Better Cree than Dare, though.
Dare would tell Corrado he was a fucking asshole, didn’t deserve Alessio—he wouldn’t be wrong—and then he’d likely refuse to help him, or try to pull information on Les’s possible whereabouts. All the while, he’d make sure Corrado understood every single bit of this was his fault, and again, he wouldn’t be wrong ... but it wouldn’t solve the problem of finding Alessio.
“Corrado?” Cree asked.
“A week,” he said quietly, pacing the length of the office as he spoke, passing rows of books and the large window, and then coming back again. “It’s been a week since he showed up here, and then he left. He won’t pick up calls, doesn’t answer texts ... I just want to make sure he’s good, you know? I know Dare has access to his tracker, but I didn’t think I should call him.”
Cree released a sardonic laugh. “No, I promise you, that would have been a very bad thing to do. For you, not for Les.”
Right.
He didn’t need to be told.
Dare didn’t have children, and as far as Corrado always understood, Alessio filled that place for the man. He protected Alessio far more than anyone realized, and not for one second did Corrado think that his relationship or love for Les would make a difference to Dare at the end of the day.
“I can’t go into the tracker data without alerting Dare,” Cree said, “and I’m going to assume you don’t want me to do that.”
“I just ... I don’t know if he’s okay.”
Because this worried Corrado, not that he had any fucking business worrying about Alessio at all. If the man wanted to fuck off somewhere, then he was due that. If he needed to take time away and figure out this shit, then it wasn’t Corrado’s place to deny him that.
And he wasn’t.
But he didn’t think that was it, either. He figured Alessio was doing this to him because that’s what he did when he couldn’t deal with shit. After all, this wasn’t the first time Alessio had gone off the radar when things caught up to him. Usually, he made sure at least someone knew where he was, or what he was doing, but not all the time. Sometimes, he hid away purposely, made sure no one could find him, if possible, and when he was good and ready, then he would come back.
Only when he was ready.
Corrado didn’t know if this was the same, though. That’s what bothered him the most. That’s where his concern came into play because how in the fuck was he supposed to fix this between them if he didn’t even know whether or not Alessio was going to come back?
“Maybe ...” Cree trailed off.
“What?”
“Alessio always seems one way to everyone else looking at him,” Cree murmured, “but you know in his mind, he’s different. He’s always been that way. There are very few things he holds close, Corrado, but if someone tried to hurt those things, well ...”
“He would slaughter a city for them.”
“Exactly.”
“But someone didn’t hurt me, Cree, I hurt—”
“Him,” Cree interjected. “I figured that much out. And so, what we’re learning now about Alessio, because I don’t think he’s ever had to handle this before, is that when the thing he loves hurts him, well, he does the opposite.”
“What does that mean?”
“He wants to slaughter you.”
Corrado stiffened, coming to a stop in front of the window. The late July sky was cloudy, and dreary. A mix of wetness, and heat had made a fog sit around the tops of the buildings surrounding his. It felt appropriate for his life right now.
Confusing.
Suffocating.
Messy.
Horrible.
“But he can’t hurt things he loves, because he has so few of those, and he knows what it’s like to be hurt by the things that are supposed to love him,” Cree continued on like Corrado was actively conversing back with him. “Go back to his parents, his abandonment ... it’s really not hard to put it together, Corrado.”
“Well, it is for me.”
“Yes, because despite what you may think, and what everyone else likes to say about you and Alessio being shadows—or extensions—of the other, you are both actually very different people. Two people who lived entirely different lives and see things like love and loyalty and bonds in varying ways.”
“So, what you’re trying to tell me is that—”
“He’s staying away because he doesn’t want to hurt you right now, and if he’s too close ... he might do just that. He can’t trust himself, so he needs some time. All you can do is give it to him Corrado.”
“Huh.”
Didn’t that mean this wasn’t done, then?
It wasn’t over?
Corrado thought so because Alessio wasn’t the type to play games. If he was done, and he wanted this to be finished between them, then he would have made that clear. He wouldn’t have disappeared for an entire week like this, he simply would have said.
He just hadn’t come back yet.
Eventually, he would.
Corrado still didn’t like it, though, because it put him on edge. He didn’t know if Alessio was okay—probably not, in some ways—and he couldn’t stand this heavy feeling pressing down on his chest that only seemed to grow day after day.
Cree cleared his throat. “I pulled the aliases I could and did a quick check. Nothing came up on any of the ones he uses, so he must be using one I don’t know about. I know you only want to be assured he’s okay, but I won’t check his tracker. For one, because of Dare, and it’s best he stays out of this until the two of you figure out this ... problem for yourselves. And for two, because Alessio is allowed his privacy, even if I was willing to deal with Dare when I checked the tracker. Which I’m not,” he added in a grunt about Dare, continuing on with, “But allow Alessio his privacy, Corrado.”
“Yeah, okay.”
“You don’t sound like it is.”
Because it wasn’t.
He was fucking breaking apart at the seams.
Corrado wasn’t good at this. He didn’t do this. And if this shit was what heartache was, well, fuck that, he didn’t like it at all. It felt like his entire world had come to a stop, and yet, all he needed to do was look outside the office window to see ... no, in fact, everyone else’s world was still turning.
But his?
His was at a standstill, gone somewhere out there, away from him, and it was all his fault. He had no one to blame for this but himself.
“And,” Cree added, bringing Corrado back to the conversation at hand, “if I understand the situation properly ... the young woman is also still with you, yes?”
“It’s ... not like I have a choice.”
For one, because Ginevra still couldn’t go back to New York. And for two, because if Corrado were being honest, he had unfinished business with her at the end of the day. The feelings he had for Ginevra did not negate or change the way he felt for Alessio. But that worked both ways, too. The thing he had with Les, and the last five years they spent together, didn’t change or negate the situation he found himself in with Ginevra, either.
“Don’t be defensive,” Cree said, “what happens behind your closed doors is not my business, which has always been our stance.”