“We could make it a weekly tradition.”
“Will our wallets survive that?”
“I’m pretty sure our wallets will survive.”
“Does putting up with you for the rest of my life mean I can quit my customer service job? I don’t want to go back to dealing with Code Red 1D10Ts, Sebastian.”
“You don’t have to deal with Code Red 1D10Ts again if you don’t want to.”
“Are there people who actually want to deal with Code Red 1D10Ts?”
“Shockingly, yes. My younger brother is one of them. He enjoys nothing more than reining in the chaos of a Code Red to a satisfactory conclusion.” Sebastian shuddered. “I ask my mother if she’s really sure he’s actually my brother sometimes.”
“Is he?”
“I am the reason I have two extra brothers now. Apparently, using that line makes my mother hunt my father. The last time I used it, my mother ended up having to care for three lions at one time. She hasn’t forgiven me for it. Two lions are enough to drive her insane, but three at once? I am the worst son she has. I’m very proud of this. I’m trying to see if I can break her so she has to tend to four lions at one time.”
“You could visit her with one or two of your brothers. Then she’d have how many lions? How many brothers do you have?”
“There are six of us, and we’re all within eight or nine years of each other except for my youngest. I pulled that when my youngest brother, at the time, was four. My current youngest brother is two.”
“Lions don’t have litters, do they?”
“Fortunately for me, the woman of the relationship tends to be the responsible party for numbers of kittens born while the man of the relationship is the responsible party for the gender. If you give it your best to make sure we have litters of kittens, I’ll give it my best to make sure we have a lot of girls.”
“You want daughters, don’t you?” I eyed Sebastian with interest. “You know daughters are flukes in lycanthropes, right?”
“I might want at least three daughters to dote on,” he confessed. “And I’m hopeful my little lynx likes children.”
“If I start trying to make you poisoned fried chicken because of pregnancy hormones, you only have yourself to blame.”
“Some risks are worth taking.”
I eyed the wrapped car. “What do you think it is? Used?”
“It’s new, probably paid for in cash. I have a pretty good idea what your uncle is currently making, and after some of the jobs he’s successfully managed, he’s pretty wealthy. He could put all of your brothers through college right now and not miss the money. I’m betting all of your brothers are too proud to accept charity, so your uncle is spoiling you because the others won’t let him spoil them.”
“Are you sure you’re not a lynx?”
“I roar. Lynxes purr. I’m fairly certain I’m actually a lion.”
“What is the appropriate reaction to being given a new car? I had trouble accepting the laptop. I don’t want to lose, but I’m not sure what to do.”
“Transform your hands into claws, rip off the paper, and rub all over the car to mark it as your territory while purring. The purring will indicate to everyone you love your new car. You rubbing all over the car to mark it as your territory is attractive to me, and I’m a selfish, greedy lion.”
“Yes, you are so selfish. Completely greedy.” I stared into his eyes, and in my driest tone, I stated, “I have never met a more selfish lion in my entire life, and I have no idea why I put up with you.”
“Remind me not to play poker against you. According to your expression and tone, I am the lowliest of men. However, I know exactly how you handled me in the shower this morning, you devious, saucy wench.”
“That’s just a consolation prize for having to put up with a lion, really. That, plus it was a reward for packing up the hotel room while you napped.”
“I recommend you go the purring route while rubbing up against the car to mark it as your territory. At the very minimum, I’ll be amused.”
“May heaven forbid if the delicate lion isn’t amused.”
“It really should be criminal, yes. This world exists for me to rule it. I’m doing a fairly good job on the ruling front.”
“You can’t be a ruler if you have a boss. And if your boss has a boss, you’re definitely not a ruler.”
“I have to have obtainable goals for the future, else I would become a bored ruler of the world. This is how I fill the moments I’m not spending pursuing you for my nefarious plans.”
“I expect any dresses you put me into to be classy and protect my modesty.”
“You have modesty?”
“Yes. I know modesty is a difficult concept for lions to understand, but I’m sure you’ll learn with time.”
“This is like being humble or displaying humility, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“If I were meant to fly, I would have wings, Wells. Do I look like I have wings to you?”
Shaking my head, I headed for the porch, and as expected, a herd of my brothers stampeded through the front door. I set my bags and my precious cheese box down on the porch swing. “Don’t mess up his mane or his suit. I’m keeping that lion, and he needs to be in good condition. He’s taking me to Chicago for a week. I’m taking more time off. It’s his turn to spoil me at a spa.”
My brothers eyed Sebastian, who followed me onto the porch and armed himself with his best smile.
My poor brothers. Within ten minutes, Sebastian would have them questioning their sexuality. They’d be jealous of me, who would keep the lion. The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea. “I have noticed there is a car-shaped package parked in the best spot. Is that the offering so I can give Daddy his truck back?”
My twin brothers shoved through the gathering of tall, generally handsome lynxes, and I braced for an onslaught of affection. They delivered, and I got a double dose of brotherly nuzzling before they joined the rest of my brothers in glaring at Sebastian.
The lion chuckled. “I’m not going to stop her from visiting at her whim, and you might even get me to bring her over at my whim instead of hers. I’m a lion, which means I enjoy large, boisterous family affairs, so we would be frequent visitors. Just don’t mess up this suit. Your sister took away my other clothes so I’d wear it for her.”
“It’s true, I did. Lions are fairly lazy in the mornings, so I can make the clothes I don’t like disappear. I picked the suit today. He made it himself. Is the present shaped like a car in the prime parking spot for me? If it is, I need to go mark it as my territory before the lion does. Establishing territory is important to lions.”
Then, because I had more than one reason to be happy, I bounced on my toes and began with my softest purr, the one I used when in a state of anticipation, a rare enough occurrence my brothers focused on me instead of on my lion.
One of my brothers turned and shouted, “Dad, Harri’s purring because she’s hoping that car is hers. Can she unwrap it now? If she can’t unwrap it, the purrs will become whines.”
Only Hugh got so upset when I whined, he tried to prevent the whining before I started. Harvey waited for the whining to begin before getting upset.