“Evan—”
“Please, let me say this.” He reaches for my other hand and smiles. “You’re still wearing your ring.”
“I just…forgot it was there really. I need to give it back, I know—”
“Shhh.” He places his finger to my lips. “I told you I needed you, and that was the truth. However, a wise man brought it to my attention that I didn’t tell you why. I let you leave here without knowing why and, for that, I’m truly sorry.”
He brings my left hand to his lips and kisses my wedding rings. Then those chocolate brown eyes hold me hostage. “I need you, McKinley Rae Chamberlin, because I can’t breathe when you’re not here. I can’t sleep in our bed because the sheets smell like you. I can’t tuck our daughter into her bed at night because you’re not there to do it with me.”
I can’t fight the tears.
“My heart needs you, baby. I love you. With all that I am, I love you, and I not only need you, but I want you. More than anything, I want you.”
“Evan,” I say with a sob.
He reaches behind him and grabs a book. “Take it,” he urges.
I take the book from him and he wipes my tears with his thumbs. I open the book and it’s a picture of me holding Lexi at the hospital. Turning the page, I see pictures of me and Lexi sleeping on his couch, the very one I’m sitting on. The next several pages are the same thing—pictures that I’ve never seen. Pictures of me and Lex and even some selfies of the three of us over the past six months. When I reach the end, it’s the pictures from our day at the meadow. The three of us are smiling and happy. Underneath the picture, it says, we love you. Tears roll down my face as I try to understand what’s happening.
I look up at Evan and he also has tears in his eyes. “Keep going,” he urges me.
I flip the page and there is a picture from our wedding, the three of us. Below this one it simply says, I do. I trace my finger over the picture.
“Keep going,” he says softly.
I turn the page and it’s a picture of Lexi wearing a onesie that says, I love my mommy.
I’m crying so hard I can hardly see the pages. Evan hands me a tissue and I wipe my eyes. I smile at him and he offers me a watery smile in return. The next page is blank except for the words, Open Evan’s envelope.
Looking up, I see he’s holding it out for me. I set the book aside and take it from him. It’s not sealed, so I slip the paperwork out and unfold it. It’s a legal document. At first, I think it’s our annulment papers, but then I keep reading. My hands are shaking as I read the words. I have to read the first paragraph four times before I look up at him.
“What does this mean?”
His hands cradle my cheeks. “What this means is Lexi wants you to be her momma. I want you to be my wife, not just because we had some arrangement, but because I love you with all that I am. I love you. In your hand are adoption papers. All you have to do is sign, and Mr. Fields will file the petition with the court.”
“Evan, I—”
“I love you, McKinley. Lexington loves you. I want our family back. I want you here, home where you belong. I want to raise our daughter together. I want more babies with you. I want every minute of your forever to be linked with mine.”
He loves me.
My heart thunders so fast I feel as though it could beat out of my chest.
Adoption papers.
I let the papers fall into my lap as I raise my hand to my mouth to cover a sob. Evan leans in and wraps his arms around me.
“It’s okay, baby. I’m sorry I let you leave. I should have never let you get close to the damn door. I need you, my heart needs you. Lexi Rae needs you.
After a few minutes of sobbing against his chest, listening to him reassure me that this is what he wants, I pull away. “Evan, this is…permanent. You’re asking me to legally be her mother.”
“Yes. I want that so much. You are her mother, McKinley. You didn’t give birth to her, but you love and nurture her, you care about her. Lexi and I would be honored for you to hold that title. You’re my wife,” he says simply.
I reach for the papers and skim them again before giving him my full attention. “Do you have a pen?” I ask.
His answer is a blinding smile as he leans in and kisses me. “I do,” he whispers. Pulling away, he reaches behind him on the table and grabs a pen. I scrawl my name, McKinley Chamberlin, by the various ‘sign here’ stickers and place the document back in the envelope.
“I love you, too,” I tell him.
To finally say the words to him is…freeing.
He crashes his lips to mine. “Say it again.”
I smile through my tears. “I love you, both of you.”
“I’m so fucking sorry, McKinley. Never, I’m never letting you go.”
“I couldn’t ask for more,” I tell him honestly. Evan and Lexi are all that I want. I want our little family.
Evan stands up and grabs Lex from her seat. He brings her over and sets her on my lap. She grins up at me. “Who’s got you, baby girl?” he asks her. “Does momma got you?” he asks, his voice now thick with emotion.
Lexi studies him, then looks at me. “ Mommom.” She smiles and pulls at my chin.
A strangled laugh escapes my throat as I hold her tight. I’m her momma.
Epilogue
Two years later
Evan
“Daddy,” Lexi yells when I walk through the door. I lean down and catch her as she slams into me.
“Hey, pretty girl, where’s Mommy?” She points into the living room.
I kick off my boots, so my wife doesn’t yell at me for bringing dirt into the house, and head in the direction Lexi’s little finger points. “Hey, baby,” I say when I see her stretched out on the couch. Her legs are propped up on the table. I set Lex down and she runs off to play in the corner. I take a seat next to my wife and rub her very pregnant belly. “How’s my boy?”
“He’s ready to come out.”
I grin. I’ve gotten that same answer every day for the last week. McKinley is exactly seven days overdue to deliver our son. Leaning down, I kiss her swollen belly. “Hey, little man, take it easy on your momma. We’re ready to meet you,” I tell him.
McKinley just smiles and rolls her eyes. This time around, I’ve gotten to experience it all. The cravings, the mood swings, her belly growing. I get to feel her belly against my back and my son kicking from inside her. It’s all overwhelming and amazing, and I can’t wait to do it all over again. McKinley just smiles when I say that. I know she does all the work, but I spoil her. Nightly foot rubs, I hired a housekeeper, and she even hired an assistant at the studio. Her mom keeps Lexi for us and also spoils her rotten.
“Your parents are coming in tomorrow. I’m telling you, he’s waiting for them. They need to be here this time.”
My dad is doing well. He is responding to the new treatments and, although he’s not in full remission, his doctors are hopeful. He’s doing well enough that he and Mom are flying in tomorrow to spend a week with us. They were hoping the little man would be here by now, which is why they scheduled this week. It also happens to be the right timing for Dad’s treatments.