“A quick one.” He pushes inside. “Unless… do you have company?”
“No.” My stomach drops like I’m riding the Gravitron at Cedar Point. Did Cal tell him about me and Lily after all? “Nope. I’m working on fixing some bugs in my current project.”
“You still haven’t told me what kind of app it is.” He stops in front of my couch. Eyeballs Lily’s trench coat.
This is it. This is where I die. Throat punched to death by my best friend while his little sister waits for me in my bed. Christ, what a way to go. It’s almost as good as being knocked unconscious by your brother and falling into a swimming pool. My lungs constrict. They always do when the memories resurface. I force air into them. Push it out. If it hadn’t been for Arwen jumping into the pool after me… fuck… I don’t know if I would even be here. Dad would have let me drown to save his own sorry ass. Ryder was so angry I don’t think it even registered that he punched my lights out. And my mom hadn’t defended me or Ryder from my dad in years. There was no way she would have lifted a finger that day. Even if she’d known the reason for what occurred.
“Are you sure you don’t have company?” Hud pulls me back into the present. Obviously he doesn’t recognize Lily’s coat because he isn’t trying to kill me.
“No. This is… my coat.” I snatch it off the couch and thrust an arm into one sleeve then the other. The material protests as I try to stretch it over my back.
“Don’t be ridiculous.” Hud shakes his head, a stupid grin on his face as he pulls out two beers and places them on the coffee table before taking the rest to the kitchen to put in the fridge. Once that’s done he settles his ass on my couch and pops the tab on his can. “It’s your mystery girlfriend’s, isn’t it?”
“I don’t have a girlfriend.” It takes sheer willpower not to glance at my bedroom door. Lily isn’t my girlfriend. Not yet anyway. Soon. I can’t imagine going back to pretending I don’t want and adore her. I struggle to take the coat off. Bundle it up and toss it in the coat closet. “It must belong to Julia. She must have left it here. Probably thought it would be a good excuse to come back.”
“Do you really not remember their names?” He offers me an open can.
“You know I’m bad with names and faces.” I perch on the arm of the couch and take a sip of the pale ale. Take a breath. One beer and he’s out of here. Whatever it takes. “It’s easier for them to not have expectations if they think I can’t even get their names right.”
“Your walls are fucked,” he says.
“Speak for yourself,” I gripe. “You wield humor like it’s a shield. Never seen anyone keep people at bay the way you used to do.”
“Used to. That’s the operative word right there.” He picks up my remote and flicks through the channels on my TV.
“Don’t get too comfortable. You’re leaving after I finish this beer. I have work to do.”
“Sure.” He settles on some old football game and we watch in silence for a few minutes before he says, “You’ve been acting strange since you came home from L.A. Did anything happen out there?”
“No.” I swallow a mouthful of amber liquid and try not to choke on it. “Nothing happened in L.A. You made me baby-sit your sister, remember? How could anything happen when I was with Lily the entire time?”
The lines across his forehead deepen.
Talk about practically sticking my foot in my mouth. I shut my eyes and offer up a prayer to The Big Man Upstairs. I’ll work on my walls and gift money to charity. Just please don’t let Hud realize that while I was with Lily I was also dating her.
Oh, let’s be serious, he’s not going to assume we’re dating. He’ll assume I’m fucking her and murder me right where I sit. Probably will happen so fast I won’t have a chance to spill my beer.
“I thought you’d seen Ryder. Or perhaps Jessa,” he finally says. “I know you haven’t been yourself since you found out about the wedding.”
“Oh.” I finally breathe easy for the first time since he showed up.
“I know how hard it is to watch the woman you’ve been in love with forever commit to someone else,” he says.
Of course he thinks I’m still in love with Jessa. Because he’s been in love with Jane since they were teenagers. He went through it when she moved to the UK with her boyfriend after college.
“I don’t know all the details.” He shrugs. “I don’t need to. Unless you want to tell me. But as your best bud, I just want you to know I’m here for you.”
“Thanks.” I don’t know what else to say. Guilt settles heavily on my shoulders. The sooner I tell him about me and Lily the better. Keeping this a secret from him feels like I’m betraying our friendship.
“That’s really all I came to say.” He rises to his feet and claps me on the shoulder. “Oh, and call Arwen. She’s worried about you. Said you aren’t even returning her texts anymore.”
“I’ll give her a call.” Now that I’m back in Chicago and out of easy reach. I didn’t want to give her or anyone else a reason to come see me while I was in L.A.
I follow him to the door.
“Enjoy the rest of my beers,” he tells me. “You look like you need to relax.”
“I’ll work on it.” I shut the door before he makes it to the elevator. Vault over the couch and sprint to my bedroom.
Lily’s on her belly in my bed. Naked. The dark sheets contrast with her bare, milky skin. The Sailor Mars costume lies in a heap on the floor. She’s still wearing the red heels.
“Damn.” I am one lucky son of a gun.
She glances over her shoulder at me, my paperback copy of Last Wish spread in front of her. She’s wearing my reading glasses. The black rims suit her, though I’m not certain they’re doing her eyesight any favors. “Is he gone?”
“Yes.”
She smiles as she sits up and covers her delectable body with her crossed legs. Taking my glasses off, she sets them and my book neatly on the nightstand. “Then where were we?”
I drag my T-shirt over my head, toss it on the floor. Jam my hands into the waistband of my jeans and shove them down without fucking worrying about the button or zipper. Cover the distance to the bed and pounce on her. “Fuck, I want you.”
She giggles when I growl like an animal. Rolls under me until she’s on her belly again.
I run my lips along the bumps of her spine. Bite her shoulder. “You want it like this?”
“I want it any way you want to give it to me,” she says breathlessly.
I trace two fingers down the crack of her ass and between her legs. She squirms when I touch her pussy. Her wetness coats my fingers. My chest swells. I’m utterly smitten. Can’t breathe…can’t sleep…without her. The way she smells. Her taut, smooth flesh. The way she wants me. Me, the guy who fucks up and is deep down terrified of letting anyone in. “You’re perfect. You know that? Absolutely perfect, Lil.”
“I…” She licks her lips. Whimpers as I stroke one finger inside her. “That feels so-oh my…”