Jackson keeps hold of my arm so that I don’t try to walk away again, his grip tight but restrained; I know the only way he’s going to release me is to hear him out or fight my way free. Given my options, I decide against the latter and wait for him to speak with my arms crossed, his fingers still gripping my bare skin.
“I need to know your involvement in Astor.”
And, we’re out of here.
I’m over this conversation and immediately try to snatch my arm free.
“Tell me about Astor, Emilia,” he shouts.
“Why?” I plead, heartbroken, hurt and terrified; the Astor mission haunts me more than thoughts of Jackson do.
“Because I had to bury my cousin and the only explanation for his death was some bullshit story the Corps fabricated,” he yells, his voice dangerous. “I looked into it; the mission report is fabricated to fuck and guess who’s name I saw listed as part of the Corps team involved? Did you kill my cousin?”
Probably, I think to myself and this time I don’t fight the tears that drip from my eyes. “I don’t know who your cousin is, so I don’t know if I’m responsible for his death. Astor was a bloodbath –”
“You’re damn right it was. He was a good man. What kind of crazy, murdering bitch have you become? I don’t recognize the person you’ve become and I’ll forever be grateful for the day you walked out of my life.”
His words feel like a physical blow. I slump against one of the desks nearest me and sob freely as he storms out. Jackson doesn’t give me a chance to explain that his cousin wasn’t a good man at all; his cousin was a monster.
With trembling hands, I open my small clutch and pull out my phone.
Jackson is right, the mission report for Astor is fabricated, but the lie is to protect him and like fuck will I let him damn me for it.
I scroll through my contacts until I find the name I need; Eric Grant – my former Commanding Officer.
Me: I need the file, asap. Someone with connections is snooping and won’t likely stop. Know you’re in town. I’m at the Ember.
Eric: I missed you too! I’m guessing the person in question is Smoak?
Me: Yeah. J’s cousin was there.
Eric: I know. We could do without a man of his means making trouble.
Me: He’s seriously pissed. Just called me a crazy murderer. Not gonna lie, it hurt.
Eric: Be there in ten x
The security guard returns to the room, making me jump.
“I’m afraid you can’t be alone in here,” he nods at all the security monitors.
“I understand,” I sniff and wipe my eyes. “I have someone coming to collect me, would you mind if I waited in here? I can’t go back out there,” I say.
Perhaps my pathetic demeanor tugs at his sympathy, because he reluctantly agrees and takes his seat in front of the screen walls.
I stare at my phone in silence until it buzzes in my hands.
Eric: I’m outside
“Thank you for letting me wait here,” I say to the security guard as I make my way out of the door and back into the bright foyer. I don’t need to look around to know that Jackson is watching me from the ballroom entrance. Why? I’ve no idea, but I can’t bring myself to look at him because right now I want to slam my fist into the straight lines of his face and mess it up.
Tristan catches up to me as I reach the hotel entrance.
“Em, are you all right? Where are you going?”
“I just need five minutes,” I gesture with my hand and walk out into the cool, inky night and find Eric stood next to a limo looking smart in a sharply tailored suit. I feel a stab of guilt for pulling him away from whatever event he was attending, but I have bigger things on my mind.
He opens the door for me and I climb inside, shuffling across the leather seat so he can climb in after me.
Eric is tall and handsome, especially in uniform, with strong features and bright eyes. He’s less gruff and rugged than Tristan, although the two share a similarly muscular, military build, and not as broodingly lethal looking as Jackson. Eric is the happy, uncomplicated middle road. He’s immortal, very easy on the eyes, strong and confident but kind with it; he’d be perfect for me if my heart didn’t belong to a man who hates me.
He looks intently at me.
“We don’t need Jackson Smoak looking into Astor any further. Put it to bed and get him off our backs, before a whole world of hurt falls down on the Avidite population. He’s a well-connected man and it won’t take much for him to unravel the Astor cover. His connection to one of the perpetrators and you are a complication the Corps doesn’t need.”
“Understood.”
He holds a tablet towards me, but just out of reach. “I don’t need to remind you that this is confidential. The consequences of this getting out is the very reason I’m giving you the file in the first place. I’d show it to Mr. Smoak myself, but my presence is needed elsewhere. You aren’t a serving member of the Corps anymore, so this is so fucking unorthodox, but we don’t need Jackson Smoak sounding off conspiracy theories. This tablet doesn’t leave your side, you don’t let it out of your sight, and I will be collecting it from you first thing tomorrow morning,” I nod.
“His cousin?”
“Bryant Hopkins. I looked into it on the way over. We didn’t make the connection before, but they are related. You should know that you didn’t kill him; Bryant Hopkins was one of my targets.”
Bryant Hopkins was a lowlife asshole the world is better off without, still, I can’t help the relief at knowing I wasn’t the one to kill Jackson’s cousin.
“Thank you,” I say.
This information can’t get out or everything we did to protect the Avidites will be for nothing and the first head to roll for exposing the truth will be Eric’s. He’s just put his career in my hands and the gravity of that trust hits me hard.
“We need this buried, Emmy. That being said, it could’ve waited until tomorrow; I’m not one for running out on important dinners when a woman calls. You know I have a soft spot for you so try not to put me too many awkward positions, because I doubt there is much I wouldn’t do for you if you asked.”
This is probably the most romantic thing Eric Grant has ever said to a woman and it makes me feel a little uncomfortable. Not in a creeped-out way – Eric is always a respectful gentleman – but I’m aware that if I said the words, he’d be mine. Problem is, I’m unable to be his.
“You say the sweetest things,” I tease to lighten the mood. “I really am grateful that you came through for me.”
“Always, just get Jackson off our case. You look really beautiful in that dress, by the way.”
I blush self-consciously.
Eric leans in and hands me the tablet before closing the distance and kissing me gently. The feel of his lips is familiar but unwelcome, so I pull quickly away.
“I thought we agreed that you wouldn’t try to do that anymore?”
“I live in hope. Plus, it’s a bit hard not to when you’re dressed like that,” his eyes flash with heat.
I push him away lightly.
“I’m being serious Eric. The Corps lifestyle isn’t for me; the Astor mission proved that. Even if my heart wasn’t hung-up on someone else, getting emotionally attached to a man who lives for his job isn’t an option for me. I wouldn’t be able to deal with you constantly disappearing on missions you couldn’t tell me about and always wondering if you’re okay. I’m not the woman for you and if you’re honest with yourself, I think you like the idea of us more than the reality. The fact that you put your job above all else; friends, family, relationships, tells me you’re still not ready to be a relationship guy. And there’s nothing wrong with that as long as you’re not trying to make me fall for you; that scenario ends badly for both of us and I don’t want to lose my friend.”