Home > I Have Lived and I Have Loved(73)

I Have Lived and I Have Loved(73)
Author: Willow Winters

As I lie there naked, it hits me that this really happened. It isn’t just some dream. This is real. I had sex with a member of Four Blocks Down on his tour bus. Where he’s done this with I don’t know how many girls. I’ve never had sex with a random stranger before and now I’m lying here with a man that probably only does that. I’m not special, he probably doesn’t even remember my name since all he did was call me “baby”.

The bed shifts as Eli rises. “You need anything?”

A shower and a lobotomy. “No,” I reply quickly.

“I’ll be right back.”

He heads into what I assume is the bathroom, and I jump up. I can’t believe this. What the hell is wrong with me? What was I thinking? Clearly, I wasn’t. I blame Nicole.

“What’s your last name?” he asks from the other side of the door.

I quickly throw my clothes on. I need to get out of here. “Covey,” I reply while pulling on my jeans. Where the hell did my underwear go? I look around and under the bed but don’t see them. Damn it.

He flushes the toilet, and I’m out of time. I can’t look at him. I need to go before he returns.

I grab my heels and phone and rush off the bus. I need Nicole, and then we need to leave. Now.

I spot her as soon as I walk through the door. Thank God. Nicole is making out with some guy in the hallway. Typical. I grab her arm and pull.

“We have to go,” I explain.

She looks back at the guy, “I’m—”

“No. We have to go right now.”

“Heather,” she protests.

“Now!” I yell at her, and her eyes widen.

I’m not known for yelling, but when I do . . . I mean business.

“Bye.” She says to the guy, and I drag her along. “Slow down.”

I don’t even acknowledge her. My mind runs in circles as I think about what just happened.

“We have to go.” There’s no way I can look at his face.

“You said that,” she grumbles as we move. “What happened?”

I shake my head, pulling her into almost a sprint. I’m going to be sick. It was amazing, and so ridiculously good, but so wrong. I’m not a one-night stand girl. I’m a commitment and get-to-know-you girl. The guys at least know my last name. I’m a slut. I’m worse than a slut . . . I’m a groupie slut.

“Don’t make me stop walking,” Nicole threatens. “You know I will.”

“Fine,” I stop as we get to the exit door. “We had sex. Really good sex. You happy?”

The size of the smile on her face is all the answer I need. She looks like a proud mother at a talent show.

“Fuck yeah, I’m happy. Why are we running away?”

“Because . . .” I huff. “We had sex! I had sex with him! We have to go.”

I push through the door, still dragging Nicole behind me. “That doesn’t explain why you’re running barefoot through the arena.”

I’m not explaining this to her. “Just keep moving.”

We finally exit, and I could literally cry. They closed the gates to the parking lot.

“Now what?” she asks, looking at the tall metal gate with big ass locks on it.

We could go to the south entrance, but that would take too long. There’s only one option. “We climb.”

“The hell we do!”

I let out a heavy breath and glare at her. “Nicole, I just did something so unlike me that I’m not even sure it was me. So, we’re climbing the fence because you’re my best friend and I need to get the fuck out of here.”

“Babe.” Nicole’s eyes fill with sadness. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I’m a groupie slut.”

“You’re so not a groupie. You’re the furthest thing from a slut.”

I don’t respond. Instead, I chuck my shoes over the fence and start to climb.

When I was twelve, I could climb fences pretty quick. Especially growing up in Tampa where we would hop fences to get to each other’s yards. But I’m not even halfway up and I’m winded, my foot has slipped more than once, and I can only imagine what I look like from below.

“Shit!” I yell as my toe misses the next opening. Nicole’s laughter fills the air. “Stop laughing and start climbing!”

“This is priceless.” she laughs harder. “Wait. Let me get my camera!”

“Nicole! We need to get out of here in case he comes looking for me.”

“Fine. Fine. Chicken shit.” Her shoes fly over my head, and the entire fence shakes. “You owe me.”

“Stop moving!” I try not to laugh, but it’s futile. This is hysterical. “I’m going to pee,” tears fall from my eyes as I hold on.

“I need a Go-Pro for the next time we go out.”

“I hate you,” I say between giggles.

She purposely rocks back, causing me to almost fall. “You only wish you did.”

“If I fall . . .” I warn as I sway and try to climb higher.

“It’ll be what you deserve for making me climb a freaking fence at one in the morning!”

The amount of ways that I’m going to pay for this is unimaginable. My co-workers saw me being sung to on stage, I’m sure one of the guys from my squad caught me going backstage, I’m going to have scrapes from climbing a fence, and Nicole will never let me live this down.

I reach the top, one leg swung over on one side and one still in Eli-land. And that’s when I hear him. “You’re going to just run out?” Eli’s voice is filled with disbelief. “Just like that?”

I get myself over the other side and climb to the ground so I have the fence between us. Nicole is near the top, watching this unfold. “This was a mistake. It should’ve never happened.”

“So, you run?” He takes a step closer, and I thank God for the metal between us.

“Nic,” I whisper-shout, urging her to come down, and she starts to descend. I glance back at Eli, who stands before me with no shirt or shoes. His chest heaves as if he ran here to find me. I stare at him. “It’s better this way,” I say, wishing Nicole would hurry the hell up.

“Why? Says who? You didn’t even give me a chance!” Eli grips the back of his neck.

“This would never work. Seriously. You don’t have to try.”

Even if my life were completely peachy, which it isn’t, Eli and I would never work. We had sex, it doesn’t mean I want more, but there isn’t even a chance I could. I’ve already seen that men are selfish, and I can’t even provide enough attention for a local police lieutenant, there’s no way I can do it for a world renowned actor and singer.

Eli takes another step, his hand gripping the steel separating us. “You said you don’t do this before, well, I don’t chase after girls who run out, so we’re both doing something different. I wanted to talk . . . I wasn’t asking for anything, Heather.”

So, he does know my name, that makes me feel marginally better.

Nicole finally drops down beside me, and tears fill my eyes. I know she sees it. I’m not upset because of him. I’m upset because of me.

“Let’s go.”

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