He stares at me like I’m the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, and it feels so good, so right lying with him like this. Our bodies still connected, our hearts pounding. I will never, ever forget this night. The game, kissing by the lake, laughing and eating with my family, having sex for the first time. All with Ash.
The boy who has my heart.
Completely.
We lie together for a little while longer, but then he reluctantly pulls away, grabbing a tissue from the box on my bedside table and peeling off the condom, wrapping it up in the Kleenex. “I’ll find a place to toss this,” he tells me, clutching it in his hand, and I’m thankful he thought of it. We have to get rid of the evidence. If my parents found out…
I don’t want to think about that. Not now.
He throws his clothes back on and I watch him, regret filling me. I wish he could stay in my bed for a little while longer, but that would just be weird, right? And if my parents caught us, that would be the end of our relationship. I can’t risk that.
We’ve already risked enough.
“I’m going back to my room.” He leans over me and kisses me slowly. Deeply. With languid sweeps of his tongue that leaves my body tingling and wanting more. “Good night.”
I catch his hand, stopping him from leaving. “You really have to go?”
“Autumn.” My heart expands when he calls me by my name. He never says it enough. “I wish I could stay, but you know I can’t.”
“I know. I’ll miss you.”
“You’ll see me tomorrow.”
“It can’t come soon enough.”
“You’re being kind of ridiculous,” he teases.
“This is what you do to me. You leave me in a ridiculous state.” I grin up at him and he kisses me yet again, like he can’t help it.
“Good night,” he murmurs against my lips, and I smile.
“Night.”
“Love you,” he whispers, and my skin goes tight.
“I love you too.” Oh God, if I don’t watch it I could cry from pure happiness.
This is the best night of my life.
Thirty-Seven
Ash
I smell the smoke before I see it, hazy yet visible, thin black strips of it drifting in the hallway that leads to the guest room. Right at the moment I notice it, a smoke alarm starts to go off, the incessant blaring making me cover my ears. I run toward my room, the tissue-wrapped condom falling out of my hand and onto the floor, forgotten.
I come to a stop at the doorway, flickering orange flames preventing me for going inside.
“Holy shit,” I mutter under my breath, looking left, then right, wondering if they have a fire extinguisher in the house, and where it might be. I decide to look in the laundry room, which is closer than the kitchen.
And that’s where I find it, tucked into a cabinet above the washer. I pull it out and run back toward the room, fumbling with the valve so I can hit the trigger. Footsteps sound behind me, and I glance over my shoulder to see Drew running toward me, clad in only a pair of black sweatpants, his forehead creased in concern.
“What the hell is going on?” he yells, and I point at the flames.
“Fire!” My fingers curl around the trigger and I spray as hard as I can, desperate to put out the fire, panic racing through me. All I can think is how this is going to ruin everything. They’re going to think I did something stupid and possibly blame me for the fire, since pretty much every bad thing that happens to me is somehow my own damn fault. Then they’ll kick me out. I’ll be on my own, in the streets, left adrift.
I fucked everything up, and I didn’t even do this.
Drew leaves me for what feels like five minutes but was probably no longer than thirty seconds, returning with another extinguisher clutched in his hands. He pulls the tab and starts spraying along with me, the both of us focusing on the bed. The flames are the worst there, and I wonder if that’s where it started.
I also wonder how it started. I haven’t smoked since I got here, so I know a discarded cigarette didn’t start this. That was always my fear when I was younger. Mom always fell asleep on the couch, a cigarette dangling from her fingers, from her mouth…
I hear sirens in the distance and realize a fire engine has arrived, thank God. What we’re doing isn’t going to put this out.
“Hey!” Drew nods toward the door that leads outside. “Go out there and tell them what’s going on.”
He trusts me enough to do that? “O-okay.” I do as he says, running outside to tell the firefighters, who are hopping off the engine, where the fire is, but someone is already there. Talking to them.
Squinting into the darkness, I can see it’s a girl. She’s tall and thin with long legs, and she has long hair that’s dyed bluish green. She turns to look at the house, our gazes catching, and my heart stops.
Is that…
Rylie?
What the hell?
I run over to the firefighters, ignoring Rylie completely as I tell them where the fire is. I can’t think about why she’s here right now, or why. We’ve got other shit to handle, like preventing the house from burning to the ground.
They hook their hoses to the side of the fire engine and then they’re following me to the door that leads to the guest room, one of them sending me a warning look as I was about to go inside with them.
“Stay here,” he says, his voice firm. “We’ve got it.”
I watch as Drew waves them over and takes over, and I try to catch his eye, get his attention so he’ll come talk to me, but he’s too busy talking to the guy who told me to wait outside.
Turning, I watch the house, my gaze scanning frantically, making sure it’s not on fire anywhere else. I’m breathing heavily, my chest aches, and when I try to clear my throat, that sends me into a coughing fit, most likely caused by the smoke I inhaled earlier.
“You all right?” A feminine voice asks me.
Nodding, I keep coughing, unable to answer her with words. Thank God the fire hasn’t spread. I think of Autumn, how I just left her room, and I’m so damn grateful she’s okay.
But where is she? No way can they all still be in the house.
“Looks like it’s contained to just the one room,” one of the firefighters says after she finishes speaking on the radio that’s hooked to her belt. She’s standing with Rylie, who has a thin blanket draped over her shoulders, and she’s visibly shivering. “Are you okay, hon?” the firefighter asks Rylie.
She nods, tears streaking down her cheeks. I stare at her incredulously, my mind trying to put together what she’s doing here. None of the answers are good.
“Rylie,” I start, and she lifts her head, her eyes going wide when she sees me, as if she didn’t notice me standing by her for the last couple of minutes.
Weird.
“Oh, thank God! There you are! I was so worried. Once the fire started and I couldn’t see you, I thought…I thought I lost you.” She fling herself at me, the blanket sliding off her body, and I realize she’s dressed for bed, wearing a thin nightshirt that hits her right at the knees.
I set her away from me, shaking my head. “What are you doing here?”