“You don’t have to. I love her, Evan. She needs to be with you. You’re my best friend too, and that’s what you do for your friends.”
“Thank you, McKinley Rae,” he says, his brown eyes holding mine.
The waitress brings our food and the conversation moves from how delicious it is to how much extra stuff we have to take home with us. “Really, Kinley, Mom has gone nuts with the shopping. It’s a good thing we didn’t fly,” he says, taking a drink of his water.
“Yeah,” I giggle. “She’s just doing what grandmas do. She’s excited and she knows you’re doing this on your own.”
“I have you,” he counters.
What do I say to that? Nothing. I ignore it like we do most other topics, which we should discuss but don’t.
“Try this.” I once again change the subject. I scoop up a big bite of my chicken and dumplings and hold it out for him. He doesn’t hesitate to lean in and wrap his lips around my fork.
“So good,” he says after he finishes his bite. “Try this,” he mimics me and offers me a bite of his pot pie.
“Delicious,” I say, covering my mouth with my hand.
“Right?” He grins.
We enjoy the rest of our dinner with easy conversation. It’s always easy between us. “Where to now?” I ask once we are back in the car.
“I thought I would take you to one of my favorite spots.”
“Is that all I get? No hints?” I pout.
“You’re cute,” he says, tapping my nose just like I do with Lexi. “My grandparents own some property not far from their house. It has a huge pond, and every time I visit, Gramps and I spend a lot of time there. When I came to visit a few months back, Dad came with us. It was good to spend time just the guys. It’s always been my favorite spot, and I want to share it with you,” he says sheepishly.
“I can’t wait to see it,” I tell him. I really can’t. Anything that’s important to him and makes his eyes light up like that, I’m in.
Chapter 39
Evan
I thought I would be nervous, but I’m not. I know this is the right thing to do. Her parents think the same thing. Hell, even Aaron agrees with me. This whole situation is surreal.
“Is this it?” she asks as I park in front of the old red barn.
“This is it.” I hop out and open the cargo area where I snuck a couple of blankets.
“Where did those come from?” she questions me.
“I put them in there earlier. I was banking on you saying yes to getting out of the house.”
“You calling me a sure thing?” she teases.
I close the hatch on the Durango and throw my arm around her shoulders, pulling her close and kissing the top of her head. “Never, baby. I was just hopeful you would spend the evening with me.”
“Let’s see this pond,” she says. She’s trying not to get too close; I recognize the signs. I fought it just as hard, but I don’t want to anymore. She’s going to be my wife, and while she is, for however long that may be, I want this to be real.
I keep my arm around her as we walk down toward the pond. “Watch your step,” I tell her when we reach a section of uneven land. There is a wall of trees sheltering this side of the pond. It’s great for shade on a hot summer’s day.
“You sure you know where you’re going?” she asks as we walk through the tree line.
“You don’t trust me?”
“No, I do. It’s just…”
“Right there,” I say, motioning with my head. She pulls her eyes from mine and looks in front of us. The huge pond is lit with nothing but the moonlight surrounded by stars.
“Wow,” she breathes. “It’s beautiful.”
“Yeah,” I agree with her, but I’m not looking at the pond. My eyes are glued to her. We reach a shadowed edge and I stop her. “Let me lay these down.” I spread one thick quilt down on the grass and take a seat. I hold my hand out for her and help her with her balance while she takes her place next to me. I throw the other blanket over us and she snuggles in close.
“This is nice,” she says as she takes in our surroundings. “This place is so peaceful.”
“Yeah, even during the day it’s like that. It’s great for fishing. I’ve spent many hot summer days at this pond.”
Turning her head, she looks up at me. “Thank you for sharing it with me.” She shivers, but tries to cover it up.
“Come here.” I throw back the blanket and spread my legs, patting between them. She doesn’t hesitate to climb over and settle against my chest. I cover us back up with the blanket. This time, my arms are wrapped tight around her.
“I did have an ulterior motive for asking you to hang out with me tonight. There are a few things I want to tell you. When we are at my place or even my parents’, it seems like we get sidetracked with Lexi, and I just wanted to spend some time with you so I could get this out.” I feel her stiffen in my arms. I bury my face in her neck and place a gentle kiss against her skin. “It’s not bad. I just want to get all of this out in the open before the wedding.”
I’m glad she’s not facing me. I’m nervous as hell, and I’m sure I would botch the speech I’d planned if I were looking her in the eye. “I need you to know this is a real marriage to me. I will respect you and provide for you. You’ve done so much for me, that I just…I need for you to understand, for me, this is real. It’s not just some arrangement. I want to share each day with you. I want you in my bed at night. I know it’s temporary, and I don’t expect anything more than what you’ve given me, but there will be no one else for me while we’re married. It’s you and me, McKinley. I just need for you to know that. Need you to know where I stand with all of this. Everything happened so fast, and I just…it’s more.”
I don’t say anything else, giving her the time she needs to process what I’ve said. I just hold her in my arms and wait.
“So…” She clears her throat. “So, you want us to be together, as husband and wife, completely until this arrangement is over?” she asks.
No! I want to yell. I want this for as long as you’ll have me. Not just until the risk of losing Lexi is gone. I can hear the hope in her voice and this arrangement is how she wants it, how it has to be. She needs a man who doesn’t have a ready-made family. I know she loves Lexi, but…she deserves better than me. However, I’m a selfish prick when it comes to her and I want it all for as long as she’s my wife. “Yeah,” I say instead.
She’s quiet again, the silence surrounding us. “Okay,” she murmurs. It’s so low I almost miss it.
Excitement runs through me as I realize this is it. She agreed to this. “Hey, can you spin this way?” I ask her.
She moves down and then turns to face me. She’s too far away, but I needed to see her face. I grab each leg and pull her to me; her laughter echoes throughout the night sky. I don’t stop until I have her in my lap, her legs locked around my waist.
I cradle her face in my hands and bring her lips to mine. I kiss her with all the excitement coursing through my veins, with all the hope for what we could be in my heart. I kiss her, showing her what she means to me. I keep my lips soft against hers, taking my time tasting her. Her hands comb through my hair as she holds my mouth to hers.