Her voice was quiet in the dark. “What if I am?”
I had no answer to that question. “Please.”
She slid in and I followed. It felt natural to angle toward her and tug her into my arms. Her head fit perfectly under my chin, and her closeness filled my senses with the fragrance of flowers. My body relaxed, the muscles loosening and easing. Fee sighed, snuggling closer. I held her tighter, already feeling sleep tug at my body.
“Thank you,” I mumbled.
She was already out, the low clicking-purring noises starting and making me grin.
They were the last thing I heard. Sleep beckoned and I fell.
Tuesday morning, I was up early, refreshed and prepared for the week ahead. My energy level was high, and I was ready to come out swinging. I grabbed a cup of coffee and waited for Fee in the living room. She came in shortly, looking pretty. She had her hair swept up, and a simple dress swirled around her legs.
“Are you sure I should drive with you? What if Scott…?”
I shook my head, cutting off her words. “He isn’t looking here for you. Besides the windows are tinted in the Mercedes. He wouldn’t be able to see if it was you even if he were looking.”
She picked up her purse, and I headed for the door. Her next words stopped me cold.
“Do you think I’m a whore?”
I spun around, shock making me gape. Fee clutched her purse to her chest, the grip so tight, her knuckles were white.
“Why would you ask me that question?”
“I’m still married, but I’m here with you—in your condo. In your bed. I kissed you.”
I crossed the room and pulled her purse from her grip. I threw it on the sofa and clasped her hands in mine. Bending my head, I kissed her knuckles. “I’m sorry if you feel that way, Fee. That isn’t how I see this at all.”
“How do you see it?”
I tucked the stray wave that always bothered her behind her ear. “I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “I told myself I brought you here because you’re my client and I had to help you. But the truth is, I wanted to bring you here. I wanted to spend a little time with you.”
“Why?”
I gave her honesty because that is what I always asked of her. “Because you make me feel like a better man when you’re around, Fee.”
“Oh.”
“I don’t understand the sleeping thing. All I know is I have slept more the last three nights than I’ve slept in the last six months. Having you next to me is like some sort of sleeping draught. The world fades away, and I can relax.” I slid my arm around her waist. “You aren’t doing anything wrong, Fee. You’re helping me.”
“The kiss?” she whispered.
“It was just that. A kiss. Put it out of your mind. I won’t cross that line again, I promise.”
“How are we going to do this?”
I stepped back, gazing at her. Yesterday, we had spent together, simply doing nothing. She had read and cooked. I had worked and eaten. We had taken advantage of the rainy day and watched a movie, ending up napping on the sofa, entwined around each other once again. I couldn’t remember the last time I napped. I couldn’t recall feeling the way I did waking up beside her. Her drowsy smile had lit something in my chest, and I had brushed a silent kiss of thanks to her head, then slid away regretfully before I did something else.
The truth was, I wanted her. I wanted to lay her on my bed and do much more than sleep with her. I wanted to bury myself inside her—to know how she felt as she orgasmed—to hear her voice calling my name in passion. But even I wasn’t enough of an asshole to do that to her. I wasn’t the man for Fiona. She deserved someone who could fulfill her dreams, marry her, and give her a life filled with love. That was what she wanted and what she deserved.
But I was a big enough asshole to take what she could give me—a few moments of feeling like a better person, and some hours of unguarded rest. But it had to stop, and I had to be the one who stopped it.
“We’re going to be exactly what we have been. You are my client and assistant. Nothing more, Fee,” I said gently. “You know my limits. I’m going to work very hard to get your divorce pushed through fast and get you all you deserve settlement-wise. Then you’re going to go and find your life.”
I saw the hurt flash across her face, but she straightened her shoulders. “And you?”
I shrugged, moving farther away. “I’ll carry on the way I was before. My life is set, Fee. It was set long before I met you.”
“People can change.”
“If they want to.”
She shook her head. “You won’t even try.”
“Because I already know I’ll fail. This is me. It’s who I am.” I sucked in a lungful of air, already feeling the ache my words were going to cause.
“Since you get your place tomorrow, you should stay in your own room tonight, Fee. I think it would be for the best. For both of us.”
“No confusing our worlds, is what you are saying. Redrawing the lines again, Halton?”
I couldn’t tell her I was already confused. And dreading the fact that I was going to go back to the fractured way I had been sleeping again. I had the feeling, without her beside me, rest was going to be even more elusive than before.
“Yes,” I replied.
She picked up her purse and headed to the door. I followed close behind, hating the fact that I had hurt her but knowing there was nothing I could do about it.
Halton
Although I enjoyed long weekends, the one extra day of being closed seemed to bring out a panic in people. The office was crazy all day—phone calls, emails, meetings. I wasn’t due in court until Thursday, and I was grateful to have the extra time to work on my caseload.
More than once, I heard Fee’s gentle voice explaining I wasn’t accepting new clients at the moment and offering people names from a list I had given her. Around one, she entered my office and slid a bag onto the corner of my desk. She turned to leave, halting when I called out to her.
“What about you?”
She turned. “I have a sandwich at my desk.”
I shook my head—she was still hesitant about “overstepping.” I enjoyed our lunches together when I was in the office. They had, in fact, become a highlight of my day.
“Bring it in here and switch the phone to voice mail.”
She carried in her sandwich and sat down, crossing her legs. “Is there a problem?”
I bit into the thick roast beef sandwich she had ordered up from the deli on the corner. I chewed and swallowed before replying.
“No. I wanted to touch base. It’s been a busy day.”
“It has,” she murmured.
“Rene called me. He’s insisting on coming on Friday for a while. He’s been cleared.”
“All right.”
There was silence as we ate. Or rather, I ate. Fee nibbled at her sandwich, barely eating half by the time I was done mine. I balled up the paper, tossing it in the bin.
“Rene returning doesn’t mean anything, Fee. You still have a place here.”
“Have you ever thought of taking on a partner?” she asked. “You’re busy enough to keep two or three people gainfully employed.”