“Are you asking if I named him that because of you?” I cringed when Kacey nodded. “If you would have asked me a few weeks ago, I would have vehemently denied it and acted like it was some weird coincidence, but since we’re being honest—yes. I think I was trying to hold on to part of the life I thought I was going to have.”
Kacey shook her head. “That’s not true.” Before I could fight her on it, she elbowed me playfully in the side. “Be honest. You would have never let us name our son Duke.”
I chuckled. “I just feel like Duke is the kid that beats up other kids at recess.”
Kacey pointed to the dog. “Does he do that?”
“Duke is too lazy to even acknowledge other animals, so no. Plus, he’s a lover. Not a fighter.”
“Our Duke would have been a lover too. Total peacemaker.”
“Is that so?” I asked mockingly.
“Definitely. No question.” Kacey stopped walking and turned to look at me. “Sorry. Is it weird that we’re talking about this?”
I shook my head. “I’m strangely okay with it. It feels nice to talk about. I think it’s good that we’re at this point. It means we’re comfortable being friends.” Was I comfortable being friends though? I shook these thoughts from my head. Of course I was.
We continued to walk in a comfortable silence until we were out of the neighborhood. Kacey’s hand bumped against mine as our bodies instinctively inched closer to each other. I looked down at our hands and thought about how easy it would be to grab hers. It used to be so natural. Touching her was like breathing, and right now, I felt like I was desperate for air.
“Good old Bellman.” Kacey’s voice interrupted my thoughts, and I realized we were standing in front of the entrance to campus. “Want to walk through?”
I tugged on Duke’s leash. “I’m not sure if they allow dogs on campus.”
Kacey scoffed. “You’re Kari Adelberg. There’s a dining hall named after your family. I’m pretty sure you could run across campus naked, and no one would care.”
“Obviously, they wouldn’t.” I winked and nudged her in the side. “But, you’re right. Let’s do it.”
As we walked onto campus, it felt different, yet familiar all at once. I had gone to Bellman a few times over the past few years and it didn’t feel the same. Yet, having Kacey beside me changed that. Now I could see it as the place I loved. My oasis for those three years before it became my personal hell.
“So, do you still talk to any of the girls?” I was happy for Kacey’s question. I didn’t want to think about those dark days after Kacey left. She was back now, and I wanted to focus on the happy times.
“Alicia and I still talk regularly. She lives in New York now and we normally try to get together a few times a year. Sometimes Stacey and Heather meet up with us too. They live in Florida now and they’re actually married. To each other.”
This news caused Kacey to stop walking. “Wait. What? Stacey? As in, the girl who made her way through the whole football team?”
I chuckled. “That’s the one. It didn’t happen until after college. Stacey moved back to Florida and Heather stayed in Pennsylvania, and that’s when they realized the extent of their feelings. Heather moved to Florida six months later and they’ve been together ever since. They even have two kids.”
“Well, shit. Good for them. I never would have pictured them together, but now that I think about it, it makes sense.”
I nodded my head as we started walking again. “It really does. They go well together. It’s just crazy to think that they were around each other so much in college and nothing ever happened, yet a few months after being apart, they just knew.”
“Life’s funny that way. If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be, and it’s going to happen one way or another.”
The weight of her words pushed down on me, but I decided not to think into it. I could tell by the relaxed grin on Kacey’s face that she was being sincere and hadn’t even thought about how that related to us.
This time, as we walked closer, I brushed my finger along the back of her hand. When she didn’t seem to mind this, I hooked my pinky with hers. I watched as she took in a sharp breath, but didn’t make any move to break the connection. Feeling confident and needing more, I slipped my pinky away from hers and took her whole hand instead.
Kacey looked down at our intertwined fingers and back at me but didn’t say anything. As we continued our walk, I gently moved my thumb against hers, reveling in how good it felt. How right it felt. I refused to think about what it meant because I just wanted to enjoy the moment. A moment that felt more charged than anything I had experienced in years.
“So, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?” Kacey asked, finally breaking the silence, but keeping her hand tightly bound with mine.
“Just going to my parents’ house. Thanksgiving is low key for us. Just my parents, sister, and me.”
Kacey nodded her head. “It sounds nice. I always loved your family. Your mom was like the mom I never had.”
“She loved you too. I think it took my whole family a long time to move on from you. They all thought you were pretty wonderful.”
I meant it as a compliment but could tell my words made Kacey sad. She sighed and used the hand that wasn’t holding mine to rub at her forehead. “I was an idiot. I should have reached out to your family. They did so much for me, and I just let them all down. I let all of you down.”
I squeezed her hand. “It was a long time ago. You did what you thought was right.”
“Does that mean you’re not mad at me anymore?”
I looked at our hands, then smiled back at Kacey. “I think it’s pretty obvious I’m not mad at you. Becoming friends again was the best thing to happen to me in a really long time. There’s no need to be stuck in the past. I like where we’re at right now.”
The smile on Kacey’s face was so genuine, it made my heart beat pick up and made me wish she was even closer to me. “I like where we’re at, too,” she breathed out. She held my hand even tighter and let out a contented sigh. “I really like where we’re at.”
“So, what about you and Bailey? What are you doing for Thanksgiving?” I forced myself to keep the conversation light, worried about where it would go if I said what was actually on my mind.
“We’re just having a small lunch together, then putting up Christmas decorations while we watch Elf. It’s our yearly tradition.”
I pictured Kacey and Bailey inside their house, surrounded by boxes of decorations, while they laughed together and tried to decide the best place to put everything. The thought of it brought a smile to my face. “That’s great. It sounds like a lot of fun.”
“You know, depending on what time you get done with your family, you’re welcome to come join us. I’m sure Bailey would love it. You are her second favorite person.”
I bumped my hip against hers as we made our way back into our neighborhood. “Technically, she said we are her two favorite people. For all you know, I could be first.”
“I changed her poopy diapers. That automatically makes me first.”