Which was the reason I was still confused as to why I was here.
Halton came around the corner, his phone tucked in between his shoulder and ear. He held a bag in his hand, and smiling, he indicated the kitchen with the tilt of his chin. I followed him, unpacking the bag as he grabbed some plates from the cupboard.
“Great, Aiden. I appreciate it. Wednesday will work fine.”
He hung up and looked at the containers as he sat at the island. “I’m starving.”
“A whole chicken plus all these sides, Halton?”
He grinned and held up a container. “And pie. I love pie.”
We opened the containers and Halton dug in. I tried not to stare at him while he ate. It was almost primal the way he tore into his meal, picking up the drumstick and pulling the meat off with his teeth, dragging fries through ketchup and dunking the bun into his Chalet sauce. His manners were evident, but it was obvious how much he enjoyed his food as well.
He stopped mid-bite and swallowed, frowning at my plate. “I didn’t get the right things?”
“What? No, it’s great.”
He shook his head and pulled my plate closer to him. He added some fries, more chicken, and a roll, then pushed the full plate back toward me. “I told you I need you strong. Healthy. A salad with a little chicken on top isn’t going to cut it, Fee. Eat up.”
I picked up my fork, trying not to roll my eyes as he added even more chicken to my plate and drizzled dressing on the salad. “Better,” he mumbled gruffly and went back to eating.
For a few moments, there was only the sound of chewing and utensils scraping across stoneware. Then he spoke.
“I think I have a place for you to stay.”
“Oh?”
“My friend’s company has a spare unit in the building right behind this one. They share the same parking lot and are connected with a walkway ten floors up, so it’s convenient. BAM uses it for interns and the like on occasion. He thinks it’s available as of Wednesday. Aiden is going to confirm and will send me pictures shortly. It’s a studio, but it works since you can drive to and from the office with me, so you’re safe.” He met my gaze. “You can’t stay here with me, Fee. It would look all sorts of wrong.”
I stared at him, aghast. “I didn’t expect you to let me stay here, Halton. Even a few hours is more than I expected. I was going to make some calls this afternoon and find a hotel.”
He shook his head. “No. You can stay here until Wednesday. Downtown is booked solid for the weekend, and there is no sense in you getting a room for a couple of nights then moving back to the building. You can stay here until then.”
“I don’t want to impose.”
“You’re not imposing.” He slid a key and a pass card toward me. “You’ll need these until then. The pass card is for the building and the elevator, the key is for the condo.”
I accept them silently, feeling overwhelmed at his trust.
He emptied his plate, then took the rest of the chicken and salad and finished off the fries. He held up the last roll. “You want this?”
“Um, no.”
He frowned, looking at my plate. “Eat.”
Obediently, I picked up my fork, startling when he laid his long fingers over mine. “I’m sorry, Fee. I shouldn’t be ordering you to eat. I’m simply worried.”
I patted his hand. “It’s fine. I’m not used to being able to eat freely. Scott had me so obsessed with not eating, I forget it’s okay to want to eat something.”
“It is okay.” He stressed. “Anything you want. Name it and we’ll have it. Maybe pizza later when I get back.”
He was leaving me alone in his home?
“You’re going out?” I confirmed. “I can go wander around while you’re gone.”
He sighed. “No, Fee. Stay. Nap. Read. Relax. I want you to stay put unless you really want to go somewhere.”
“No, an afternoon of reading sounds awesome. Do you, ah, have a date?”
He flicked open the lid on a piece of pecan pie. He met my eyes while chewing and swallowing. “No. Every Saturday, I volunteer my time at a…place. It’s a group of dads who are fighting to get custody of their kids. I’m one of a couple of lawyers who donate their time and advice. I take on a few cases for free as well when time permits.”
“Halton, that’s amazing. Is there anything I can do?”
He finished his pie, closing the lid. “No. Not today, anyway.”
“I had no idea you did that. I didn’t see anything on your schedule or any pending case files,” I mused, thinking of the orderly file room.
“I keep those files in my desk. Rene knows I go there every Saturday, and I don’t like it on my schedule. I do it because it’s something I believe in strongly, not to look good. Part of the deal is I don’t talk about it. I’m just there to help someone get a chance to be with their kids. If I can help fight against the system, then my work is done.”
I could sense his hidden emotion. I slid my hand across the island, slipping my fingers through his. He stared down at our hands, but he didn’t pull away. “I sense a story, but I understand. I think it’s a wonderful thing you do.”
He stared into space for a moment. “People automatically assume the child is best left with the mother. It’s not always the case, and I help men fight for their rights. If I think their kid is better off with them than the mother, I help. Sometimes, it’s advice. Other times they need more. I make sure they get the right attorney, or I take them on—pro bono, usually. At times, all I do is listen as they talk. Sort of like therapy. There are a few other attorneys who do cases like this as well. We keep it on the down low. We’re there to help, not for the glory.”
I squeezed his hand in understanding. The man across from me was so much more than he gave himself credit for. He disarmed me with his quiet words and conviction. Halton looked up, his navy-blue eyes filled with memories of the past.
“I wish my dad had had someone to fight for him,” he said. “Instead I was stuck in a system that believed the lies my mother spouted. That stuck to the belief that the child was best left with their mother—that the father should contribute financially, and have visitation, but not be the governing influence in their life.” He barked out a pain-filled laugh. “I often wonder if I’d be as screwed up if they had allowed my dad to raise me.”
I frowned, confused. “I don’t think you’re screwed up, Halton.”
He looked down at our hands, still clasped on the cold granite. He lifted them, studying the veins on my wrist, gently tracing the faint blue lines. His touch made me shiver.
“I can’t commit to one person,” he stated, his voice low and sad. “I don’t believe in love or marriage, Fee. I’m the guy people call on when love turns to hate, because it’s what I know the best. Hate. I know how to exploit it. Get what I want from people. Pit them against each other and feed the anger. Blow the hell out of the emotions they once embraced and turn them into ash. That’s what I do.”
I was silent, digesting his words. He kept talking.
“My entire adult life is a string of emotionless encounters. A few attempts at relationships based on sex and not feeling. I’ve been very upfront with my partners, although a few of them thought they could change how I felt. But I proved them wrong. I don’t want the trap of marriage. I don’t want kids because I think the world is a messed-up place, and selfishly, I don’t want to bring another person into the craziness. I certainly don’t want a kid who is like me in any fashion.” He sucked in a long breath. “I witnessed the way people use their kids to inflict pain on the person they used to profess to love. I know what it’s like to be the pawn in that game. I would never risk it. Ever. I will never allow myself to count on someone else. To trust any one person and allow them the chance to hurt me. I depend on myself. The one thing I care about the most in the world is me. Nobody else.”