Home > I Have Lived and I Have Loved(224)

I Have Lived and I Have Loved(224)
Author: Willow Winters

This was much harder than anything I’d ever done, but she was right; I needed to find my balls. I’d tell Harper how I felt. Tell her we shouldn’t let business get in the way.

It was going to be easy, right?

“You’re not wearing that, are you?” Violet asked as she wandered in.

“Good point,” Scarlett said. “Go put on your best jeans and a blue button down. The slogan T-shirt isn’t working for you.”

“Hey, this is vintage,” I said.

“Go change,” Violet said.

Did I have time for a shower? I looked at my watch and my stomach churned. Only twenty minutes until she’d be here. In my house. In the place I’d fantasied about fucking her. Harper was the only woman I’d ever wanted to bring here, into my home, into my life.

I bounded upstairs, taking the steps two at a time. I needed to run through what I wanted to say and I didn’t want anyone disturbing me.

It was the most important pitch of my life and I hadn’t rehearsed.

 

 

Chapter 17

 

 

Harper

 

“What did you make me do?” I yelled into the speaker of my phone as I pulled off the I-95. The GPS told me I was six minutes away. I hated driving, especially on routes I didn’t know, and this was my first time in Connecticut. “This is a terrible idea.”

“It’s a great idea,” Grace said. “And anyway, whatever happens, you’ve done the right thing by Amanda.”

I’d promised Amanda I’d help her get ready for her dance and I wasn’t about to let a fourteen-year-old girl down. I knew what it felt like to be disappointed by an adult, and I’d never knowingly inflict that feeling on someone else.

“What did you end up wearing?” Grace said. “Please tell me you put a skirt on. Men like skirts.”

“I’m wearing shorts.”

“That hot combination you do with the buttoned-up blouse and the casual, bordering on slutty shorts?”

I grinned, secretly pleased with the endorsement. “They’re not slutty. Just short.” Okay, they were a little bit slutty.

Amanda was only part of the reason I’d borrowed Grace’s new car to drive to Connecticut. I wanted to see Max. To figure out whether the ache in my bones would ease when I saw him. To work out whether it was love or just regret that tugged at my heart.

Men before Max had always been a stop on the way to something else. I’d always seen the way out, never had both feet in. With Max I wasn’t constantly seeking the exit. I’d been happy to be in the moment with him, share things, talk, enjoy just being together. My feelings for him had snuck up from behind me and only screamed boo when Max had already gone.

“Okay, well, you won’t need it, but good luck.”

How could she say that? There was a real possibility Max would be furious with me. I’d walked out of my job without giving any notice. I’d screamed at him in his office, then turned off my phone and ignored every one of his messages.

Worst of all, Max hadn’t really done anything wrong when he’d agreed to take me off the team. Maybe he’d been a little insensitive, but my relationship with my father wasn’t Max’s battle to fight. It wasn’t as if the only reason King & Associates had landed the pitch was because I worked there.

My stomach churned at the thought of no longer being an employee at King & Associates. I’d worked so hard to get there. But I wouldn’t have any regrets. I’d met Max and whatever happened between us, I’d always be grateful for that. It had forced me to deal with my father. I’d thought King & Associates would help build my career, but really it had helped patch up my soul.

As I pulled up in front of the gray clapboard, two-story house, my nerves took hold. I didn’t know the man who lived here. The place looked so . . . domestic. There was a field to one side, and what looked like a barn on the other. I counted four cars in the gravel driveway. Wow. Were they having a party?

I reached into the backseat and pulled out the sparkling cider I’d brought along with my makeup.

“Hey, Harper.”

I climbed out and saw Amanda waving at me from the doorway. I smiled, unable to wave back because I had my hands full.

“Hey, how are you?” I called, looking up over the roof of the car. “Are you nervous?”

“Not nervous at all,” she said as I locked the car. “Especially not now that you’re here.”

Voices grew louder as Amanda and I crossed the slate-floored entry. The home had a completely different feel from Max’s office. Photographs of Amanda dotted the walls. The doors, frames, and ceiling beams were stained a warm honey and the space was large and airy with open doors leading out onto a pool area. As we headed toward the kitchen, Max came into view.

My ache for him disappeared, my body sagging with relief as if it had been starved of water and had finally found an oasis.

Aware of everyone around us, I avoided eye contact. If he was angry with me, I wasn’t sure how I’d react.

“Harper,” he said. “Come in. You’re kind to come all this way. I’m sure I don’t know what Amanda did to deserve it.” He didn’t sound in the least bit angry, so I looked up to find him grinning at me. I tried to cover my delight, nodding as I glanced behind him at two women looking at us.

His sister Scarlett I’d met before. Who was the other one? I knew Amanda’s mother couldn’t make it back from Europe. Was I too late? Had Max moved on? No, it must be Violet. She looked like Max and Amanda.

“Come on upstairs. We don’t have long,” Amanda said.

“You have two hours, which is plenty long enough to introduce Harper to your aunts,” Max said.

I was sure my relief showed in my sharp exhale. Yes, aunts. “Hi,” I said, offering a half wave. They both slipped off their barstools to greet me.

“I’m Scarlett—we met in the elevator,” the blonde said as she pulled me into a hug as if I’d known her my whole life.

“I’m Violet, the youngest.” Violet’s hug was slightly less effusive but a little more familiar than I’d expected.

I got the distinct impression I’d been the subject of a discussion between the two of them.

“Can I get you something to drink?” Max asked.

I held up the cider. “I brought something.” I glanced between Max and his daughter.

“You should know what to do when someone brings you a gift,” Max said.

Amanda covered her mouth with both hands, then said, “I’m so sorry. That’s really kind of you and you didn’t have to.”

She was such a sweet girl. “It’s my total pleasure,” I replied.

“Why don’t you get into the shower? Violet can bring you some cider when she comes to do your hair.”

Amanda raced upstairs, leaving me in the kitchen with Max and his two sisters. I’d expected to have Amanda as a buffer while I was here. And I didn’t know whether Max’s friendly veil would drop once she’d left the room. I took a breath. I could do this. Max deserved the humble pie I was about to dish up.

“I have the grown-up alternative to sparkling cider if you’re interested?” he asked.

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