Monica was tempted to ask him if his work was the reason that he rarely found time to go there but decided against it. “It must be really interesting, being a private investigator.”
He picked up his fork again. “I love what I do. My specialty is finding missing persons, which is definitely interesting. But the job requires a lot of travel. An assignment might take me anywhere. And there’s no telling how long I’ll be gone.”
Monica wondered if his constant traveling was the reason why he hadn’t settled down yet. There was only one way to find out. “May I ask you something, Landon?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“Why are you still single?”
The pain that suddenly flashed in his eyes was deep and poignant. He didn’t say anything for a minute, then took a sip of wine. Finally, he said, “It wasn’t supposed to be this way.”
She lifted a brow. “It wasn’t?”
“No. Six years ago, I was engaged to be married.”
“What happened?” Maybe she shouldn’t have asked him that, but curiosity had gotten the best of her.
He took a deep breath, and then, in a low voice, said, “My fiancée, along with two of her bridesmaids, were killed two days before our wedding by a drunk driver. They’d been leaving her bachelorette party.”
Monica gasped when a sharp pain sliced through her for the three women she hadn’t known. But just knowing that one of them was a woman Landon had loved and planned to marry, made her wish she hadn’t asked. She picked up her own wine glass to take a sip. She couldn’t begin to imagine what Landon had gone through.
On instinct, she reached out and placed her hand on his. “I’m so sorry, Landon. What a tragic thing to happen, just days before your wedding.”
He didn’t say anything for a minute. “It was,” he finally admitted. “Those were some of the darkest days of my life. I only got through them with the help of family and friends.”
She pulled her hand back. “I’m glad they were there for you.”
He stared at the wine in his glass for a long moment, as if studying the dark liquid. “Yes, but sometimes family and friends weren’t enough. Then, at other times, they were too much. I started feeling smothered by the outpouring of sympathy from so many people that at one point, it was hard for me to deal with my grief.”
He drew in a deep breath. “After the funeral, I took off for the cabin in Vancouver where Simone and I were supposed to spend our honeymoon. Although my family begged me not to go, I had to get away. I desperately needed time alone.”
Monica couldn’t imagine him going on his honeymoon alone, and her heart ached, knowing what had driven him there. But she also understood what he’d been thinking. She came from a big family, herself. Sometimes, although they meant well, her family could be a little forceful in their opinions about what was best for her. But she didn’t always agree.
“I admire the courage it took for you to go there alone after what happened, Landon,” she said softly.
A serious slant touched his lips. “That’s just it, Monica. At the time, I didn’t feel alone. This might sound crazy but there were days when I could actually feel Simone’s presence.”
She shook her head. “That doesn’t sound crazy at all. My great-grandmother Idella died years ago, but during the roughest times in my life, I’ve often felt her presence. And I always felt better.”
Monica could readily recall one of those times—when her father had rejected her—when she’d been soothed by her great-grandmother’s ethereal presence. Monica had taken her father’s actions hard until she’d gotten to know her other siblings and discovered he had pretty much written them off as well. Even Kelly had no relationship with her father—and she had lived in the same house with him for the first twelve years of her life!
Landon turned his attention back to his meal, as if needing a moment to get a hold of himself. Then he continued his story. “When I returned to Atlanta, I threw myself into my work. And that’s what I’ve done ever since. I took assignments that none of the other guys wanted. Traveling kept me away from Atlanta, but that was fine. For the first few years, the pain was too much to bear when I was home. There were so many memories. My family told me I was wallowing in my grief, not dealing with it. So it was better that I was away.”
Monica didn’t say anything. It had been six years since he’d lost his fiancée and she could still hear the pain in his voice. It was obvious he had loved her a lot. His Simone must have been a special woman. She’d definitely been a blessed one for Landon to have loved her so much.
He seemed pensive while studying his wine, and she could just imagine what he was thinking, the memories that were probably going through his mind right now. She figured it had been hard for him to relive the past, but she was glad he had done so with her.
Landon then lifted his head and said, “That’s why my sister got it into her head to send me on this cruise for my birthday. And she somehow got others to buy into it.” He laughed. “So here I am.”
Monica took a sip of her wine, then smiled. “And I’m glad you are, Landon.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
SOMETHING STIRRED TO LIFE in the pit of Landon’s stomach, and he tightened his hand on his wine glass. Once again, he wondered about the connection between them. Why was he drawn to her the way he was? Why just holding her gaze was causing all kinds of emotions to stir in him?
And why had he bared his soul to her just now?
Talking to her, reliving that painful time in his life, had been easy, natural, when with others, it had always been difficult. A few years ago, he had finally given in to his parents’ pleas and sought out the help of a grievance counselor. Dr. Jamison had been great, and with the man’s help Landon had been able to work through a lot of things, although not all.
Even now, he wanted to take a step back and put some distance between him and the woman whose gaze he was still holding. He had a feeling Monica Bennett could become of vital importance to him and there was a part of him that didn’t want that, didn’t want any woman to ever mean that much to him again.
Yet, at the same time, he felt he had met Monica for a reason. He’d always been too logical, too analytical to be a dreamer. Yet, surprisingly, he found a part of him still was. There had to be a reason their paths had crossed twice, the way they had. Maybe it was fanciful thinking on his part, but whatever it was, he couldn’t walk away from it. Besides, spending time with her meant not spending time with them—all the other women onboard, who even now were staring at him as if he was a juicy steak.
But no matter who might be looking at him, his attention was solely focused on Monica right now. Neither one of them was saying much, but he figured they really didn’t have to. Their eyes were saying it all.
Finally, she broke eye contact and glanced around. He used that time to breathe in slowly, trying to reclaim his desire for a rather tidy, uncomplicated life. Why did he feel that with Monica, there would be complications he might not be ready to deal with? Might be too old to deal with?
He still couldn’t dismiss the ten-year difference in their ages. But like his sister, Monica acted rather mature for her age. He appreciated that.