Cora sits up, her cheeks staining pink, and begins to move herself to the edge of the bed as she drags the blankets with her. “I don’t want to talk about that, Dean.”
What the fuck?
“Seriously?”
“Yes. Seriously.”
I watch her collect her discarded clothes from the floor, slipping the tank top over her head and looking around for her bottoms. I do the same, pulling on my boxers and jeans as my heart clenches in my chest with rising emotions. “You can’t just pretend that didn’t happen.”
Cora glances at me over her shoulder, just briefly, and steps into her cotton shorts. “I’m going to hop in the shower. I forgot to pick up more dog food yesterday, and the store opens at nine.”
Ouch.
I gape at her, standing on the other side of the bed, shirtless and gutted. “Cora… you’re killing me.”
She falters mid-reach for her cell phone charging by the side of her bed. Her shoulders heave up and down with a weighted sigh, and she sits down, tugging her hair back with her fingers. “We weren’t even… safe.”
My fingers curl around my hips as I stare at the back of her head. I can’t argue with that—she’s absolutely right. “I’m sorry. That was my fault.” I approach her with hesitant feet, coming up beside her on the bed. “Are you on the pill?”
“Yes, but… I’ve missed a few doses. I’ve been forgetful with a lot of things lately, and I wasn’t expecting…” She sighs again, and this time, tears spring to her eyes. “It’s my fault, too. I should have stopped it from getting that far.”
I scratch my cheek. “I’ll give you money for the morning after pill. Just in case.”
Cora swallows, sparing me another quick glance. “Are you…?”
“Am I what?” My eyebrows go up. “Clean?”
She nods.
Normally, this question wouldn’t offend me—it’s a responsible question to ask your sexual partner, albeit, a little late. But this is Cora. She knows I was with her sister for the last fifteen years. Plus, I got tested after our captivity and everything came back clean, so I know that fuckhead didn’t give her anything. “Of course I’m clean. Do you think I cheated on Mandy?”
A shrug.
A fucking shrug.
“Wow. I never thought you actually believed that shit.” I spin away from her, trying to hide the hurt creeping onto my face. “I was faithful throughout our entire relationship, Cora. Even when we separated for those few months back in college. I’ve literally only had sex with one person my whole life… until you.”
I turn back to see tears quietly tracking down her cheeks as she keeps her gaze fixed in front of her. “My tests came back normal, too. Shockingly. They sent me home with antibiotics just in case, but…” Cora ducks her head as she lets out a breath. “This is such a mess.”
She pushes her hair back, revealing multiple pink splotches along her neck, along with a colorful bruise from where my mouth had been. I swallow. “Yeah.”
“I’m a horrible human being. Mandy will never forgive me for this.”
A wave of guilt pinches my gut as reality starts seeping in. One week after breaking off a fifteen year commitment to Mandy, I sleep with her sister. There’s not a single explanation we could come up with that would make this sound even remotely acceptable.
Then again, there’s not a single explanation that would adequately describe our relationship either. Our dynamic. Our history. Our connection. None of it’s normal; none of it’s relatable—all of it’s confusing as fuck.
I take a seat beside her, and Cora’s breath catches when my bare arm grazes hers. “Corabelle, I’m sorry for not being stronger. I hate that you’re feeling like this, and I hate that it’s my fault. I just… I’m fucking crazy about you.” She tips her head to me, her eyes swelling. “I can’t turn it off. And I can’t stop caring about you just because the circumstances aren’t ideal.”
“It’s more than ‘not ideal’, Dean. It’s wrong. It’s beyond the realm of appropriate.”
“But it’s real, and it’s intense, and it’s swallowing us whole.”
“Is it, though?” Cora inhales a shuddering breath. “Is it real?”
“What?” I frown, thrown by the question. “Of course it is.”
She looks away, fisting the hem of her tank top between sweaty palms. “Maybe this was simply born out of trauma and survival. We think we still need each other even though we made it out. We wouldn’t be having this conversation if we didn’t go through what we went through.”
“I disagree,” I say, shaking my head. “Maybe not right now, but… I think this was inevitable.”
“No. When the trauma fades away, we fade away. This is temporary.”
My anger flickers. “That’s not what you said last night when I was inside you. You said you’ve always been mine.”
Cora sets her jaw, her cheeks flaming. She rises to her feet and storms away. “I was in the heat of the moment, Dean. I can’t believe you brought that up.”
I stand to follow, grabbing my shirt off the floor and tugging it over my head in the process. “Why not? You said it.”
She whirls around with a fresh set of emotions ready to fly. “I can’t do this!”
“Cora…”
“No! Don’t try to change my mind or feed me that fairytale, always-meant-to-be bullshit. You were engaged to my sister as of a week ago. You were with her for fifteen years.” Her tears spill out, catching on the corners of her mouth. “Then you dumped her for me, and now I have to live with that.”
I reach for her hands, but she yanks them away. “I already told you. Ending my relationship with Mandy had nothing to do with you. Or us.”
“Lies.”
“Stop, Cora. You could walk away from me right now and tell me it’s over, and I wouldn’t go back to Mandy. It ended because we ended. You don’t change that.”
Cora stares at me with flushed skin and crossed arms. She nods her head slowly, deliberately, and pins her eyes on mine. “I guess we’ll see.” She takes a step back and drops her arms to her sides. “It’s over, Dean. I can’t do this to Mandy.”
She continues to walk backwards, away from me, and I shake my head with a bitter laugh. Unbelievable. I reach into my pocket, pulling a wad of cash out of my wallet as I pace over to her. I lean in close, then tug her wrist towards me and open her palm. “You probably should have thought about that before you fucked me.” I slap the money into her hand, trying to ignore the pain that flashes in her eyes. “For the pill.”
I grab my coat off the back of the couch, slip on my shoes, and slam the door shut behind me as I walk out of her house.
Morning fades to night, and I don’t hear from Cora all day.
I’ve been pissed off and resentful since I left her house, alternating between taking power naps to try and forget all the bullshit swimming through my head, and binging Netflix to try and distract me from all the bullshit swimming through my head.
So far, neither have worked. I’m plagued with bullshit.