"It's not silly," he replied. "I kind of feel the same way."
"You do?"
"At first, I was going to use it for the festival, but with every brushstroke that continued to aid in its completion, my heart would get anxious at the idea of the world seeing this piece of work. Not because it's not good or at the level of excellence I'd need for a competition, but because it has a special place in my heart that I'd yet to really acknowledge. Guess I now know why."
"But...aren't you mad?"
"Why would I be mad?"
"You wasted time that could have gone into your festival piece."
"Painting is my outlet, Brianne. It's never a waste of time," he reassured me as he moved a strand from my face to behind my ear, his hand then lightly pressing against my cheek. "Just like spending time with you is never a waste of my time."
He kissed me before I could even debate, and the longer we shared such passion, the easier it was to let the worries go. "I've missed you," I muttered against his lips before kissing him softly.
"I always miss you," he replied in amusement before turning his head just slightly and locking me in a lingering kiss that made me further relax. I wondered if that dream was supposed to give us a moment together in the realms of freedom.
Dreams always tugged us away from the threads of reality to either show us the future or allow us some space from the webs of anxiety, fear, worry, and stress life brought sometimes. I wished that place I'd seen in my dream was real. That it could be a true place of pastel utopia in the glorious skies of fluffy clouds and warmth of the sunset's rays.
Dreams can be reality.
Marianna's comment intrigued me, but suddenly it felt like we were falling, which made us abruptly break the kiss before Finnick had an arm tightly around my waist.
"LEVITOSA!" Gusts of wind wrapped around us, keeping us levitated until we seemed to magically float. I quickly glanced around to see what happened, and I took in the vast view of the sky that surrounded us. Fluffy clouds passed by as my dream literally became reality.
"Wow," I gasped as Finnick loosened his hold around me before taking my hand while we continued to stay afloat.
I looked at him as his hair illuminated in a perfect greenish-blue. His pink strands were lighter – going from a darker pink to a brilliant baby pink shade that simply matched the sky around us. It almost felt like we'd entered a different world, and yet we felt right at home.
He turned his gaze in my direction, taking me in as if it were the first time he'd seen me before. My hair was levitating, just like his, and I could only guess that the magic he was using to keep us in the air was the culprit.
I took the brave move to look below and was amazed at the clear blue waters. With how high up we were, I was sure it would take a solid minute or two to reach the sparkling surface. Surely a drop that far wouldn't be survivable, which was making my heart beat like a drumming band against my chest.
Yet, I wouldn't deny the thrilling amazement I was currently experiencing; seeing my vision truly come together like we'd gone into the future or something.
"Was this what you saw?" Finnick quietly asked.
"Ya," I replied in astonishment. "This...was it. Only you had long hair."
"Hmm." He looked around. "Guess you Spell Traveled us here. It's nice to see it's real."
"I wish I knew where here was," I admitted.
"Does it matter?" Finnick inquired with a smirk as he squeezed my hand. "It's our secret oasis. It doesn't need a name."
He moved to face me, and I looked up to him while my arms moved to wrap around his waist. "What's really bothering you?" he whispered. "Bothering you enough to need to find some sort of salvation?"
This was the opportunity to share my buried anxieties over the matter, and yet I struggled like a lump was stuck in my throat. I wanted to say it, to at least let one of my men know what I was doing, yet my mind revolted against it.
"I...um..."
Why is this so hard? Why can't I just say it like I do with Aurora? I love my men. They support me in every obstacle in my life. Why can't I just face this? I'm not doing anything wrong, right?
Finnick's thumb brushed my cheek, the action tugging me out of my thoughts that were scrambling through my brain like wild butterflies fluttering through a thick forest. It took the movement of this thumb for me to realize I was crying, and he only widened his loving smile before he stabilized my head as he leaned down to kiss me.
The kiss wasn't like the other passionate ones. It was firm, like the feelings of emotional support that wrapped around me like a protective glove. Those sensations invited my heightened senses to acknowledge the flood of supportive energy flooding out of him.
There was not an inch of judgment or disgust even with my obvious conflicted struggle to accept his desire to help me. Though it revealed the anxiety building up regarding the matter, it also made me feel horrible for being unable to tell him what was choking me up.
"Red." his voice drifted into my mind while he maintained our lingering kiss. "Don't be afraid or sad. When you're ready to share, you know I'm always open to listening to you."
Why...why are you so damn kind?
He chuckled in my mind before he broke the kiss to look down at me.
"Brianne," he whispered. "Being kind is merely an objective. I think you sometimes forget I love you."
That made me blush while more tears ran down my wet cheeks.
"But...I shouldn't be struggling...to tell you." I was about to become a sobbing mess as I struggled to hold the tears back.
He lifted me further up with his levitating magic, so I had to look down at him while my arms rested on his shoulders.
"Red," he whispered. "If you're struggling to answer, it simply means that what you want to share is very important, and you're simply waiting for the right timing. There's nothing wrong with that, and I don't want you feeling pressured either."
"So...you don't hate me for it?"
"I'd never hate you, Brianne," he whispered. "The others wouldn't ever hate you either. We trust you, Bri. When you're ready to share something, we're ready to listen and support you."
He leaned up to kiss my chin as his eyes glimmered with hope.
"Like I said. When you're ready to share, we'll be right here to listen," he assured me. "Just don't push yourself too hard. Okay?"
I slowly nodded as my sobs left me. I sobbed into his shoulder as he hugged me tightly, the two of us floating in the silent haven. He let me cry, sob away my struggles I'd been quietly hiding from them.
He had a point. I had every intention of sharing with them when it felt right, but it wasn't the right time for some odd reason. I just had to figure out why.
What am I so afraid of?
We remained there for a long time, and I worried Finnick would exhaust his magic completely. "Finnick? We can go now."
"Nah," he whispered as he continued to hold me. "Let's stay here for a little longer. The sun will set soon."
I smiled as I hugged him a little tighter, my eyes focused on the sight beyond. I noticed something in the distance. My eyes narrowed in an attempt to clear out the blurriness, so I could decipher what was floating far away.