“Thank you,” I whisper, not sure why. It’s not like we’re in a theatre.
Kacen nods and sits next to me on the couch, closer this time. His leg is touching mine. All that separates us is the blanket. I’m wearing a cover-up on over my swimsuit; it’s mesh, so basically nothing, and Kacen still has his board shorts on. I’ve been trying not to think about it or even look at him really. His abs, the six pack, the sexy V . . . yeah, distracting.
About halfway through the movie, Kacen hits pause. He stands and holds his hand out for me. Confused, I place my hand in his and allow him to pull me up. Once I’m standing, he lets go of my hand and picks up the blanket. I watch as he sets the remote on the arm of the couch and then lies down, patting the spot in front of him.
He wants me to lay with him.
I want to. I want to feel him curled up behind me, his arms around me. I stand there, staring at him while I fight the same internal battle, my heart versus my mind.
“I’ll be good. I just want to hold you, Logan.”
How does a girl say no to that? He continues to break down my defenses. Deciding to take the leap, I lie down in front of him, my head resting in the crook of his arm. Once I’m settled, he throws the blanket over both of us. I feel his arm reach over our heads for the remote and he hits play. The movies starts and I try to focus on the screen, until his arm wraps around my waist. I feel his lips press against my temple as he releases a sigh of contentment.
This was a bad idea. His warmth and smell surrounds me. I can’t fall into this, into him. Even as that thought runs through my mind, my body relaxes against him. I’m in trouble.
The next thing I know, I wake with a jolt and see the TV is off, the house is dark, and the storm is still raging outside. I’m warm and so comfortable I don’t ever want to move.
“I could watch you sleep for days.”
Kacen!
Slowly, I turn so we’re facing each other. It’s so dark I can barely see him. How was he watching me? “It’s dark,” I reply.
He chuckles softly. “Now it is, but I could see you when you fell asleep from the glow of the TV. I turned it off so it wouldn’t wake you.”
“You should have woken me. I’m so sorry. I’m sure you have better things to do than let me sleep on you.” I say the words, but make no effort to extract myself from his embrace.
“Never. I missed this, you know.”
What? “Missed what?” I ask confused.
He traces the line of my jaw with his index finger. “This, waking up to you. I missed this in Hawaii. You were gone when I woke up.”
Did he want me to stay? As if he can read my mind, he answers, “Normally, that wouldn’t bother me. I don’t do that often, but when I have, it’s me who’s sneaking out or kicking the other person out of my bed. I didn’t want that with you.” His voice is soft. “I wanted to wake up to you, see your hair a mess from our night together. Hear your voice raspy with sleep.” He places his lips next to my ear. “I wanted to make love to you as the sun came up,” he whispers.
Holy hell!
“I wasn’t sure what to do. I assumed I was making it easier for both of us, avoiding the awkward morning after,” I confess.
“I wanted more of you. I want more of you, Logan. I want all of you. I’ll do whatever it takes for you to see that.”
Leave it to me to fall for a musician. A man who makes a living with lyrics. His words melt my soul.
“It’s a risk.”
He nods. “I won’t hurt you. Ever.” His words are unmistakable.
“I just—” He cuts me off, placing his finger over my lips.
“I’m here, waiting to hand over all of me. I’m just waiting for you to be ready to accept.”
“What happens when you take you back? When you want to give all of you to someone else?” I asked this earlier, but it’s still a question that weighs heavy on my mind.
His hand trails up and down my arm soothingly. “I know that you light a fire inside me like no one before you. I know that you’re the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last before I fall asleep. That’s never faltered. Not once since our night together in Hawaii has that pattern changed. I fought what I feel for you. I can’t do it anymore. I won’t do it anymore,” he says emphatically.
“Kacen, I—”
“Shh, just close your eyes, sweetheart. I know you need to process all of this, and I’m good with that. I just want to hold you. So close your eyes and let me do that, please.”
Giving in, at least for tonight, I relax fully into him and close my eyes. Kacen gently places his hand on my back and runs his fingers back and forth until finally his touch lulls me to sleep.
Chapter 30
Logan
The early morning sun forces me awake. Opening my eyes, I take in my surroundings. I’m in Kacen’s living room. Last night comes rushing back to me. I’m still snuggled on the couch with him. My back is to his front and his face is buried in my neck. I can feel the gentle rise and fall of his chest and each breath as it hits my skin. That’s not all I feel. His groin is nestled against me. I can feel it . . . feel him.
“Morning, beautiful.” His sleepy voice startles me, causing me to jump. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”
“I thought you were still asleep.”
“It’s like my body is so in tune with yours that I knew you were awake and trying to figure out how to slip out of my arms. No way was I missing this again, waking up with you.”
He’s making it so damn difficult to fight my heart. He’s this gorgeous, tattooed, body- made-for-fantasies, rock star who uses his wordsmith ways on me. His words cause a flutter in my belly and my heart to race. Kacen is temptation at its finest, and right now, in this moment, I’m not sure how strong I am to keep him at bay.
My mind continues to tell me to fight like hell to protect myself, protect my heart. My foolish heart is ready to jump head first into the unknown with him.
“What are we doing today, love?” his sleepy voice asks.
Love? There he goes again, one word making me feel like I matter to him. “I . . . I don’t know. I thought the guys were coming back today.”
“Mmmm.” He nuzzles my neck, placing a tender kiss just below my ear. “Not until later tonight. Have you to myself the entire day.” He says this as his hand slips under my bikini cover-up and rests on my bare stomach.
“Oh,” I say, not trusting my voice not to betray me if I say anything more. I remember the last time his large calloused hands were on my bare skin. Even though it was weeks ago, I can still see the entire night in vivid color in my mind. I’ll never forget it.
“Maybe we—” He’s interrupted by the ringing of my cell phone.
Reaching out, I grab it from the table and hold it so I can see the screen, Daniel.
“Let me answer it. I need to remind him that you’re mine,” he grumbles.
Do I do that? It would help to make Daniel realize it’s over. Kacen takes the phone out of my hand and places it to his ear. I guess he’s made my mind up for me.
“Hello?” His voice is raspy and deep. It’s obvious he just woke up.