“But enough about me, tell me all about you. How is school? Did you pick a college yet?”
“I’m still weighing up my options, but my guidance counselor is going to help me before school gets out for the holidays.”
“That’s good, baby, real good. Mi pequeña graduating high school and going off to college. I couldn’t be prouder if I tried.”
“I haven’t been accepted yet, Mama.”
She grunted. “They’d be foolish to turn you down, baby. Always were booksmart.”
“So I was thinking,” I hesitated, bracing myself for her response. “Maybe I could visit over the holidays. Just for a few days?”
“Mya, baby, you know that isn’t a good idea.”
“I haven’t spoken to him. I’ve ignored all his texts, just like I promised. But I miss you. I miss you so much, Mama. And Shona and the girls.”
“He’s still calling you?”
“Texts mainly.”
“I don’t like it, Mya. I don’t like it at all. Maybe I should talk to Keelan and—”
“No, Mama, you can’t. You promised,” I cried, fear edging into my voice.
“Ssh, baby. You’re right, that wouldn’t end well. But I wish you’d change your number. Be done with him once and for all.”
“I am done. It’s over.” My chest cracked.
Silence followed.
A beat.
Another.
Until Mom let out a heavy sigh. “I didn’t want to tell you, but you should know, Jermaine dropped out of school.”
“No!”
School was his last hope. The one place he had people anchoring him to something more than a life of drugs, gangs, and an early grave.
Not the only thing. I shut down the little voice. I’d tried… and failed. Walking away from Jermaine was the hardest thing I’d ever done, but it wasn’t only about him anymore. It was about me too. My life, my dreams.
My safety.
“He’s running for Diaz officially.”
That’s what Shona must have called to tell me. Jermaine was in deep with Diaz and his crew now.
Guilt snaked through me. When I’d left, Jermaine was still in school. He still had a chance. But if he’d initiated into Diaz’s crew, there would be no easy way out now. Tears pooled in my eyes as I remembered our last conversation, right before Mom shipped me off to Rixon.
“Fuck, Mya, baby, you weren’t supposed to be there… you weren’t supposed to get hurt.” He tried to cradle my face, but I jerked back, shielding my bruised cheek with my hand.
“Don’t touch me,” I ground out shakily, pain radiating from various parts of my body.
“But I need you… I need you, Mya. I always need you.”
“So stop,” I cried. “Walk away before it’s too late. Keelan said he’d give you a job.”
“Glass collecting at the bar?” He scoffed. “I can’t be collecting no glasses, Mya. I got a rep to protect.”
“Do it for me, J; for us. I can’t stand by and watch you do this to yourself no more. Look at yourself. Look at me. What happens next time it goes wrong? What happens when it’s not someone’s fist but a bat or… gun.”
“Nah, baby. This isn’t shit, just a little warning.”
“A little warning?” I gasped, the air leaving my lungs on a painful breath. “They held me down while they beat you. And then they…”
* * *
“Mya, mi pequeña?” Mom’s voice pulled me from my thoughts, and I swiped at my eyes, trying to compose myself.
“I’m still here.” I forced the memories back into their box, locking it tightly. “Think about the holidays, okay, Mama? I could just come for a couple of days and stay at the house. Shona could visit. Or maybe you could come here?”
“You know I can’t, baby.” Sadness lingered in her voice.
“Aunt Ciara wouldn’t mind. In fact, I’m sure she’d love to see—”
“Mya, enough. Keelan’s calling me on the other line, I gotta go, baby. But be safe, okay? And we’ll talk soon. I love you, Mya.”
“Love you too, Mama.” Swallowing down the dejection, I ended the call and clutched my cell phone to my chest.
Everything was a mess. All because I fell in love with the wrong boy. People said all you needed was love. But they were wrong.
So wrong.
Love wasn’t always enough to save somebody. Two people could love one another with everything that they were and it might still not be enough to make their relationship work.
Jermaine Kingston had taken my heart and promised to keep it safe. But he’d failed me. And something told me if I gave Asher a chance, he’d also hurt me. Even if he didn’t mean to.
My heart had been shattered once.
I wasn’t sure it would survive another heartbreak.
“There you are,” Felicity said on Friday morning as I headed into the building. “I was beginning to think you were avoiding me.”
“I just needed some space.”
“Anything I can help with because if Asher is—”
“It’s not Asher,” I said a little too quickly. “I guess I’m just missing home, what with it almost being the holidays.”
“Are you going to see your mom?”
“I want to, but she doesn’t want me to go back.”
“Because of Jermaine?”
Nodding, I pulled off my hat and stuffed it in my backpack. “She’s worried I’ll fall back into old habits.”
“But you wouldn’t, right?”
“Me and Jermaine are over, but feelings don’t just switch off, Flick. I can’t say for sure how I’d act again if I saw him. I found out he dropped out of school.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. It just means he’s in even deeper with the crew now. I guess I’d hoped me leaving would…” I trailed off, spotting Asher and the guys across the hall.
“We’ll talk later.” She gave my hand a little squeeze, smiling as Jason stalked toward her.
“Hey.” He kissed her deeply, pressing her back against the lockers.
“Mya,” Cameron said. “How’s things?”
“Good thanks. You?”
“Can’t complain.”
“Asher,” I said, noticing he’d made no effort to say hello.
“Hey.” He barely looked at me.
Felicity and Jason finally broke away from one another and she shot me a ‘what’s all that about’ look. I shrugged.
“Felicity said you didn’t ride in with her again.” Jason looked at me.
“She did, did she?”
My friend’s gaze went wide, guilt swirling in her hazel eyes. “I… oops.”
“It’s no big deal.”
“The weather is getting bad out there. You can’t trust the school bus and I don’t like the idea of you walking all that way alone.”
“I… appreciate your concern.” This was too fucking weird. “But I’m a big girl, I can handle myself.”