I know that I’m not getting out of the conversation that Devin wants to have. But I did put it off, so that way the conversation could be had while we were at home and not at his parents, in the middle of the event or hell in the middle of mistakenly making out.
Twenty minutes later, I’ve come out of my bedroom and into the living room and Devin isn’t anywhere in sight. I can hear the voices from the hallway beyond the front door and fight putting my ear to the door to listen. Instead, I move to the couch and take a seat with a book in my lap. I’m too nervous to really read, but as soon as the door opens and slams closed, I have my eyes to the pages. He looks annoyed, but when I look up he offers me a small smile before he walks into the kitchen, and a moment later, returns with two glasses.
“My father wanted to me to tell you ‘hi’,” he smirks.
“I highly doubt that’s what he was saying, is everything okay?” I ask setting my book down.
“Just work stuff. He’s asking me to make more of an effort and to not be a slacker.” He sighs. “Can we continue our conversation?”
Devin hands me a glass of water and takes a seat a cushion away from me.
“You can’t have your cake and eat it too.” I reply setting my glass on a coaster.
“What was that then, we continue to have these ‘oops’ moments?” He looks at me with a blank expression.
“A mistake.”
“A mistake? Connie, this shouldn’t be this hard. I like you and I think that you like me too, in that way. It seems like anytime that we’ve stepped over the lines, it’s only for you, then you run away once you think it’s going to go further.”
“That’s not fair,” I shake my head.
“What are your honest thoughts on me being with someone else?” he sets his glass on the table in front of us.
While I pick at my cuticles. I mull over the question for a few moments. I look anywhere but at him, because I don’t want him to see the emotion that my eyes hold.
“Con?” he probes.
“Remember, this relationship has a plan. I’m sorry, I’m honestly not sure. Our relationship is not a real relationship.” I shake my head.
“But isn’t it?”
“You know what I’m talking about. I’m talking about a romantic relationship.”
“What if our relationship was?”
“Devin.” I pin him with a look.
“Constance.” He counters.
“A relationship anything more than what it currently is, would be blurring the lines of the relationship.”
“I think that every day is blurring the lines. We go to these events, we kiss, we continuously touch, it’s only when we come home that we go our separate ways in the means of a relationship. But then there’s the few times where we’ve kissed and then we’re still hanging out together, we just don’t sleep together.”
“And is that what you need? I thought that was what you would be getting from your” -cough- “extracurriculars.”
“I would give that up, hell I basically have aside from that one time the other day, and that wasn’t really anything significant, that was a blow job. I couldn’t go through with being with him, not when I’m thinking of someone else.”
I’m silent.
I’m not sure what to say to that.
“I’m just going to come out and say it, there’s no point in even hiding it. I didn’t want to sleep with him, because you were in the forefront of my mind. I would rather be making love to you, rather than fucking him.”
I’m silent again, and not just because I don’t know what to say, but because of what his statement implies.
What do I really want?
I look at him and his eyes are searching me, for any give of my thoughts and where I stand.
Should I just give in and see where this can take us?
Will I be hurt when this all ends, or grateful that we tried?
I lift my palm up and cup his face, as he leans into my hand.
I smile.
“Please don’t hurt me,” I whisper leaning closer to him.
“Never.” He promises closing the distance between us.
We’ve kissed so many times, but those have all been for show. This kiss is for us.
It’s slow and sensual. There’s no space between us on the couch anymore, our bodies are reactive, our hands are roaming, and our tongues are twisting. The kiss is exploratory, it’s soft and how a first kiss should be.
While it’s not a first kiss in the time we’ve known one another, it feels like it’s a first kiss right now.
We pull away from one another with him nipping at my lower lip. When our eyes connect, his are glazed and burning into my soul that I feel between my lips when he licks his upper lip and runs his tongue across the top of his teeth.
My breaths are shallow and I stand up, hold my hand out to him, and lead him toward the hallway that leads to the bedrooms. I pause outside my door, look back and him and decide against going inside, then move a down to his room.
Wordlessly, I drop his hand and then pull my sweatshirt over my head to drop onto the floor. I’m not wearing anything underneath, and when I turn to Devin, his nostrils flare and he steps forward. His hand lifts and cups my bare breast, the pad of this thumb brushes against my hardened nipple, before he lightly pulls at my nipple. I gently push him away to give me additional space and then grab my waistband and slowly move my shorts and panties down, baring myself fully to him. Devin watches each movement as I step out of my shorts. He takes the moment to pull his shirt over his head, a moment later, his pants are beside mine on the floor and we’re both naked, standing in front of one another, admiring each other.
“You are gorgeous,” he says.
I say nothing as I step forward and press myself up to him and place my hands on his shoulders.
We walk in tandem backwards until the back of my knees hit the bed and I fall backward. Devin hovers over me, his erect cock grazing against my center.
He leans down, presses himself against me, and brushes his lips against my collarbone, then up to my neck, across my jaw, and meets my lips.
“This means that there will be no one else?” I ask hesitantly.
“Only you, there will be only you.”
I lean up and kiss him, I add as much passion as possible, all the pent-up energy that I’ve felt melts away the past few weeks as his cock nudges my entrance.
“Condom.” I say against his lips.
“Condom.” He pulls away and his toned muscular body reaches across the mattress into a drawer next to his bed.
A moment later, my hand is gripping his waist with my other hand reaching over my head, pressing against the wall as he presses into me slowly. His hips pull back and then forward slowly until my body relaxes to him.
From under him, I writhe and melt into the mattress. The sensations are unlike anything that I’ve felt in a long time. My toes curl when he thrusts, and my body feels absent when he pulls out for even just a second. And the patterns stay consistent while we make love into the night.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Devin
She’s sleeping in my arms and I’m not about to deny that the past twenty-four hours hasn’t been completely unexpected. I don’t want to move, but I want to jump on my bed in excitement for how I feel at the moment.