Prologue
Jillian
I stare at myself in the mirror and can’t believe this is real. I look like a princess, but I sure don’t feel like one. Your wedding is supposed to be the happiest day of your life, and I think I just made a horrible mistake. I close my eyes, taking a deep breath as I try not to cry. I’ve made this mess, and now I need to pull up my big girl panties and get on with it.
I’ve been spiraling since we found out my dad is sick. They said if he was lucky he could live a few years, and he’d only get that because our family could afford the best doctors in the world. We’re only buying time, and I so badly want to make sure the time we have left with him is filled with things he might miss.
Such as walking me down the aisle and holding his first grandchild. When Paul asked me to marry him, I stupidly said yes. I was a little taken aback to be honest, because when he said he wanted to go to dinner and talk, I was sure we were breaking up. There’s no real spark between us, and the few kisses we’ve shared were nothing to write home about.
When he said he thought we should get married because we make a good match, there were no words of love. He’d actually listed out reasons why we fit, and none of them were about love or soul mates. It felt more like a business deal than anything.
Before I knew what was happening, the ball was rolling so fast with wedding plans, and then there was no stopping it. For a brief moment I thought about calling off the wedding. I told Paul how I was feeling, because I thought he must be feeling the same way too. We’d never said, “I love you,” so I thought he had to have some trepidation.
I was wrong. Paul lost his mind and told me there was no backing out now. That’s when the threats started pouring from his mouth. That’s when the real Paul showed himself, and he struck where he knew I’d give in.
He told me he’d make my father’s life hell if we didn't marry. I didn't know if Paul had that power, to be honest, but the cold look in his eyes had me agreeing to stay the course. I didn't want to cause more problems, and my mom was hanging on by a thread. This wedding had both my parents in good spirits, and I didn't want to ruin that for anyone.
I found out then that Paul could be a cruel man when he didn’t get what he wanted, and I knew it even before I walked down the aisle.
“You only have to do this for a few years.” I open my eyes and try to steel myself.
I can divorce him later, and my father can leave this world thinking everything is okay and that I’m taken care of. I don't want my life to be a burden on him right now, and I also don't want it to be on my brother’s shoulders either.
I take the veil off my head and toss it on the chair. I did my part today and smiled as I walked down the aisle. I danced with my dad and my brother and cut the cake. When my parents left the reception, I quickly did the same, leaving my groom to continue drinking with his friends. I bet he hasn't even realized I’m gone.
The wedding was held at my family's estate, and I made my escape to my bedroom. Paul and I are supposed to leave tomorrow morning, and my stomach churns thinking about it. I glance over to my bed and wonder if he’s going to come in here tonight or go back to the bedroom he’s been staying in since we got here a few days ago.
There’s been one small blessing with my new husband. He has some kind of erectile dysfunction. He didn't go into much detail about it and got angry the few times I’ve brought it up. It made those handful of kisses make sense. I thought we never went further because I didn't want to, but also because there was no spark on his side either.
I pull at the wedding dress, wanting it off of my body. It took several people to get me into it, and now it feels like a strait jacket. I have to fight with it, and I hear a few tears, but eventually I get it off and shove it in the back of the closet along with the veil. I can’t look at it anymore because it’s just a reminder of how I’ve failed myself. I move clothes around to cover it up, then I stand there in the closet and try to breathe.
The hollow ache inside of me that’s been there since we got the news about my father grows deeper, until it’s a bottomless pit. I have a feeling the next few years of my life are going to not only be the hardest but the loneliest too.
Needing to wash the makeup off my face, I step out of the closet then freeze. My bedroom door opens, and my stomach drops, thinking it’s Paul.
A man I’ve never seen before steps inside and shuts the door behind him. He’s so damn big and dressed in a tight suit that clings to every bulky muscle. I would have noticed him if he’d been at the wedding or the reception, but he is a total stranger.
He’s got his phone pressed to his ear, and he sounds pissed as he speaks in French. I only pick up a few words, but he’s saying something about time and love and idiots. That’s all I understand from the few years of French I took back in high school.
He runs his hand through his short wavy dark hair in frustration, still not seeing me. But as he turns around and his blue eyes lock with mine, he stops speaking and lowers the phone from his ear. I suck in a breath as I finally get a look at what has to be the handsomest man I’ve ever seen in my life. Yeah, I would have noticed him before. He says something in French and ends the call, then slowly lowers the phone to his pocket.
“Sorry, I was trying to get a moment alone.” His eyes travel down my body and back up, and I remember I’m only in panties and a strapless bra. I should dart into the bathroom and cover myself, but my feet stay planted, unable to move. I open my mouth, but no words come out. “Have we met?” he asks but then shakes his head, answering his own question. “No, I’d remember you.” He takes a few tentative steps closer to me. “I’m dreaming, that has to be what this is.” He shakes his head again. “You look like a damn angel.”
Maybe I’m dreaming too because I find myself taking a step toward him. Longing so deep inside of me aches, and the way he’s looking at me feels…safe. I’ve been lost these past few months with my father getting sicker, a loveless relationship, and no hope on the horizon. This man smiles so kindly and sweetly, and maybe it’s desperate, but I need to be held so badly I take another step closer to him.
In the blink of an eye, he clears the rest of the space between us, and like he can hear my thoughts, he wraps his arm around me, pulling me into his body.
“I’ve got you,” he says, and my heart leaps to life like it was asleep before now. “I’m right here.” His words are barely a whisper before his mouth descends on mine.
Prologue
Isaac
I was late and looking for a place to finish my call. I’d wandered the halls of this home that seems like a castle until I got turned around. There should have been signs posted for where the hell to go, but I also had urgent business that I should have been in France to deal with. Instead I’m working, the time change is a pain in my ass, and I can’t find a decent cell connection within these stone walls.
When I’d given up trying to find out where I was supposed to be, I opened the door in front of me and went inside.
I don’t remember what my assistant Anne was saying into the phone when I locked eyes with the dark-haired beauty in front of me. I don’t remember much of anything, if I’m honest. I couldn’t tell you why I was in this room, who I was on the phone with, or even my name. She’s rendered me speechless while draining me of all thoughts beyond this room and this moment.