“If you think you are taking my kids out of this country you are very much mistaken.” He is boiling over with anger, I had never seen him this angry.
“What are you going on about?” I asked through gritted teeth. My patience wearing very thin.
“I’m saying I will fight you for custody before my kids leave American soil. There ain’t a judge around here that wouldn’t give it to me either, if it meant they stayed in America.” He told me arrogantly, if he wanted my attention, he now had it, I whipped myself around but he had stood up by this time and I was now face to face with him.
Before I knew what I was doing I raised my hand and slapped him, full force around the face. His face turned on impact and he glared back at me, for as long as I live I don’t think I’ll forget the sound it made or the looked that crossed over his face.
“You bastard, you fucking wanker. I actually fucking hate you at this moment in time.” I turned on my heels and headed over towards the bed, zipping the suitcase closed aggressively, I lifted it down and carried it out of the room. All the kids were downstairs. He followed me and continued his verbal assault on me.
“I’m getting pretty used to seeing the back of you as you once again walk out on me, it’s getting old now.” I turn around to face him, I’m at the top of the stairs at this point.
“I’m doing it regularly because you’re being a dick most of the time.” I hear Annett and Emmett approaching the bottom of the stairs.
“What the hell is going on up there?” Annett shouts up, the boys are both crying. Kenni stalks up to me and looks into my eyes and I can’t help but register the pain that consumes him.
“I’m telling you one last time, the second you walk out that door. I’m on the phone to my lawyer. I’ll be getting an injunction on you leaving the country with my children. If you try to leave the country with them I will file charges for child abduction.” I look up to the man who I love with all my heart and can’t believe how he is treating me and speaking to me, I still don’t know where things have gone so drastically wrong with us. Reaching up to touch his cheek, I briefly run my fingers down it.
“Bye babe.” I whisper before turning on him and carrying the suitcase down the stairs, I pass his parents who are clearly very concerned.
“I’m sorry I can’t put up with him anymore, I’m staying in town for a bit and you’re welcome to see the kids any time you want.” I proceed out to my car and I hear Annett asking Kenni what he had said to me.
After I had loaded the suitcase I came in for Betsy, taking her out of Annett’s arms was obviously a wakeup call for Kenni as he came storming down the stairs after me charging outside.
“Where are you going to stay then?” He asks, calmer than he was five minutes ago.
“I’ve rented a house in town.” He seems taken aback by this.
“You’re not going home?” His family are all out on the porch watching us now.
“THIS IS MY HOME KENNI! Whether I’m with you or not, this is my home. I gave up my life and family to make a life for myself here, with you and our children. With or without you we are here to stay, get that through your head will you.” He has gone quiet now and I walk past him calling for the boys, who come straight to me, I look up to see Annett and Annabelle crying.
“I’ll only be in town, you’re welcome anytime, I just can’t live like this anymore, it’s not fair on me and it’s definitely not fair on the children.” Both of them nod their heads in understanding and I head over to my car to get the boys strapped in, the puppy strolls out and jumps in the car himself following the boys, great I wasn’t intending on taking him but I guess I am now.
“Luci darlin talk to me.” Kenni pleads with me.
“It’s too late for that, I asked you to talk to me weeks ago.” I look up to Jed and speak to him.
“Jed could you bring the travel cot and anything else I’ve forgotten please, I need to go now.”
“Yeah I’ll be along in a minute sweetheart.” He looks at me full of sympathy.
“Please darlin, don’t leave me again, don’t take my kids away from me.” Kenni pleads with me and the tears I see in his eyes nearly break me, the children have obviously picked up on the atmosphere as they are now all crying, but I need to do it, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to see in my life.
“I’m only going into town, I think we need some time apart and some space for a while to deal with everything and get our heads straight.” I can’t look at him anymore because I know I’ll crack and end up staying and for the future of our marriage I need to leave here and him right now. I jump into my mini-van and start the engine, put it into drive and put my foot down.
I make the mistake of looking out the rear view mirror and watch my big, strong man drop to his knees as I leave him in my wake. Tears fall down my cheeks the whole way down the long drive and all the way to my destination.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Everything is a mess, the kids are unsettled in the new house, it’s been two days since I left him and he hasn’t come to see us, that hurts I’ll be honest. Annett and Annabelle have been frequent visitors, they tell me how Kenni is struggling to cope and has taken to drinking a bottle of whiskey every night, I try not to feel guilty but my heart is hurting for him.
Even Emmett and Jed have both been to see us a couple of times. The boys keep asking for “da-da” and don’t understand why they can’t see him. He eventually makes an appearance at my door and becomes irate when I won’t let him in.
He is clearly drunk and looks like hell. I call Jake to retrieve him from the front of my house, which he does. We don’t see him for a whole week after that, his whole family are worried about him.
At 9 o’clock one evening someone knocks on my door, all the children are in bed, looking through the peep hole I see the familiar frame of Kenni, I open the door a little way to see what kind of state he’s in and I’m surprised to see him stone cold sober, still looking a bit rough but he’s sober.
I open the door wide to let him in. I’m surprised when he picks me up, kicks the door closed and carries me over and pins me against the wall, he looks deeply into my eyes and then kisses me senseless giving me everything that he has. It feels so good to have my husband back. He eventually pulls away and lowers me back down.
“Darlin I’m so fucking sorry. I was an asshole I see that now, please forgive me.” He picks me up and carries me over to the sofa, sitting down with me on his lap.
“I’m still trying to work out where things went wrong and why you stopped talking to me.” He considers what I said before replying.
“When the boys came back, I watched you pull away from me for a while and I knew that you had started blaming me again, I know I brought her into our home and I’ll never forgive myself for that but I knew you started blaming me again. I guess I backed away because I thought you would follow your instincts and leave me which I thought would mean going back to England with the kids.” I’m following so far so he takes my silence as understanding and carries on.
“I guess it bugs me that I will always have it hanging over my head that you could leave me at any time and take them back to England, I suppose ignoring you was my way of preparing myself for the worst. I don’t know if you realise how much I love my children Luci, I would be broken if you did that to me. I won’t fight you if you did because I’ve been an asshole, but I would never recover from it. I have never loved anyone or anything in my life as much as I love you and our children. You are my everything.” I can’t help but kiss him, he pulls back before speaking again.