I’d never seen her look so weak.
She finally placed her palms against the earth and pushed herself up, wearing the camp outfit she’d been dressed in before she arrived. It was a black tank top and loose waterproof pants. Her arms shook as she got up and slowly rose to her feet. She looked around at the guards, obviously recognizing Alix. Then she turned to look at me, as if she expected another nameless face. But then she stilled, her eyes rigid and fixed in place, her breathing nonexistent.
I couldn’t describe this rage. It made my blood boil, my chest ache with every breath, made me breathe like a knife had punctured one of my lungs through my back—because she’d stabbed me. Affection had spoiled into hatred, and I could honestly say I hated this woman, that I wanted every bad thing to happen to this woman—because she deserved it.
She started to breathe again, looking at me with eyes that slowly started to water. “Magnus—”
My body instinctively reacted to the sound of my name, the name she only knew because I’d shared it with her. She humiliated me further, right in front of the guards who had no respect for me after I let a wet pussy control my dick. Both of my hands reached out to her throat, and I grabbed her tightly, choking her with a grip so hard I thought I might snap her neck.
Her hands immediately went to my hands, and she tried to pull them off.
I slammed her down onto the ground and continued to choke her, right on top of her so I could watch the life leave her eyes, watch her suffer so my suffering would be more bearable. I pushed her head into the earth, my hands about to pop her skin. “Don’t speak to me. Don’t look at me. And don’t you ever say my fucking name again.” My hands released her throat, and I got back to my feet, breathing through my anger, feeling the adrenaline leave my heart and circulate everywhere else.
She rolled onto her stomach and heaved into the ground, gasping for air, coughing as she felt her neck with her fingertips.
The guards stared down at her.
I didn’t do it for show. I didn’t do it to earn back the respect I’d lost.
I did it…because I fucking wanted to.
Four
War Begins
I wasn’t her guard anymore.
The position hadn’t been offered to me intentionally, but even if it had, I wouldn’t have taken it.
I was no one’s guard.
Now, I was the leader of the camp, overseeing day-to-day operations, managing the cocaine that came in and out. Every single ounce was closely monitored, and I had to make sure the prisoners weren’t stealing any to snort in their cabins, and I had to make sure the guards weren’t doing it either.
I wasn’t certain when I would leave again.
Fender knew I didn’t want to be at the camp, which was why he kept me there. He wanted me there—with her.
I went to the clearing and examined the completed cocaine packets. They were preweighed in certain amounts and organized because it was much easier to give to our street distributors in their desired increments. Some clients wanted more, some wanted less.
I never bothered to look at her.
Despite the heat, we still wore the same outfits. It was easy for us to recognize one another, but for the women, it created confusion. And they never really knew when they were being watched.
When I felt a stare on my face, I lifted my chin and looked across the clearing.
She stood at the table, her next box ready to be carried when a spot opened, and she stared at me openly. Her dark-brown hair was flat now that she was back to her life at the camp. She had no hair accessories like she did at her apartment, so her long strands hung down her body in disarray. Her skin was fairer than it used to be because being indoors had lightened her complexion. Her eyes were blue and innocent, like a porcelain doll that had been sitting on a bookshelf in her office. The longer she stared, the more her breathing increased. Her eyes held emotion that was easy to read because I was so accustomed to every little reaction she made.
I dropped my gaze and ignored her.
She meant nothing to me now—absolutely nothing.
I stepped into the cabin that held the break room, where the guards stopped for snacks and water throughout the day. It was right next to the clearing, so they could come and go and use the restroom if they needed it. It was also the place where we kept some weapons, like the bows and arrows, so they were easy to retrieve if a fight broke out.
It was evening now, after dinnertime, and I stepped inside to see the guards sitting at the table, their hoods down, beer and snacks on the table, along with a pile of poker chips. My companionship had been disowned, so I never expected an invitation to join. They’d once respected me as the next in command, but now they spat on me as they passed.
Alix’s eyes immediately shifted to me, the cards held in his hands. “Look, one-nut chuck.”
The guards snickered at his joke.
I ignored him and entered the weapons room to make sure everything was where it was supposed to be. They’d put a bolt on Raven’s door so she wouldn’t be able to lock-pick her way out of there again. I accounted for everything and walked back out again.
Alix spoke to me again on my way out. “You think that cunt would still suck your dick with half a sac?”
In another scenario, I would just shank him for speaking to me that way, especially in front of the others. But I was the one who’d fucked up. I was the one who’d cost us everything. If I fought him, it would only make the others hate me more.
I took the steps to the ground and headed back to my cabin.
“Hey, asshole.” Alix’s voice erupted behind me.
I stopped but didn’t turn around. The lights from buildings cast limited illumination in the darkness, but I could picture him clearly in my mind far better than I could ever see him anyway.
“I asked you a question.”
I slowly turned around and stared him down.
Alix came down the stairs, in dark jeans and a t-shirt, grinning once he had my attention.
The rest of the guys moved to the porch—to witness whatever was about to happen.
Alix slowly came toward me, his boots kicking up little clouds of dry earth in his path. There were patches of grass, and soon the place would be covered in vegetation as the final bits of springtime cold faded.
His taunts enraged me, but again, I couldn’t be that angry.
I was the one who had betrayed them for a woman who had so easily betrayed me.
He came closer and closer, stopping just feet in front of me. “Does it feel different? When you fuck a woman?” Alix already despised me for all the times I’d helped Raven in the past. But now, his hatred was beyond the stratosphere. He would never stop this shit.
I could fight him, but even if I won, I still lost. I turned around and continued to walk.
“Do you come less?”
The guys on the porch snickered loudly.
I kept going.
His footsteps sounded behind me. “I’m talking to you, asshole.”
I walked at a normal pace because I wasn’t running from my enemy. I was simply indifferent.
Then his footsteps became quicker, telling me he was right behind me.
I quickly pivoted and steadied his arm, which held a blade that had been pointed at my back just seconds ago. I twisted it away, kneed him in the balls, and then slugged him in the stomach.