“I don’t mind picking you up. I’ll double-check the exact time of dinner and text you. And if you want to spend the night, that’s okay, too.” It was a bold comment for Levi but he didn’t regret it. Two hours of driving to bring his boyfriend to Christmas dinner was no hardship but he truly hoped George would want to spend more time with him and the cats.
“I’ll, um. Let you know?”
The way he phrased it as a question was intensely adorable. “Of course, and no pressure at all. It’s just an idea, if you’re game. And even if all we do is share my bed, that’s fine. I want everything between us to always be consensual.”
George made a soft noise. “Because of how Grant betrayed you?”
“That’s part of it.” And I am not going into the rest of it today. “But I’ve always been a fan of enthusiastic consent. Only what you agree to. Heck, I’ll sleep on the couch if you want to stay over and sleep in the bed, just so we have more time to spend together.”
“That’s actually kind of romantic. You sleeping on the couch. I liked how we slept the last night at the ranch, all close together. But I, uh, like I said I’ll let you know what I want.”
Levi fought back a tiny nugget of disappointment. “Of course. No pressure ever. This is our relationship, and we’ll go at the pace that’s right for us.”
“I didn’t say that because I’m scared of spending the night with you, Levi. We spent six nights together in a small room, and I always felt safe. But that was also in a house full of other people. You live in a clearing with no one else in sight.”
“I hear you and understand.” He didn’t completely but this was George’s truth, and he’d listen and absorb. “I promise you’re safe alone with me but I do hear you.”
“I know you do. Even though we aren’t talking in person, I can see the reassurances in your eyes. I’m excited to see you on Christmas Day.”
Levi fought a tiny nugget of disappointment that they wouldn’t see each other again until the end of the week but that was part of dating someone long distance. And even if they didn’t see each other in person, they may still “see” each other with their phone apps during the week. He hoped so. He missed George’s smile and wide blue eyes.
“I’m excited, too,” Levi said. “And call or text me anytime. I don’t have any big plans leading up to Christmas Day other than tasting Shawn’s cookies.”
George laughed. “Why does that sound like a euphemism?”
“It’s literal.” He explained the cookie tradition.
“That’s really cool. A fun way to spend the holidays with your partner. Just like Miles and Reyes going camping. Did Lucky’s have any kind of traditions?”
“A few. On Christmas, we did up a big dinner for everyone who was wintering with us. Some people had other family to get to, but a lot of folks are like the ranch hands here. This is their home and their found family.”
“I’m glad places like that exist to take in strays like you and Slater. He opened up a bit about his past to me and Orry, and I don’t know what you know so that’s all I’ll say. But Clean Slate was a soft spot for him to land until he met Derrick and learned to craft.”
“I don’t know either man at all, but I’m glad they found each other. Everyone who wants one deserves someone special.”
George let out a long, low breath. “Yeah. Anyway, I won’t keep you from your friends any longer. I’ve got work to get back to. Getting ahead means more time off leading up to Christmas and beyond.”
“Enjoy your porn.”
He laughed. “Talk to you later.”
“Bye.” Levi reluctantly put his phone in his back pocket, a bit adrift after hearing George’s voice again. But they’d be together again on Christmas, and that was a gift. “Thank you for putting George in my life,” he said to the bright winter sky. “Just when I needed him.”
He went back inside to join the others, excited for what the rest of the week would bring.
Chapter Nineteen
George was freaking out a little bit on the ride to meet up with Levi, which was kind of ridiculous for two reasons.
One, he’d just had a fantastic Christmas morning with Orry and their grandparents. George had hugged them for the first time in years. They’d shared small presents, talked about all kinds of things, and Orry even showed off photos of Zoey. George kept Levi under wraps for now, unsure how his grandparents would feel about him being gay. That was a reveal for another time, not their first holiday as a quartet in years.
Two, Orry was driving him to the same rest stop for an afternoon dinner with near-strangers without the buffer of his twin. But he’d have Levi there, and that was everything. Still. Strange freak-out happening, and he did his best to hide it from Orry. He didn’t want Orry to change his mind about having dinner with Zoey’s family out of guilt over George’s anxiety. He could do this.
I need to do this.
A few days ago, George had done some online research, and he’d found a worksheet of coping skills for anxiety. The progressive muscle relaxation was a favorite but it would have been a bit too obvious with Orry right there. Challenging his thoughts and fears seemed to be working, as his stress levels went down a fraction.
“You still feel okay about this?” Orry asked as they neared the truck stop. “Staying over?”
“Yes.” His voice wobbled a bit. Mentally, he was great with this but something else—emotional, maybe?—was nervous. He’d napped with Levi in his bed but never slept over with a guy somewhere this remote. He believed Levi with his whole heart about respecting what George would and wouldn’t want. No, this nervousness was rooted in his past with Adrian and the way he’d disrespected George’s boundaries.
“And I’m looking forward to spending time with Levi’s friends,” he continued. “Really spending time, not standing off to the side like at Thanksgiving. I’ve been to the cabin, so it’s not a completely strange place, and I saw a lot of the other guests at the ranch last week. I promise, if I start to get overwhelmed, I will call you.”
But I don’t think I will because Levi will be with me.
In only a few weeks, Levi had become his dearest friend, other than Orry. They’d texted frequently during the week, spoken on the phone every day, and even Skyped a few times. They talked about important things, goofy things, and everything in between. Levi loved telling him stories about Lucky’s, and he spun vivid pictures of the men, women, and horses he’d worked with. So many good memories of his entire life, up until Xander died.