Then Reed had come along. And the ice around me was beginning to thaw, bit by bit.
“It’s just like that bird, you know?” Reed had said as we’d stood in the woods, staring up at the sky as snow blanketed the ground around us. “Everyone always leaves me.”
I didn’t want to be like everyone else. I didn’t want to leave him.
Call it infatuation or call it love. Call it whatever. But one thing was crystal clear as I got into bed that night: Reed had touched my heart. Whether I intended to do anything about that or not was the million-dollar question.
***
“Go with this one,” I told Jennifer, pointing to one of the mockup designs for a client’s website. “The text is cleaner and easier to read.”
As the marketing manager, Jennifer came to me for approval on campaign designs, and she passed my decisions on to the creative team. A significant amount of my time was devoted to project management. I very rarely created anything myself; I mainly oversaw their work and guided them in the right direction, aka the best direction for our company.
“I’ll let them know,” Jennifer said as she gathered the pages into a folder and held them to her chest. “Are we good to finalize the plans, then?”
“Yes.”
She nodded before turning on her heels and leaving my office.
I leaned back in my chair, clicking the pen in my hand. Once. Twice. Just like every other Wednesday, I’d been swamped with work ever since I’d walked through the door that morning. Yet, I was distracted and unable to concentrate on what I needed to.
A light tap on my office door made me look up. And the reason for my distraction stood in the doorway, too gorgeous for his own good.
“I just wanted to remind you about your meeting at eleven with the marketing analyst,” Reed said, then stepped forward to give me a stack of papers. “And this is last week’s sales report. We’re down a little but not much.” Reed’s voice lacked the warmth from when we’d been at the manor. He was all business now. Professional.
I missed his carefree attitude and laughter.
I skimmed the page and suppressed a sigh. “The Lovelace campaign isn’t producing the results we anticipated. Our return on investment is lower than I’d like it to be.”
“Is there anything you want me to do?” he asked, still in that lifeless tone. God, it cut deep.
There was a lot I wanted him to do—kiss me, let me hold him, hell, just to smile again.
“No, that will be all,” I answered instead.
Taking it as a sign of dismissal, Reed walked away from my desk and approached the door. Like so many other times over the past week and a half, my gut knotted at seeing him leave. I wanted to call out to him, to tell him I was sorry for being so cold. Just as I was racking my brain for something to say, he stopped walking.
“I might be putting in a notice soon,” he quietly said, facing the closed door.
“What kind of notice?”
He looked at me over his shoulder. “To leave. I’m looking for another job.”
“What?” I stood from my desk. “Why?”
Hazel eyes narrowed. “You know why, Daniel. I thought I could do this… work so close to you and pretend like nothing happened between us… but I can’t. It hurts too much.”
Panic rose in my chest, though I concealed it well behind indifference. “If that’s what you feel is best, I won’t stop you.”
“Really?” Reed gritted his teeth as he stepped toward me. “I say I’m leaving and you don’t even care?”
“I do care. You’re the best assistant I’ve ever had, and you’ll be missed.”
He recoiled as if I’d slapped him. I guess I might as well have. My words weren’t what he’d wanted to hear. They weren’t meant to be cruel, but that’s how he’d taken them.
“Well, I’m glad you’ll miss me as your assistant, Mr. Sawyer.” Reed’s chin shook. “I hope the next one you get doesn’t get stranded with you somewhere. They’ll only wind up heartbroken when they see firsthand how amazing you are, just to be torn to shreds when you cast them aside like trash.”
“Reed…” I strode forward.
“Don’t.” He put a hand up. “I know you probably think I’m being ridiculous, but I have to do it for my mental health. Being around you after—”
I took his face in my hands and kissed him.
He grunted against my mouth and pushed against my chest. But then his fingers curled in my shirt, and he tugged me closer, returning the kiss. The world righted once more as I held him in my arms, our lips moving together. I grazed a hand down his back, growling a little as my fingers slipped beneath the bottom of his shirt and touched his soft skin.
“I thought you said we couldn’t do this,” Reed said after tearing from my lips, his chest rising and falling with his panting breaths.
“We really shouldn’t.” I cupped his cheek. My heart dipped when he turned his face and kissed my palm, his big, hazel eyes meeting mine. “But damn if I’m gonna stay away from you. I can’t. I’m too selfish.”
“I don’t want you to stay away.” Reed softly smiled and gripped my waist. “What does this mean?”
“I don’t know.” I truly didn’t. “But I’m done fighting against what I want.”
“And I’m what you want?”
“Yes.” I kissed him lightly on the lips. As happy as I was to be there with him in that instant, I was also terrified. “If anyone at work finds out, my reputation and my job will be on the line.”
“Guess they better not find out, then,” he said, resting his face on my chest and holding me tighter. “We can pretend nothing’s going on while we’re here and then fuck or whatever outside the office.”
“You’d be okay with that? Keeping it secret?”
“It’s not the first time,” Reed responded. “Before I came out, I had a few secret relationships.”
“The last thing I want to do is make you relive that.”
“I can still quit,” he suggested. “Then it wouldn’t be a problem.”
“I don’t want you quitting a good job just for me. Besides, what other job would you find that pays better than this one and offers the same benefits?”
“Not many, sadly.” Reed stood on his tiptoes to nuzzle my neck and then stepped away. “I’ve searched everywhere already. And to be honest, I love my job here and hated even considering leaving. Sure, it can be monotonous at times, but I get to be creative and my ideas count. I feel like I really make a difference here.”
“You do,” I said. “I wasn’t flattering you when I said you’re the best I’ve had.”
The corner of Reed’s mouth twitched. “The best you’ve had, huh?”
“Get out of my office,” I said, crossing my arms. But I couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across my face. “And don’t make any dinner plans for tonight.”
“Oh yeah?” Reed walked backward toward the door, taking slow steps. “Why is that?”
“Be ready by six thirty,” I said.