“You’re making this so much harder than you need to,” Gia tells me. I grab Eva’s glass and take a few mouthfuls of the red wine. Fuck it, I need Dutch courage.
“I also did a test. It was positive. I did several and then I went to the doctor and he confirmed it.” I drain the rest of the red wine and then click my fingers like they do in films. Instead of a refill, I get a stony glare from the waiter. I guess it’s not like it is in the movies.
Both women stare at me with their mouths open. “But . . . erm . . . what?” stutters Anna.
“It was a complete shock. I did the test as a favour to Gia because she didn’t believe they worked. Turns out they do.”
Eva gives Gia an accusing glare. “We work together every day and you didn’t tell me!”
“I know, I’m sorry.” She winces. “It was a huge secret and I didn’t want to be the blabbermouth.”
“Have you told Ryan yet?” asks Anna. It’s a plausible conclusion and one I didn’t think about until now.
“No. I don’t want to. He’s about to start his career and I don’t want to hold him back,” I lie. I feel Gia’s eyes burning into me, but I avoid her glare. I’m not ready to confess the truth—I’m not sure I’ll ever be.
“We’re here for you, sweety, whatever you decide,” says Eva.
“How’s things with you and Riggs?” I ask Anna, changing the subject.
“Okay, I guess. He’s busy with club stuff in Manchester, so I haven’t spoken to him much this week. He still doesn’t really acknowledge the pregnancy. I hope that when the baby is here, he’ll feel happier.”
Anna moved back into the club weeks ago, but things haven’t just gone back to normal. Seems they’re still working on things. She places her hand on her bump and I try to picture myself like that, but it’s hard.
I throw myself into work for the next few weeks. Training is so much harder than the written work I did at University, but I love it.
The ward sister is in her office and I tap on her door. She smiles at me and I step inside and hold out a letter. “I have an appointment in half an hour. Can I nip out for it? I’ll be really quick, I promise.”
She takes the letter and glances at it and smiles widely. “Congratulations,” she says. “Of course, you can. The twelve-week scan is important.” I nod weakly. I didn’t plan on telling anyone. I have a tiny bump, but I can hide it under baggier clothing. She seems so happy but I still feel so numb.
My mum insisted I have the scan before making any decisions and so as I make my way to the scan department, I take deep breaths and prepare myself to see this blob for the first time ever. As I round the corner, I freeze. Mum stands and next to her is Ryan. “What’s going on?” I ask.
“Your mum came to see me,” says Ryan. “She told me everything.”
I glare at my mum and she shrugs. “Anna told me. She’s worried about you doing this alone when you really don’t need to. It’s the scan—he can’t miss it,” she says and my eyes widen further.
Before I have a chance to explain, the door opens and I’m called in. Mum and Ryan follow me and take a seat by the bed. I haul myself up on it and lie down as instructed by the nurse. She squirts my tummy with a cold gel and then a screen beside me flickers to life. A grainy image appears and the nurse begins to point out the heartbeat. The room fills with the sound of the rapid beating and I find myself smiling. Despite me being so unsure, I’m relieved to hear the life inside me.
When it’s all over, the nurse hands me some pictures and we head out of the room. Mum kisses my cheek. “I’ll let you two talk,” she says and smiles.
“Coffee?” Ryan asks and I nod. Costa Coffee sounds like heaven right now.
Once I’m settled into the hospital’s Costa restaurant, I smile at Ryan. “It’s not yours,” I say, deciding that blunt is the best way.
“I know,” he says easily and he takes a sip of his coffee.
“If you know, then why are you here?”
“To help. I figured when your mum told me, you hadn’t told your brother because he would have booted my door down and probably tried to kill me.” I laugh. “I know it’s weird, but I like you, Leia. I always have. I’m happy to pretend this baby is ours. I’ll support you and look after you. I’ll even stand up to your brother.”
I stare open-mouthed in shock. “You’d do that?” I whisper and he nods. He’s saying everything I wanted Chains to say the day he left. “I can’t let you. It’s so sweet and beyond amazing that you’d want to help me like that, but I can’t let you.”
He grabs my hand. “Of course, you can. We’d be great parents. No one would need to know. I’ll give you the world if you let me.” I stare at our joined hands. The offer is crazy, but the thought of security makes me consider it. He sees me wavering. “Leia, I can make you happy if you just let me try. We can start again and take one day at a time. I’m guessing whoever got you in this way isn’t stepping up, or maybe your brother wouldn’t approve, but he has nothing against me. I can make him see that I’m right for you. Just say you’ll give us a try.”
“I don’t know . . . ”
“One day at a time. No pressure, and if you decide it’s not working, then I’ll walk away. I promise.”
“We take it slow,” I mutter and he nods eagerly. “And we’ll have a trial of a month. I don’t want anyone to know yet. No big announcements.”
He nods again and grabs my face, placing a wet kiss on my head. “You won’t regret it. I promise.”
CHAINS
I groan as Raven drags me around another furniture shop. I’m all for decorating, but she’s changing the whole damn house. “Last one, I promise.”
“You said that three stores ago.”
She’s obsessed with replacing the bed. I told her no one ever slept in it apart from me and her, but since we got back to London a few weeks ago, she’s making her stamp on my place. I guess it needed a woman’s touch after years of neglect from me.
My phone buzzes. It’s Riggs. I glance at Raven, who’s chatting happily to the sales person.
“Hold on,” I say to him as I head out the shop. “Everything okay?”
“When you coming back to the club, brother? I need my enforcer back,” he mutters.
“Cree told me weeks ago you were gonna call me, Pres, and I heard nothing. Now you call me out the blue and tell me you need me back. What’s happened?”
“I didn’t end that motherfucker. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and let him live on the condition he left the club and stayed away from London.”
“We’re talking about Cobra?” I clarify.
“He’s in London. One of the guys spotted him today. I can’t send Blu after him, I don’t know if Blu’s loyalties are still with him, so I’m asking you.”
“You know I’m in London, don’t ya?” I say because why else would he call me.
“Chains, your part of my club. Did ya think I could just let you go off radar? You know men don’t walk away from this club like that. I knew you were in London the second you crossed the border. If you’re leaving my club, then we need to meet, but if you’re not, then the break is over, brother. It’s time for you to get back to work.”