“No,” I say too quickly, and his smile fades.
“You’re no fun.”
“You called me a liar.”
“Yeah, well, I was pissed.”
“I was just trying to help her—”
“You were supposed to be protecting me, Callahan. Not helping Rylie,” he reminds me, and I go quiet.
He’s right. I’m wrong.
“I’m sorry,” I tell him.
Slowly he turns to face me once more, and it looks like the towel has loosened around his waist. Not good. “Did you just apologize to me?”
I nod, swallowing hard. There’s nothing else for me to say.
“I accept your apology.” He sounds serious and he stands up straight, the towel loosening even more. I blink up at him, trying my best to not look at his waist and the towel, but I don’t think he realizes what I’m doing, or what’s happening. He’s wagging his finger at me like someone scolding their naughty child or pet. “You promise to keep your lips shut? For real this time?”
I nod, my lips clamped tightly together.
“Good.” He reaches for the haphazard knot on his side, undoing it with a quick flick of his fingers and flapping the towel open for the briefest second. I catch a glimpse of his hipbone, the smooth skin there, the very top of his hair-covered thigh. God. “I can see your nipples.”
A gasp escapes me and I look down at myself to see that the towel has come loose around my shoulders, my wet T-shirt exposed and clinging to my chest. I tuck the towel back into place, covering my very cold, very embarrassed nipples, and I want to die.
Just…
Die.
“They’re nice, by the way,” he continues, like we’re having a normal conversation. “I’ve always been more of a tit man.”
“I hate you,” I whisper miserably.
“No you don’t,” he says with a grin. Then he does the oddest thing.
Ash leans in and presses his cheek next to mine, his lips right at my ear. “Get inside before I do something stupid like kiss you.”
I run back into the house, his laughter chasing after me.
The next day at school, the rumors aren’t as rampant. Now they’re more along the lines of the cops are looking for Ash, he’s going to get arrested! Which I guess is maybe true? Three sheriff deputy patrol cars were spotted in the admin parking lot around third period, and one of the student office assistants overheard the conversation between the deputies and Mrs. Adney, our vice principal.
They were questioning her about Ash.
That particular detail scares me. Are we hiding a criminal at our house? Could my parents get in trouble? Could I get in trouble? I’m less than six months away from eighteen, so I’m practically an adult. No way do I want to go to jail for harboring a known criminal or whatever.
My imagination is clearly getting away from me, and I mentally tell myself to calm down. At lunch, Rylie actually joins us, which sucks since I planned on telling Kaya and Daphne a little bit of what was going on.
But maybe that turns out to be a good thing because then I keep my mouth shut and we talk about other things. Normal things. Like the fact that my brother’s going to play in Ash’s place at Friday night’s game. I didn’t even know that was happening, it’s Kaya’s boyfriend who tells me, not my own brother or father, and I think that surprises Jaden.
It surprises me too.
“They didn’t mention it?” he asks.
We’re sitting across from each other, Daphne next to me and Rylie on the other side of her, Kaya pressed against his right side, her arm through his and her head on his shoulder. They are the epitome of the perfect high school relationship. They’ll probably get married within the next few years too. I wouldn’t doubt it.
Ash and I are the epitome of the toxic high school relationship. The back and forth, the getting with other people when we really want to be with each other—God, I don’t even know if that last part is true—and how we constantly argue. It’s not normal.
I really, really want normal.
“They’ve been busy,” I tell Jaden, and he nods, accepting my answer.
Rylie keeps trying to talk with me about Ash, and I don’t say a word. In fact, I’m constantly trying to change the subject, as does Daphne, who I know is doing it for my benefit. But it’s almost like Rylie trying to force me to admit Ash is still at my house, and she mentions more than once that he’s barely texted her since everything happened.
That’s not my fault, and that’s not my story to tell, so I remain quiet.
In class, I can’t concentrate. My mind drifts to what Ash said last night. What he did. What I saw. How he affects me. How I try my hardest to deny it. He’s frustrating, everything about our situation is frustrating, and deep down, there’s a secret part of me that wishes he would just break up with Rylie so I could have him all to myself.
Our timing is never right.
Wednesdays we don’t have cheer practice, so I’m home early. Right after school. Dad brings Jake home from football practice, and Ava is at dance class, so she’ll also ride home with Dad and Jake. When I pull into the driveway, the garage doors are closed, which usually means no one is home, and my thoughts are confirmed when I enter the silent house.
I realize quick it’s not actually silent at all. I can hear someone talking, very, very faintly. And I think it’s Ash.
Carefully I set my backpack at the base of the stairwell so I can grab it later before I head up to my room, and make my way toward the other side of the house. It’s all bare floors throughout our home, and footsteps can sometimes echo, so I’m creeping carefully like a stalker, praying he doesn’t hear me.
So I can spy on him.
I’m at my lowest point, I realize. Spying on this boy who makes me so angry, yet also fills me with this uncontrollable lust I’ve never experienced before. But I’m not stopping myself. I’m going to listen in on this conversation he’s having, and I sort of don’t care if I’m crossing any boundaries.
He constantly crosses my boundaries, so it’s only fair, right?
I’m in the hallway, dangerously close to his bedroom door, which is partially open, when I can hear him talking. “Ry. Baby. Stop crying. I can’t take it.”
My heart feels like it’s shriveling inside my chest. He just called her baby.
So gross.
Now I sound like I’m mentally reverting to a thirteen-year-old.
He remains quiet, and I swear I can hear her muffled voice, which sounds very upset. Like she might be crying/raging at him over something.
“I already told you, I can’t have you come over here,” he finally says, his voice lower than usual. It’s not as raspy today, and I’m hoping that means whatever damage that asshole who choked him did is healing. “It’s not my place to just invite you. I don’t live here. Besides, I’m trying to lay low.”
My parents would probably let her come over. I’m thinking this has more to do with Ash than with him imposing on our family.
“Yeah, I miss you too.” He almost sounds bored when he says it.
Maybe that’s wishful thinking on my part.
I also wish I could hear what she’s saying.
Then again, I don’t.