving here, I felt a seed of excitement blossom in my chest.
“Where’s the bathroom?” I asked Josie. She pointed to the spiral staircase. “Take the stairs, then go down the hall to the end, it’s the second door on the left. I’ll order, so what do you want?”
“I’ll take a latte and a muffin, please.”
“Flavor?”
“Surprise me.”
I quickly made my way upstairs, and into the women’s bathroom. It was just as quirky as the shop, littered with ornaments and trinkets paying homage to the literary greats of the past and present. A white rabbit soap dispenser. Golden snitch door handles. It was like an Aladdin’s Cave of bookish treasures; somewhere I could have easily spent hours secreted away. But Josie was waiting, and I was trying not to hide.
After I was done, I washed my hands, and made my way back into the hall. I was so intrigued by the postcards hanging from the wall depicting the story of Moby Dick, that I didn’t see the person heading this way before it was too late.
“Watch it,” a gruff voice said.
“Z- Zach?”
“So it is you,” he snarled the words, his displeasure at seeing me dripping from his pores. “I thought I must have been seeing things last night.”
Heat bloomed in my cheeks as I craned my neck to look at him. He was taller, much taller than my five six. His face was all sharp angles and dark eyes. Eyes that made me want to disappear.
Memories flooded me. Him. Me... Us. Stolen touches and clumsy kisses in the dark.
“Listen,” I swallowed hard, “I just wanted to say how sorry I am. I didn’t know... about Dec—”
“Don’t.” He grabbed my arm and yanked me into an alcove, the venom in his voice stealing the air from my lungs.
“What the—” I was so taken aback by his manhandling of me that the words died in my throat. That and the hostility radiating from him, as I stared up at his icy expression.
He was here.
Zach was here, staring at me with so much anger, I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole.
“I’m truly am sorry, Zach,” I said, needing to fill the heavy silence.
He scoffed. “You shouldn’t have come here, sweet pea.”
God, that name.
It had once been spoken with so much love and adoration. But now he spat it at me like it didn’t deserve his breath.
“I- I didn’t know you would—”
“You think I give a shit about you being here?” His eyes turned even darker, burning with anger. The intensity in his icy glare seared my bones, scorching my soul.
Zachary Messiah hated me. I just didn’t know why.
“I should go,” I rushed out, desperate to get away from him. I couldn’t breathe, not with him looking at me like that.
Like I was a bug he wanted to step on.
He moved aside, letting me past, but he grabbed my wrist roughly at the last second, holding me in place. “If you know what is good for you, Calli,” his teeth ground together, “you’ll stay out of my way.”
We didn’t stay long after that. I thanked Josie for the latte and muffin and made my excuses. I couldn’t sit there, knowing Zach was in the building. He’d been so… so angry.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Josie asked for the third time since we left Muds.
“I’m fine.” I gave her a polite nod. I wasn’t.
I could still feel his fingers digging into my arm as he’d yanked me into the alcove. My Zach, the boy I’d once loved with all my heart, would never have done something so callous.
But he’s not the boy you knew anymore.
Ignoring the little voice, I hitched my bag up my shoulder. “What do you have planned for the rest of the day?”
“I promised I’d go meet Joel later. You should come—”
“Actually, I think I’m going to head back to my dorm and catch up on some reading.”
Josie’s expression fell. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah. But perhaps we can hang out later?”
“I’d like that. See you later then?”
I offered her a small nod, and Josie took off toward Joel’s house while I took the path leading past fraternity row to the dorms. I didn’t expect to see Callum, but the second I did, anger unfurled inside me.
How dare he keep me a secret.
Without thinking, I marched up to him.
“C- Calli?” His eyes grew to saucers. “What are you—”
“Doing here?” I snapped. “I go here remember? Or did it skip your mind?”
“I didn’t… fuck…” He ran a hand down his face, letting out an exasperated sigh. “You’re pissed.”
“Pissed? I’m not pissed, Callum, I’m… ugh! You are so frustrating.” My voice cracked. “I didn’t come here expecting us to be best friends or anything, but you didn’t tell a soul about me. Why?”
He shrugged, but I saw the flash of emotion in his eyes. “Who was I going to tell? It’s not like we’ll be hanging out or anything.”
Even after all this time, I couldn’t believe how clueless Callum was; how oblivious he was to the way his words cut deep.
“Of course not. God forbid we actually had any kind of relationship.”
“Look, Calli,” he released a long, steady breath, his eyes darting around me, “I can’t do this, not right now.”
“You can’t do this?” I jabbed my finger at him. “Try being in my shoes. I get here… after Mom…” The word lodged in my throat. “Only to find out that my brother hasn’t told his teammates about me.”