“You serious?”
I nodded. I should’ve felt sad about that. I felt relief.
“Gi and Zoe didn’t want me there. I knew it. They knew it. The parents didn’t care, but my friends have moved on. They have new lives.”
“That’s bullshit.”
Maybe. I drank half of Ryan’s drink instead of caring. “They loved Willow too. They were my best friends, but Willow and I were a package deal. I was friends with her friends.” I gestured to my face. “You weren’t at the funeral. It’s easier to forget Willow than to mourn her.” I remembered the disgust I saw on Duke’s face. “Her boyfriend couldn’t get out of there fast enough. He had his hands all over Serena, Willow’s best friend.”
“Yeah. Well . . .” Ryan balled up the bag of chips and tossed it across the room. It landed on the desk next to me. “People suck. Trust me. I get it.” He stood, pointing to my glass. “I’ll bring the ingredients. We can mix drinks till we pass out, huh?”
He left, so he didn’t see my response.
I was smiling so damn hard, and I wasn’t even sure why. All I knew was that I was happy when he came back. I could relax in this room with him, and I laughed until we did exactly what he said.
We passed out around three in the morning, after I drank myself into oblivion.
It was the best night I’d had in a long while.
Chapter Nine
I woke the next morning around eight.
I would’ve freaked, but Ryan rolled over, put his arm over me, and tugged me in for a side-hug. “No one’s here,” he murmured. “Trust me. We’re good.”
He was right. Even two hours later, the latest I allowed us to sleep, no one was around.
“My dad golfs on Saturdays.”
“What about your mom? Peach?”
He yawned, raking a hand through his hair as he padded to the bathroom. “Mom’s probably sleeping. Her book club doesn’t mess around. When they drink, they drink.” I heard the shower turn on, and he yelled over it, “And gossip. They wine hard and gossip hard.”
I stood, edging to the opened door. I almost gulped, but he didn’t seem to care. This was a different level of intimacy. Then again, maybe it was because we’d slept together. Yeah. That was it. Either way, I was feeling nerves and flutters in my stomach that I didn’t recognize. I’d never felt like that. Ever.
“What about your sister?” I asked, not moving inside the bathroom.
Ryan looked over, his hair getting mashed down from the water, and he gave me a side-grin.
God. A whole new level of flutters exploded in my gut at that sight.
The shower doors were frosted, so I couldn’t see anything from his chest down. But I could see the silhouette of his body, and I think that was enough. My whole neck and face were getting warm now.
“She won’t be back till this afternoon, or even tonight,” he drawled. “She might stay till tomorrow too. We could hang out all day, if you wanted.”
I perked up at that suggestion—no home, no angry or absent parents. But also no brother who I knew needed me.
I shook my head. “I can’t.” But wait—I remembered a conversation. Robbie was going somewhere today. “Wait. Maybe I can.”
“Yeah?” He was shampooing his hair, and I tried not to watch as the suds fell down his body, his nice lean body, the body that felt so strong when he held me.
I tore my gaze away. Was I becoming like Willow? Was that what was going on? I couldn’t see her, talk to her, be with her, and so I was starting to become her?
I grabbed my phone and sent a text.
The shower turned off, and I kept my head down as Ryan stepped out and began toweling off. He came back to the bedroom, going to his closet as my phone pinged a response.
Robbie: Mom and Dad are taking me to a school. I thought you knew? Where are you?
“What?” I typed back a response.
Me: What school? I’m coming back early.
“What’s wrong?” Ryan came to sit next to me. He had jeans on and bent over to pull on socks and shoes. He was close enough that I felt the brush of his shirt before he sat up and leaned backward on his bed.
“Robbie’s going to some school today.”
“Oh.” Ryan snapped his fingers, pointing at my phone. “There’s a private place not far from here. All sorts of gifted and smart kids go there.”
I twisted around to face him square. “You’re joking.” My stomach took a nosedive. I wanted him to be joking. This school was made up, a figment of his imagination.
“What?”
He wasn’t. This had become my new nightmare. My phone pinged another response from Robbie, but it almost fell from my hands.
They were taking him away. I knew it. I could feel it.
Willow had left, and they were taking away Robbie.
Who was next?
“What’s wrong?” Ryan leaned forward again, his voice soft. He took the phone from me, reading Robbie’s message aloud. “It’s fine. I want to go. I’ll see you tonight. Love you, sis.”
He handed my phone back, but I almost didn’t want it. And seeing that, he put the phone on the bed, tossing it by his pillow.
His shoulder nudged mine gently. “You okay?”
No. I was so not fine. I didn’t know if I ever would be again.
But all I said was, “I’m down to hang out today.”
Sometime between grabbing an early lunch—where Ryan ordered food for me and didn’t give me a say in the matter—and returning to the house, our plans changed.
We walked in and heard shouts and laughter coming from the backyard.
“What?” Ryan frowned, tossing our bag of food onto the counter and going to the back door.
Peach ran in, opening and shutting the door behind her. She didn’t see me but greeted Ryan with a wide smile. “I call pool party today!”
“What? No.”
“What?” She mocked him, fluttering her eyelashes. “Yes. And get ready, douchebag. Your friends are coming over. I called ’em. And some people from your grade. Stephanie Witts and her friends are already here.”
“Mom and Dad okay this?”
Peach didn’t answer. She’d spotted me, and I watched the life drain out of her. “Oh. You.”
I rolled my eyes, but Ryan beat me, saying, “She’s a friend. Back the fuck off, Peach.”
Her mouth snapped shut. His growl worked wonders.
The doorbell rang, and the door opened. “Yo, Ryan!”
Tom, Nick, and another guy barreled in. They stopped short when they saw me.
They didn’t give Peach a second look. It shouldn’t have pleased me, but it did.
Tom’s eyes went wide. “Hey, Mackenzie. I didn’t know you’d be here.”
Nick added, “Yeah, long time no see. You ditched us after movie night.”
The third guy pointed to me. “This her?”
The back of my neck got hot. “Are you asking about my sister?”
“Sister?” the guy echoed.
“No. Erin, man,” Tom told me. “You took her down. You’re infamous.”