There were a hundred reasons why he was bad for me.
But all those reasons became insignificant when I realized he didn’t want to hurt me. At first, I was skeptical. I was waiting for Maddox to do what he was best at – break hearts.
But he didn’t.
Weeks went by.
Two months passed.
I realized Maddox Coulter was a little bit ruined, a little bit messy, a little bit broken -- a beautiful disaster.
Like me.
All those reasons were no longer important, because every morning, he’d wait outside my grandparents’ home, he’d hand me a muffin and follow my bus to school. Every afternoon, he’d sit with me and study – something he hasn’t done in years. He hated studying, he hated opening a textbook, but he did it anyway. Because of a dare, because of me – he did it for me.
It was silly, it was something so little, yet…
I couldn’t let go of my friend.
He was annoying but hilarious. He was the world’s biggest asshole – a douchebag by definition. In fact, he’d take that trophy home. Asshole of the decade.
He angered me, made me want to scream in frustration, he drove me utterly crazy, but as much as he had me sighing in exasperation and rolling my eyes… he made me smile.
Maddox was out of his mind: too careless, too reckless, too foolish.
But he was the chaos to the perfect world I had built around me – a world where I kept my heart carefully guarded.
Miss Perfectionist, he liked to say.
Hmph. Maddox made my world a little bit less… perfect.
21
Lila
As I came awake again, for the fifth time this night, I realized it wasn’t night anymore. The heavy curtains were still drawn, but I could see the sunlight through the slits.
My hands landed on a wall of muscle, warm and strong. I could feel his heart beating under my palm. My gaze slid up his chest, neck, squared jaw and finally, his eyes.
I realized two things.
One – I spent the night with Maddox, and I slept for over twelve hours, and he had slept even more.
Two – Maddox was awake, and he was staring down at me with an unreadable expression.
“Hi?” I mumbled.
Shit, shit. Shit!
I meant to leave in the middle of the night, after making sure Maddox was alright.
But I must have passed out and now…
This wasn’t my first time sleeping next to a man. Well, my ex-boyfriend and I shared a bed a few times. But he was a boy. A lanky, inexperienced boy. Maddox was not a boy.
I wasn’t shy or inexperienced, per say.
But I wasn’t sure I liked the way Maddox was staring at me. The expression on his face made my stomach flip and clench. A shiver racked through my body; except, I wasn’t cold. In fact, I was very, very warm. Maddox was a human heater.
His eyes were dark and intense, no longer dull or bloodshot.
“Stop looking at me like that,” I grumbled, pushing away from his body. The sight of his dirty blond, disheveled hair, eyes glinting with something unspoken, full lips slightly parted, wide and strong shoulders – there was a masculine aura around him. He made me feel small and… feminine.
“What are you doing here?” he finally spoke.
I sat up, chewing on my bottom lip. “You don’t remember…”
Maddox rubbed a hand over his face and rolled over onto his back. “I do. But, I mean, in my bed. Not that I mind, but I just didn’t expect it when I woke up. Nice surprise there, Sweet Cheeks.”
Ah, so he was back to the normal Maddox.
“I fell asleep,” I admitted. I didn’t know how to make this not awkward. “But I should probably leave now.”
I got off the bed, but the sound of my name from his rough, sleepy voice made me pause. “Lila.”
“Yes?”
I glanced back at him. Maddox was on his side, facing me and propped up on one elbow, \casual and at ease. There were so many differences between the two Maddoxs I had seen in the last twenty hours.
“Thank you,” he said. There was something akin to affection in his voice. My chest tightened with an unfamiliar emotion. My mouth opened, but I never got a chance to tell him it was okay.
A knock sounded on the door, and Mr. Hokinson’s voice came through. “Your parents are asking you to come down for breakfast.”
There was a flash of annoyance and twisted fury on Maddox’s face. “You can tell them to fuck off, thanks.”
“Good morning to you, too,” Mr. Hokinson said before his steps faded away.
“Maddox–” I started.
“No, Lila,” he growled.
He climbed off the bed and went into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. I flinched at that and stood where I was, waiting for him to calm down.
Ten minutes later, he was standing in front of me again. Arms crossed, he leveled me with a warning. “Stay out of this.”
“What happened yesterday?” I shot back.
He surprised me by answering. “Bad day.”
I took a step forward, reaching out to him. “Maddox…”
In a moment of renewed anger, his chest vibrated with another threatening growl. His jaw clenched, and I wondered how it didn’t crack under the pressure. “I called my father to tell him about my final marks.”
Oh no. No, I didn’t like where this was going.
“He hung up on me because he was too busy. When he came home, I mustered up the courage and told him. You know what he said?”
I shook my head. I’m sorry.
His lips curled up into a snarl as he mimicked his father’s voice. “Who did you bribe for those marks, Maddox?”
Hot, nasty fury coursed through my body. For Maddox. He continued, spitting out the words like they burnt him from the inside.
“He doesn’t believe in me. Father dearest probably thinks I fucked my way through my teachers to pass my exams. So, you see? Lila, it doesn’t matter. If I get into Harvard on my own or if I passed my semester. None of this fucking matter!”
My heartbeat pounded in my chest. “Yes, it does.”
“No,” he hissed.
I stalked over to where he was standing and cupped his cheeks. “Look at me! It does matter, Maddox.”
He tried to jerk away from me, but I didn’t let go. “I don’t care what your dad says, but you worked your ass off for this. I saw it with my own eyes. You should be proud of yourself. And if you can’t believe it, then let me tell you. I am so proud of you. Got it?”
His lips thinned into a straight line, his eyes going distant. “Lila–”
“I’m proud of you,” I whispered, rubbing my thumb over his clenching jaw, the muscle relaxing under my touch.
His eyes squeezed close. “Fuuuuck,” he muttered under his breath.
I let out a small laugh, hoping it would rub off on Maddox. “Well, Poodle. That’s one way to put it.”
His eyes snapped opened, clear as the sky, and he grasped my hand, pulling me toward the door.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
There was a renewed urgency in his voice when he spoke. “Breakfast. Let’s go.”
Well shit…
“Um, can I brush my teeth first?”