I removed the tissue paper, then pulled out a Bellman University Christmas ornament. Kacey took a deep breath and sat back down beside me. “I know it’s strange to give you an ornament in February but I can explain. First off, I can’t lie. The bookstore was selling them for almost nothing because of Christmas being over, and I figured I would just grab it because it was such a steal.” She turned it over to reveal the engraving on the back. “Then a thought came to me. I wanted you to have an ornament to commemorate our first Christmas as a couple. The first Christmas that I was… that I was in love with you.”
My vision blurred, and I realized I was crying as I looked at Kacey. She kissed my cheek, then pulled back to look me in the eye. “I am in love with you, Kari. I’ve been in love with you since that weekend we spent at your parent’s house. I woke up the morning after we first had sex and watched you sleep and couldn’t stop thinking about how lucky I was. Not because of the sex, but because of how safe I felt in your arms after giving myself to you completely. I never thought someone could make me feel that way, and I just knew.”
Without a word, I put my hands on her cheeks and pulled her face to mine, kissing her with more abandon than ever before. I pulled back to wipe the tears from my face. “I love you too, Kacey. I know this is my first time being in love, but I don’t think I’d ever be able to love another person the way I love you.”
“Kari? Are you crying?”
I focused on Bailey who had her head tilted as she stared at me in confusion and wiped at my wet cheeks. “I think it’s just my allergies acting up,” I lied.
Bailey looked like she was considering this, then simply shrugged her shoulders and jumped up. “I’m going to finish hanging these ornaments so we can eat leftovers and watch Elf.”
Bailey quickly put up the rest of the ornaments while Kacey set a blanket on the floor and prepared three plates of food that she placed on top of the blanket. “I forgot to tell you that we have a picnic while we watch Elf. I hope that’s okay.”
“Sounds pretty perfect to me.” And it really was. Watching the movie with Kacey and Bailey was like getting a peak at what my life with Kacey would have been like, but the notion strangely didn’t make me sad, because in a way, I could have that life now.
Just when I thought the night couldn’t get any better, Bailey looked at me with tired eyes and asked if I could tuck her in. After she changed into her pajamas, I met her in her room and pulled back the pink and white striped bedding so she could hop in. I pulled the covers up to her chin, then pushed her hair out of her face and kissed her forehead. To my surprise, she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me into a tight hug. Her yawn gave way to a big smile as she closed her eyes. “Goodnight, Kari. I love you.”
I had to blink back my tears to keep them from falling. “I love you too, Bailey.”
When I came back downstairs, Kacey was standing at the bottom waiting for me. “Everything good?” she asked.
I rested my body against hers and sighed when her strong arms wrapped around my waist. “Everything is perfect.”
Kacey pulled back and pushed a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “Any interest in staying for another movie?”
Of course I was interested, and Kacey knew that. Without waiting for a response, she took my hand and walked me over to the couch. As she scrolled through the movie selections, she hesitantly put one arm over my shoulder. “Is this okay?”
I snuggled close to her and draped one arm across her stomach as I laid my head on her shoulder. “This is more than okay.”
Chapter 9
I blinked my eyes open, confused about where I was. I became even more confused when I felt the body heat from another person beside me. I rubbed my eyes and when I finally got my bearings, I realized I was in Kacey’s family room. Kacey’s arm was still around me and now her head was resting on top of mine. I could see the sun starting to rise through the window, and it took everything in me to pull myself away. Waking up in Kacey’s arms was something I hadn’t experienced in a really long time and it was even better than I remembered. Her grip was strong, but her touch was soft. It made me feel safe while also causing my heart to beat erratically. I tried to make slow, small movements so I didn’t wake Kacey, but it didn’t work. As soon as I broke the connection, her eyes shot open.
She looked around the room and smiled when her eyes landed on me. “It seems we fell asleep.”
I tilted my chin so I could stare up at her, taking in the way her dark eyes somehow appeared even darker first thing in the morning. “It does seem that way, doesn’t it?” My body stiffened when I suddenly became aware of just how close Kacey’s mouth was to mine. I would only have to move a few inches to connect our lips, and in this moment, I couldn’t think of anything I wanted more. I knew I couldn’t, though. Holding hands and cuddling was one thing. Kissing would cross a line I knew I couldn’t cross if I wanted to keep this friendship intact. I moved a few inches, but instead of placing my lips on Kacey’s, I brought them to her cheek and kissed her there instead.
She leaned her forehead against mine and sighed. “I’d be lying if I said waking up next to you wasn’t one of the better things to happen to me lately.”
There it was again. That feeling in the pit of my stomach. The urge to do so much more than just cuddle. I stood from the couch before I ended up doing something we would both regret.
Kacey hopped up beside me and grabbed my hand. “I’m sorry. Was that the wrong thing to say?”
I placed my other hand on her cheek, then slowly shook my head. “Quite the opposite. It was exactly the right thing to say. I would say you make me feel things I’ve never felt before, but we both know that’s not true. You’re just the only person who could ever make me feel them.” I groaned and laid my head in the crook of her neck. “Why is it so hard to be your friend? To figure out just where friendship ends and something else begins?”
Kacey pulled me closer and kissed my temple. “Maybe it’s so hard because we’re not meant to be friends.”
I shook my head. “Don’t say that. Please don’t go there. I can’t, Kacey. I just can’t. Could we please just stay where we’re at? I like where we’re at.” I knew I was contradicting myself, but I couldn’t help it. My mind and heart felt like they were playing tug-of-war within my body.
“Of course, Kari. I like where we’re at too. Never in my wildest dreams did I think you would ever talk to me again. I’m so happy with anything you’re willing to give me.”
I tapped my finger against her chin and gave her a flirtatious grin. “Well, in a little while, I’d like to give you some pumpkin pie, but that’s not going to happen if I don’t get home to bake it.”
“Fine. I guess I’ll let you go.” Kacey slowly pulled her hand away from mine, letting her touch linger before she completely dropped her hand to her side. “Are you going to be okay getting home? I heard the driveway can be quite dangerous at this time.”
I sighed dramatically. “I think I can make it.”