“I’m impressed.” She grins.
I climb out and jog around to her side to help her. I reach in the back and grab the blankets and cooler. “What can I carry?” she asks.
I start to say I got it, but then I realize that if I give her something, my hand will be free to hold hers. “You can take these if you want.” I hold the blankets out to her. She takes them in one arm, and I immediately lace my fingers through hers. I will always take every chance I get to touch her.
Hands down.
I lead her down to the bank of the pond where a cluster of shade trees are nestled together. “When did you have time to have this mowed?” she questions.
“I got a guy,” I say with a wink. “It’s part of the landscaper’s job. I love coming out here, and keeping the grass cut, there are less ticks and . . . other critters.”
“Nice.”
Bringing our joined hands to my lips, I kiss her knuckles before releasing my hold on her. I take one blanket and spread it out on the ground, followed by the other. “After you, beautiful,” I say, sweeping my arm toward the blankets.
She takes a seat and pulls off her flip-flops, setting them to the side. I set the cooler off to the side as well, and then kick off my own flip-flops and lay down beside her.
“It’s so peaceful,” she says, looking out over the water.
“It is. This has always been my favorite part of the property, even more so now.”
She raises her eyebrows in question. “You, my beautiful Logan Paige. You make everything brighter, better.”
She averts her gaze, trying to hide her blush.
“Come here.” I tap my belly. She hesitates before spinning around and resting her head there. Very carefully, I remove the band that’s holding her hair up and gently comb my fingers through it.
“You can see it, right?” I ask her. I know she has no idea what I’m referring to. That’s all a part of my plan.
“What’s that?” she asks, turning to look over at me.
“Us, here together. Making memories.”
“Kacen.”
“Logan.”
She closes her eyes. I watch the gentle rise and fall of her chest. My fingers continue to combing through her hair; it feels like silk.
My stomach growls, cutting through our silence. Logan’s eyes pop open as she starts to giggle. Yes, giggle, and I want to bottle the sound.
“I’m starving,” I say as she sits up, allowing me to do so as well.
“Show me what you’ve got, Chef Warren.”
Chapter 32
Logan
Kacen pulls items out of the cooler. “Okay, first we have the appetizer, which consists of cheese and crackers,” he says it like he’s a server. “For the main course, we will be having the ever popular peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.” He pulls two of them out of the cooler. “And for dessert, we have fresh fruit.” He grins as he sets a bowl of grapes down on the blanket between us.
“Gourmet,” I tease him.
“Nothing but the best for my girl,” he fires back.
I ignore his comment, at least I try to make him think I do. Inside, my heart is beating like a drum. I busy myself, taking the lids off the containers while Kacen grabs napkins and two bottles of water from the cooler. We both snack on the cheese and crackers. Kacen hands me a PBJ with a wink. I open the bag and take a big bite while looking out over the water. Kacen is quiet, so I turn to find him watching me.
“I like having you here,” he says softly. His hand reaches out and his thumb swipes across the corner of my mouth. My eyes follow his thumb all the way to his lips as he places it in his mouth. “You had just a little,” he pulls his thumb from his mouth and brings it back to mine, back to the same spot, “right here.”
Every touch, every word that comes out of his mouth has me wanting to fall into his arms and never leave. How is this my life? How did I go from the girl who wanted the white picket fence and two-point-five kids to the girl who fears it all? How did that same girl who fears what she once longed for find a guy like Kacen? He’s sexy as hell, attentive, and sweet. This inner battle I have going on is driving me crazy. How much longer will I be able to resist him?
My mind drifts to the call I got about the job in Cincinnati. I had applied there the same time I applied for my job now. The thought of moving back home to be with my family was one that I wrestled with for weeks. I had decided that wherever the work took me was where I would go. Maybe I should take the job just to free myself from this war that my head and my heart seem to be having. Remove myself from the situation.
Just the mere thought of never seeing him again causes my chest to ache. Without realizing it, my hand covers my chest.
“You okay over there?” Kacen asks softly. He reads me so well. I know he can see the emotions written all over my face.
“I’m trying to work it out,” I tell him honestly. “When I learned the truth about Daniel, I made a vow that I would focus on me. Focus on my career and moving forward. I gave up the idea of love and fairy tales. That was my dream. I wanted to be married, have a family. I wanted that life. I was that girl.” I take a break, my eyes seeking his. He sits quietly, watching me, listening intently.
I watch as he throws the food back in the cooler and lays back down on the blanket. He pats his belly, inviting me to once again use him as my pillow. I don’t hesitate. As soon as I’m settled, he runs his fingers through my hair. This gives me cold chills.
“I had a plan. I was going to do me. Logan. I was going to push forward and never let anyone close enough to cause me that kind of pain. You know the funny thing is, when everything finally blew up, I wasn’t even really that upset. I had known for a while. I just didn’t want to deal with it. I had time to grieve the loss of what I thought we shared before I actually called it off.” I stop to collect my thoughts. “I’ve never admitted that. That I knew what he was doing.” I turn my head to look at him. “Then I met you.”
“A day I’ll never forget,” he says softly.
“You came crashing into my world and you changed me. When I left your bed that morning, I knew I would compare every man in my future to my one night with you.” I close my eyes and see it as if it just happened minutes ago. “I was okay with it. I had resolved that I would always have the memory of you. A memory so vivid it would never fade. I was taking you with me wherever this new journey took me.”
“Come here.”
I open my eyes and he motions for me to lie next to him. Without hesitation, I turn so I’m facing him and lie back on the blanket. His arm snakes around me as he pulls me close. “I’ve replayed every fucking minute of that night in my head a thousand times,” he says as his lips find mine.
I allow myself to get lost in his kiss. It’s soft and gentle. His tongue traces the seam of my lips, and I open for him. I hear him moan in the back of his throat as he takes what I’m offering. I stop fighting the pull and just enjoy kissing him.
Breaking the kiss, his ocean blue eyes are locked on mine. He props himself up on his elbow as I lie back on the blanket. Looking up at him, I ask, “How am I supposed to keep fighting this?”