Taking a deep breath, I go back to my bedroom and open the small drawer that’s part of the nightstand and pull out a pack of matches.
I light one and watch the fire begin to dance in front of my eyes. I begin to count the number of times the flames jump and die, before I light another, then the entire fucking matchbook.
Looking at my bed, I toss the small fire onto the sheets then turn and walk away. I can hear the woosh of the flames as they touch the accelerant and I know I only have mere moments to decide what I want to do.
So I take my time and pace the kitchen.
August wouldn’t have wanted you to lose your mind.
Auggie doesn’t trust me.
August has eyes everywhere.
Auggie doesn’t love me.
August was my friend.
Auggie never did have time for me.
August doesn’t want you to destroy things to cope with your grief.
Auggie didn’t understand me after all.
August is dead.
And now, so am I.
The sirens in the distance begin to wail as the fire engines race toward the scene. But they don’t know that this isn’t a fire they can put out.
Only I can and I’m not entirely sure I want to.
I glance out the window before I continue pacing, feeling the flames getting so close to me now that a bead of sweat rolls down the side of my face.
Fire is a form of purification; it’s a way to save something that can’t be saved by destroying it and letting it rise from the ashes.
I continue my pacing and glance at the doorway that links the hallway and the kitchen. The hotter the room becomes, the faster the flames angrily destroy everything in its path.
Taking a deep breath, I raise my eyes toward the ceiling and smile slightly when I see the fire is catching above my head.
The paint will begin to melt soon, the room I’m in will be reduced to ashes and I’ll let Trent die here.
Just like he should have a long time ago.
Chapter Ten
I yawn and rub my eyes.
I fell asleep on the bus and it’s no wonder. Depending on what route I want to take, it can be anywhere from three to four hours to get to Seattle from Portland.
I glance out the window and smile.
I haven’t gotten very far but I know that I’ll be home sooner rather than later.
I scratch the side of my face before leaning it against the pane again and close my eyes.
The fire was glorious.
It spread to the other apartments and by the time Embry and her fellow firefighters arrived, I was already long gone.
I decided at the last moment that maybe it was a good thing for me to die. After all, Trent was never very good at being his own man, but Robbie has always found his way.
Auggie may have set up “eyes” all over the fucking country for all I know but I realized in the last moment before the flames reached the kitchen, that he did it because he did love me.
He wouldn’t want me to die that way and so I didn’t.
The only way I can honor my brother is to live my life the only way I know how.
I won’t use fire again to make an escape, though. While those people didn’t deserve the ends I’m sure they met, I didn’t know them so it didn’t bother me which says something in itself.
They’ll just be another set of shadows in my dreams when I allow myself to sleep.
Like Atasha, the priest, the hooker, and my brother. The only problem is that one of them isn’t dead like they should be and while most of the others are, I firmly believe that one will come back to me one day.
I shift in my seat slightly and glance to my left when someone sits down next to me. I raise an eyebrow at the young man, smile, nod, then turn my attention back to the world outside.
With all of the empty seats around me, I’m not sure why he felt the need to sit with me, but I guess I shouldn’t mind it.
Any company at this point is considered good company as long as he leaves me the fuck alone.
I rub the bridge of my nose before I close my eyes again, yawning widely.
“Where ya headed?” he asks me.
I open my eyes, sigh and look at him. “The only place this bus is heading—Seattle.”
He nods and turns his eyes away from me. Seems my Grant charm is shining through but that means he’ll leave me alone now.
“Alone?” he inquires.
“No, you’re sitting on my invisible friend,” I snap at him irritably.
He chuckles and shakes his head before he gets up and moves to a different seat.
Thank God, I think as I close my eyes again. I have no intention of falling asleep again since the shadows I’ve been accumulating seem to keep finding me there.
There’s a saying that I’m not fond of. The more the merrier; but they never said what the more was and I seem to keep amassing more of something I never intended to.
Epilogue
I pull the collar of my newly acquired jacket up as I step off the bus. I thanked the bus driver for the lift since I assume this to be a thankless job. He nodded at me and smiled then waited for everyone to climb off before he went to open the carriage where the luggage was stored.
I didn’t bring anything so I had no need to stick around. Reaching into the pocket of my own jacket, I pull out Auggie’s glasses and set them on my face, before slinging it over my shoulder and waltzing down the street.
I’m in a better mood now.
The guy that tried to sit with me, I figured was probably another set of Auggie’s “eyes” directed at me so before we arrived at the terminal, I went to sit with him. He looked a little surprised at first, especially when I took his hand in mine. I think he assumed it to be something more than it was, but how else was I going to be able to cut his wrist with the razor-blades I took from my bathroom without anyone seeing?
I leaned over and rested my head on his shoulder when he tried to cry out for help and quickly swiped the blade against his neck, slicing his jugular right open.
While he gurgled and tried to gasp for air, I turned on some random radio station on my phone to drown out the sounds of his dying.
It would have disturbed the other passengers and that wouldn’t have been fair to them.
I slipped his body under the seat before I made my way off the bus so that he wouldn’t be found before I had the chance to walk away.
I’ll see him again when I close my eyes and go to sleep and that’s okay.
Sometimes it’s good to be haunted by one’s misdeeds because it reminds us that we’re human after all.
I think the best part about letting Trent die in the fire is being able to see Seattle through Auggie’s eyes.
Even if it’s a little fuzzy, distorted, and hurts my head, it looks almost brand new.
And the best starts are the ones that are seen through fresh eyes, I think cheerfully as I continue walking down the street.
About the Author
Yolanda Olson is an award winning and international bestselling author. Born and raised in Bridgeport, CT where she currently resides, she usually spends her time watching her favorite channel, Investigation Discovery. Occasionally, she takes a break to write books and test the limits of her mind. Also an avid horror movie fan, she likes to incorporate dark elements into the majority of her books.