“You have more than you probably realize. Do you feel up to watching a movie at my cabin? Or would you rather us leave you alone?”
As much as George liked the idea of spending two hours with guys his age, he was exhausted. “I doubt I’ll be awake longer than another hour. Can I get a rain check on the movie?”
“Definitely.”
“Please don’t be a stranger this week,” Shawn said. “Robin and Levi might not be blood related but they are brothers. Levi’s been different since he met you. Happier. I hope you’ve been happier, too.”
The pair didn’t wait for George to reply; they rose as a unit and left the guesthouse. George stared at some random spot on the wall for a while, turned around by the conversation. By all the things Miles and Shawn hadn’t said but had assumed about him and Levi. And it didn’t bother him as much as he expected it to, because he was in a safe place. Clean Slate Ranch was safe, just like the place he lived was safe. Maybe the wider world wasn’t but he was still experimenting with the wider world. Dipping his toes into it.
One day George would be the man he was always supposed to be. It might take some time but he’d get there. And he’d have friends to help him along the way.
* * *
Burt led the evening walk, and he explained that during the summer months they often saw a spectacular sunset. Levi had seen plenty of amazing sunsets in his life, in dozens of different states, but he had to admit Garrett had some of the most beautiful he’d ever seen. Robin had shown Levi his Instagram account and Levi admired the hundreds of sunsets Robin had photographed in tribute to Xander. It had been such a lovely gesture, and Levi had made one of them his phone’s background. The sky had been a gorgeous swirl of purples and reds—two of Xander’s favorite colors.
He walked a bit away from the other guests, enjoying the crisp night air without making conversation. His thoughts were filled with George and their afternoon together. Sex with George had been different from any of the other sex he’d had in the past, and not because George was a virgin and still figuring himself out. He’d felt genuinely seen and accepted by the younger man in ways he’d never experienced with a partner before. Like he had more to offer than a pretty face and washboard abs. He had come close to something similar with Grant, which was why they’d been together so long before imploding.
Everything about George was special, and Levi wanted to hold on for as long as he could. Do things with George and not just in bed. He wanted to romance him and that wasn’t Levi’s best event, but he’d try. For all that he’d stopped dreaming of a future with someone by his side, Levi could see flashes of it with George. But saying anything about it this soon in their relationship might scare George off. Be too big for him to handle.
This nebulous future also scared Levi in its own way. He’d bought a house he could take with him because he enjoyed the nomadic lifestyle. Being able to travel whenever he wanted. After living on the road for his entire life, could he actually settle down in one place? Put down real roots? Or would his wandering spirit always tug him elsewhere?
He had no idea, so he’d keep those feelings close for now.
He wanted to talk to Robin about them but it could wait for another day. Once the group circled back to the guesthouse, Levi went upstairs to his room. George was asleep in his bunk, on his left side facing the room. Only a tiny bit disappointed, Levi brushed his teeth and changed into flannel pajama pants—the room was a bit chilly tonight—and a T-shirt. He played a game on his phone until sleepy, and then settled in.
Creaking springs and thrashing woke him at some point, and Levi sat upright. Moonlight showed him George moving around in his bed, and a few soft whimpers made his heart hurt. Levi slipped out of bed and over to George’s bunk. “Hey, wake up, you’re okay.”
George cried out as he came awake, and he blinked dumbly up at Levi for a few seconds. Then he launched himself into Levi’s arms, breathing hard, fine tremors racing through his entire body. Levi held him tight, one hand cupped protectively around the back of his neck.
“You’re okay, I’ve got you.”
“I fucking hate nightmares,” George whispered, his voice a bit raspy. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“Shush, it’s fine. It got you out of your nightmare faster.” He rubbed gentle circles on George’s back. “Do you remember what it was about?”
“Adrian, as usual. He’s my bogeyman.”
Levi hated that George had nightmares about his former coach, especially knowing the way the man had behaved this past summer. Maybe Adrian’s reputation as a coach had been trashed by George quitting, but Adrian had ruined George’s life and sense of safety. As much as Levi tried not to hold grudges anymore, he truly wanted to see Adrian punished for still being inside George’s head.
George pulled back, blue eyes glistening but also determined. “It was about the night he came to the apartment and hit me. Only Orry was there this time and Adrian started attacking him. I couldn’t move to save him. All I could do was scream but I wasn’t making any sounds. Just a whimper.”
“You’re okay now.” Levi rubbed their noses together. “Orry’s fine.”
“He knows where I live.”
“Yes, you live in a house full of neighbors who will call the cops if he tries to come inside again. And he’d be a complete idiot to try. He has nothing to gain from seeing you again.” Not that obsessive stalkers needed reasons to see their target again and again. Levi had no personal experience with being stalked—Grant had just been a vengeful creep—but he’d heard the stories about Miles’s abusive ex last year. Miles being stalked all the way to the ranch and physically attacked.
“I hope you’re right.” George pressed his forehead into his shoulder. “Thank you. I feel a lot better with you here.”
Levi ran his fingers through George’s golden hair. “Do you have nightmares a lot?”
“No. Not very often. Usually, it’s because something...well, triggers it is kind of a loaded way to say it, but yeah. Something happens. Reminds me of the bad stuff.”
“Was it that moment you had after our first shower?”
George nodded. “Still not your fault, though. It’s all in my head.”
“I accept that.”
“Hey.” He sat up straight. “I know you say you accept it, but do you believe it? Do you believe me when I say it wasn’t you or anything you did?”
“Yes.” Levi had asked for George’s trust; he would offer his in return, no questions. “I believe you. I just hate that you’re still hurting over something you can’t talk to me about. I hope one day you will.”