He returns with a condom after leaning towards the dresser. I really don’t know how long we’ll use these. I’m certain we’ll be putting them to work until after we have the conversation about birth control.
As he starts to open the foil packet, I quickly snatch it away from him. Panic is evident in his eyes, but I quickly put him at ease when I finish opening the packet myself. I discard the wrapper off to the side, then slide down to get a better view of his hips. While licking my lips, I carefully roll the latex onto his beautiful erection. Once it’s in position, Drew immediately slides me back up, causing me to giggle at the sudden move.
“Have you fucked anyone since me?”
As soon as he says the words, I can tell that he instantly regrets them.
I quickly put him at ease. “No, I haven’t.”
He sags in relief. “Good. What about kiss?”
Oh—he’s going there? I sigh. “Drew…”
He frowns severely. “Who did you kiss? The Snake?”
“No. The Bullshitter.”
“Are you fucking serious?! Is he back in Portland?!”
I laugh, which causes him to smile. “He lives there. He’s a teacher.”
“Was that him talking in the background that one time when I called you?”
So, he did hear that. I mentally facepalm. “That was Jake.”
“What were you doing with Jake?”
“Drew, stop it,” I chuckle in frustration. “I am not with them. I’m with you. So, are you going to fuck me or what?”
Without warning, he pins my wrists to the bed and slides right into me. I cry out.
“Honey, I’m home,” he growls.
“Oh God!”
“You missed this?”
“Oh yes!”
“How much? Tell me.”
I know he’s taunting me when he thrusts even harder before I can get a word in edgewise.
“So…so much…”
“Like how?”
He pumps harder.
“Hungry!” I shout. “So hungry for it!”
“You want me to stuff your pussy?” he roars.
“Yes!”
“You want the whole buffet, baby?”
“Please!”
“You will never go hungry again.”
“Yes! Yes! Yes!” I beg at the top of my lungs. “Oh my God! Oh my fucking God!”
“Squeeze this dick with your tight wet cunt, beautiful. Squeeze it hard.”
I explode, screeching, but he doesn’t stop fucking me.
“Re—remember?” I stutter. “Remember you—you said at the drive-in that the condom was your lottery ticket?”
“Yes,” he grunts, still pumping hard.
I cry out in response. “Y—you played the lottery a few times. Did you win?”
He stills suddenly and stares me down.
I’m panting.
He’s panting.
“Fuck the lottery,” he croons. “I landed a gold mine when I found you.”
Before either of us can utter another sound, I seal his words with a kiss.
Drew
I can see my house from here as I stand on the rooftop at The St. Regis hotel. As guests continue to pour in, I either hug or shake hands with them before they make their way to their designated area.
“Congratulations!”
Thanks, I am getting the better end of the deal.
“Everything looks so beautiful!”
It was all her doing. I just wrote the check.
Once I get a break, I look over to one side of the aisle at those who were already seated when I got here. I spot two familiar faces.
Jake the Snake Barker.
Bobby the Bullshitter Fisher.
Thankfully, they each brought dates.
I am grateful I’m secure in my manhood, or else I wouldn’t have tolerated my future wife keeping in touch with these fools. Even so, I wish she would just fucking delete Facebook so these thirsty assholes would stop seeking her out.
Social media is both a blessing and a curse. For one, it makes me billions of dollars. Also, I do have Zuckerberg to thank for bringing my wife to me. It was Facebook that made her leave home that fateful July day for Carmel.
Facebook can go away now—at least in my household. Who needs it when we have Lifeography? By the way, any man who ever tries contacting my wife on any of my social media platforms will immediately be blocked. Or worse.
The past two years since Quen moved here have been heaven. After a year, I proposed to her at Thanksgiving in front of family. We had a huge dinner with a big spread over at our place. Quen’s father, Charlie was even able to make it out. He knew I’d be popping the question in advance since I reached out to him for his blessing.
“Hey, fuckface.”
I turn around and see my pain in the ass little brother standing there.
“I made you my best man, even though you’re the worst,” I say, ruffling up his combed hair.
“Eat a dick, Drewfus,” he laughs.
“Did Tanya come?” I ask, shifting tones.
He looks down first before looking up. “I haven’t seen her yet.”
Lil’ bro’s on again off again relationship with his girl has been a merry-go-round. I really feel for the guy. Austin is a good kid, and Tanya is a sweet girl.
“I’m sure she’ll come. Quen would be happy to see her.”
“So would I,” he remarks wistfully.
I pat him on the back.
“Keep your chin up. And don’t give up. I didn’t give up,” I say in encouragement. “Look at me now.”
“Quen is insane for marrying you. We’ve already established that.”
“She is.” I nod once.
“But seriously—congratulations, big bro,” Austin utters sincerely. “I’m happy for you. She’s one of a kind.”
“Most definitely.”
“And you’re a lucky asshole.”
“Duh.” I frown in jest.
“And you’re an old pervert. She’s my age, in case you forgot.”
Austin is back in full PITA mode. Pain in the ass.
“I don’t see age or color, Nitsua-san,” I preach.
Nitsua is what I used to call my kid brother all the time when we were growing up. It’s Austin backwards. I added ‘san’ to make it sound super Japanese. He loved that shit since he wanted to be a karate master so bad.
“When you head out to the limo for your honeymoon, Chris Hansen will be waiting.”
I flip him the bird, and he slaps my back and laughs hard before treading off. As soon as Austin clears the way, Charlie, my soon-to-be father-in-law steps up.
“Hey, son—hangin’ in there?”
A goofy smile takes over my face.
“Never mind,” he chortles. “Looks like you’re holding up just fine.”
“I’m about to marry the woman of my dreams.” I smile proudly. “Thanks for making her, by the way.”
Charlie snorts. “Well, Lisa did most of the work. She cooked her for about nine months. Fed her, combed her hair, and did all that other stuff. She’s the reason Quen stayed on the honor roll. She definitely got her brains from her mother.”
“I wish I could’ve met your wife,” I say dolefully.