“I don’t understand.”
“I was horrid to all of you. I caused a lot of problems for you, and I was a terrible person. I’ve been getting counseling, going to meetings, trying to get my life back on track. I decided to come back and pick up the last of my things. As soon as I got to town, I knew it was a mistake. I should have listened to my sponsor and my friends. I wasn’t ready. I became that person again.” Her voice wavered. “I’m sorry.”
My anger drained away, but I was skeptical.
She saw my doubt. “You don’t have to believe me. I understand. I did and said some awful things. I’m not proud of myself, and I’m shocked how fast I slipped back into that role yesterday.”
“Why?”
“I was already sliding back. I knew you guys were playing, and I decided to come see you. I meant to approach you all and apologize. Instead, I started wallowing and throwing back shots in the afternoon. When I came to the bar, I saw the way you looked at Liv. I’ve never seen you look that way at anyone—especially me. It made me jealous.”
“We were never anything but friends, Vicky. If we were even that.”
“I know. But in my head, we were. I wanted to be the one to someone. To you—to any one of you,” she admitted. “I’m messed up. It’s too involved to hash out, Van. I called my sponsor this morning, and we talked for a long time. I’m heading back this afternoon and I won’t be returning. Once my head is clear, I’ll write you all my apologies.” She lifted her shoulders. “I don’t think I am strong enough to face you all in person again—at least not for a very long time. I have a lot of issues to work through.”
“I think it’s for the best.”
She glanced over her shoulder. “Liv was kinder than she had to be. I appreciated her listening to me, especially after the way I spoke last night.”
“She is a good person.” I narrowed my eyes in warning, still unsure if I believed her. “Leave Sammy alone.”
“I won’t go near either of them again.”
“Okay.”
“You are very protective of them.”
“I care about them.”
She studied me. “She’s the kind of person you deserve, Van. I hope things work out for you. For what it is worth, I am sorry. You won’t have to worry about me anymore.”
I pursed my lips, then huffed. “Go back up North, Vicky. Fix your life. You leave us alone, we’ll leave you alone.”
She turned and walked away without another word. I watched her walk past Liv, only offering a small wave as she hurried by. I sucked in some much-needed lungfuls of air, calmer than I had been, but I needed to clear my head before I spoke to Liv.
I approached the bench and sat beside Liv. She was stiff and silent. We watched Sammy for a few moments, then I leaned forward, clasping my hands between my knees.
“That was unexpected,” I muttered.
“It certainly was.”
Her voice was unemotional. I glanced over at her. She was sitting ramrod straight, her gaze on Sammy.
“She won’t bother you anymore, Liv. She promised—”
She turned her head, her eyes cool. “Was that necessary?”
“I’m sorry?”
“Dragging the poor woman away, embarrassing her, and making her leave?”
I gaped at her. “What?”
“Granted, I wasn’t happy to see her, but I agreed to listen. She was apologizing, and I believe she was sincere.”
“I didn’t know that at the time.”
“No, and you didn’t bother to ask. You didn’t give me the chance to explain.”
I turned to her, our knees pressing. “She’s a freaking headcase, Liv. All I saw was her talking to you. Once again, I assumed, spreading her lies. She was too close to you. Far too close to Sammy. I had to get her away from both of you.”
“Shouldn’t that be my decision?”
Once again, I gaped at her.
“I saw Vicky coming. She asked me if she could sit and talk to me. Apologize. I could have said no, but I agreed. She never went near Sammy, and if she had tried, I would have stopped her. She had been sitting here for ten minutes before you showed up, and she was getting ready to leave when you dragged her away. Frankly, your reaction startled me. It was a little over the top.”
“Over the top,” I repeated.
“Yes.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Is that right?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t need you to protect me, Van. Who I choose to talk or not talk to is my decision.”
“Not in this case,” I almost snarled.
She stood, anger pouring off of her. “In every case. I’m a smart, capable woman. I can judge someone without your help. I could see she was different and she simply wanted to talk. You didn’t bother to look. You jumped to the conclusion that I wasn’t thinking clearly. That I couldn’t possibly know what I was doing. I’ve already had two men in my life who dictated what I could or could not do. Say or not say. I’m not about to take on a third. I think I may have misjudged you.”
I was on my feet instantly. “No, you haven’t. I’m the guy you thought I was twenty minutes ago. I couldn’t stand her being close to you—spouting her venom. I couldn’t allow it.”
Her gaze became frosty. “You couldn’t allow it?”
I realized I had used the wrong word.
“I didn’t mean it the way it sounded. I meant I couldn’t risk it.”
“No one tells me what to do anymore. I put up with that long enough. You don’t get to allow me anything.” Liv ran a hand through her hair, her gesture filled with frustration. “We rushed into this, and I need to stop it before it goes any further.”
“What are you saying?” I asked, my heart sinking in my chest.
She lifted her eyes to mine. “I was right to begin with. We should be friends, Van. Only friends.”
“Don’t say that. It was the wrong word, Liv. I used the wrong word.”
She shook her head. “My life was governed by wrong words for years. I won’t do it anymore.” She met my pleading gaze. “I’m sorry, Van. I can’t.”
She turned and hurried away, calling for Sammy. I watched them walk away, stunned. More than once, Sammy turned her head, peered at me over her shoulder, and gestured to her mother, but Liv kept hold of her hand and soon they disappeared from my sight.
I sat down on the bench, reviewing the last screwed-up twenty minutes in my head. I had come here hoping to spend the day with them. I hadn’t expected Vicky. I hadn’t planned on Liv seeing my temper. I hadn’t expected her reaction.
I hung my head. I had been worried Vicky would somehow chase Liv away. Make her fearful of me.
I had managed to do it all on my own.
Van
“Vince, what is going on with you?” My mother tapped her fingers, staring at me from across the table. “And don’t tell me nothing, because I’ll know you’re lying.”
Despite my mood, I felt a grin tug on my lips. My mother was one of the few people who called me Vince. And certainly the only person who spoke to me as if I were still a kid.