All the I'm gonna fuck with you falls off his face. His eyes turn down. His lips curl into a frown. "But you don't have to."
"I want to."
"Why? You don't trust me?"
"You know I do."
"How the fuck do I know that?" He shakes his head. "You've been M.I.A., Walker. You like this girl. I get it. I like her too."
"You do?" Leighton's face screws with confusion. She shoots me a really look.
I shrug.
He flips her off.
"Seriously, Dean, you've been a total dick to her," she says.
"I'm working on it." He looks to me. "And I am fucking sorry I've been an asshole to your… whatever she is. But you need to work on this shit too. You forget I've known you forever. That smile you plaster on every day is bullshit. I've known it's bullshit. Just not why."
I press my heel into the ground. "It's not bull—"
"Yeah. It is. If Bree showed up at your place high…" He shakes his head. "You're freaking the fuck out. Imagining the cops notifying you they've found her dead in a fucking alley."
I suck a breath between my teeth. "Sometimes. So what?"
"So, you tell your fucking friends shit is messed up." He takes a step backward. "We can help. I can help."
"How?"
"It was barely a month ago you dragged her to rehab. You think I've forgotten? You were a fucking mess."
Maybe.
"I'm not an idiot. I get that we're not fifteen anymore. I get that you're gonna meet someone one day and it's gonna change shit. But you're better than this."
"Than what?"
"Than ditching your friends for a girl." He nods to his customer, now moving back to his suite. "You barely know her. How do you know she's worth it?"
"I do."
"And if you're wrong?"
"Guess I'm not telling you about it." I fold my arms.
"Fuck, you're stupid." He shakes his head. "Go home. Go to her. Whatever. Gym's off today. Gym's off for the immediate future."
"Dean, come on."
"Dean, what? You're gonna throw me some scraps? No thanks." He turns, shakes his head, saunters back to his suite.
Leighton presses her palms against the counter.
"You think he's right?" I ask.
She stares at her coffee cup. "You really found your sister high in your apartment?"
"Yeah."
She presses her lips together. "Why didn't you tell him?"
"I never tell anyone shit." And I don't fucking enjoy the way Leighton is staring at me right now. With all that pity in her eyes.
"I get it, Walker. I've been infatuated before. You can't get enough of them. You think it's never going to end."
"You saying it is?"
"The honeymoon ends, yeah. She might be the one. You might be forever. I hope so. She's cool and smart, and you deserve someone like that. But the infatuation… it's normal for you to forget your friends for a while. To get all wrapped up in them. But Dean—I'm pretty sure you and Ryan are the only people he trusts."
"Maybe."
"And it's not like Ryan is pouring his heart out over drinks."
"Yeah." Ryan is about as tight-lipped as it gets.
"The last few weeks, you've been different. In the clouds. Ignoring everybody here."
"Maybe."
"No. Definitely." She slides off her stool. "You don't have to apologize to me. I understand. Fuck, how I understand. But a girl's never come between you and Dean. And with Ryan… you can see why he's worried."
"Maybe."
"Your life. Do what you want."
"Doesn't always feel like it."
She tosses her empty cup in the trash can under the counter. "Your sister really check out of rehab early?"
"Yeah." I'm not sure how much of that story Leighton knows. I'd like to keep it to a minimum.
"That sucks. I'm sorry."
"Thanks."
"You want to talk about it?"
"I'll give you one guess."
I call Iris as soon as I get home.
Her voice is enough to push the clouds in my head away. But it's temporary. I need more. I need my head clear.
I know just the place.
I text her.
Walker: Meet me somewhere Saturday.
Iris: What's in it for me?
Walker: My beautiful face.
Iris: That's it?
Walker: Yeah.
Iris: I'm in.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Walker
"You're evil." Iris throws her hand over her eyes.
"I know."
"Possibly even the devil." She steps into the shade. Her eyes find mine. "Look how empty it is?" She nods to the parking lot. Three out of two dozen spaces are full. "And that." She nods to the white sky. "It's a sign from God that we're supposed to be inside."
"There are places where the sky looks like that all winter."
"Sounds awful. Let's never go there."
I laugh. "What if they have great coffee?"
"Sounds wonderful. Let's drive there right now." She moves closer. Slides her hand into my front pocket. "You look good."
"You too."
She shakes her head. "I look tired."
"Yeah." I slide my arm around her waist. Pull her body into mine. "But still gorgeous."
She looks up at me with those blue eyes.
I press my forehead to hers. I want to breathe in every ounce of her. I want to erase every other thought in my head.
Her eyelids flutter together.
She rises to her tiptoes, slides her arm around my neck, presses her lips to mine.
She tastes good, like coffee and sugar.
She always tastes like coffee and sugar.
She pulls back with a sigh. "I guess we should do this thing."
"You can admit you want to."
"I want to finish and get coffee."
"You want to ride—"
"You."
I laugh. "My board."
"Your cock." Her cheeks flush. "Did I really say that?"
"Yeah."
"It's early. My brain isn't working yet."
"I'm gonna get you up early again."
"Not worth it."
Incredibly worth it. She's adorable tired. "The water will wake you up."
She groans with agony. But her lips still curl into a smile.
I offer my hand.
She takes it, follows me onto the sand, strips to her swimsuit—fuck does she look good in that deep purple bikini—and pulls her wetsuit over it.
I change, grab a rental board, meet her on the sand. The sky is white, cloudy. It casts a soft glow over the deep blue-green water. It makes the world feel still. Peaceful. Calm.
The ocean is the same blue as Iris's eyes.
It's beautiful.
Perfect.
She looks from the board to me. "You're going to make me do more push-up things."