“Benji.” I placed my hand on his face. “No one and nothing can change what we have. Ever. No legal document, no name change, nothing. You’re my best friend, regardless.” I kissed his cheek and inhaled his familiar cologne. It was sweet and spicy, just like him.
I glanced at Layne, who was smiling like he’d just won the lottery. He didn’t need to say anything for me to realize he was thrilled that Benji and I were both happy about the adoption. It was a weird situation. But there was nothing ordinary about us in the first place.
“Can you help me up?” I asked Layne. “If it’s okay with everyone, I’d love to shower. I’ve not had one since before …” Flashes of blood spurting all over me filled my mind. Marilyn had cleaned me up some while I was at the hospital, but I needed to sit under the hot spray and wash the stench of Jack Flannery off me.
Marilyn hurried over. “Of course. Take a nap too. I’ll have something for dinner when you’re ready.” She placed a kiss on my forehead then on Benji’s. “I love my kids.”
Layne waited for Marilyn then lifted me off Benji’s lap and into his arms. “I’ll get your crutches later.”
I leaned my head against his shoulder as he carried me up the stairs and into my bedroom. He gently kicked the door closed and placed me on the plush bed. I sank into it as he grabbed clean clothes for me out of the dresser.
“Hang on.” He kissed me, then disappeared into the bathroom.
The sound of the shower being turned on was music to my ears.
Layne returned, and without a word, I tugged off the T-shirt he’d brought me in the hospital. Marilyn had also tossed in a pair of Nike sweats. The cops had once again confiscated my clothes from the hospital, but that was fine with me. I never wanted to see them again. I worked my sweats and panties over the cast and tossed them in the corner. Pain shot through my leg, and I winced.
“We have to keep the splint from getting wet, babe. Marilyn gave me this to tape around it.”
I giggled while he knelt down on the floor and taped a kitchen trash bag around my lower leg.
“This is so romantic.” I covered my mouth, suppressing my giggle. “I’m filthy dirty, naked, and my boyfriend is wrapping my leg in a garbage bag.”
Layne chuckled. “I’m at your service, ma’am.” He stood, bowed, then scooped me up in his strong arms again. “I’m going to put you in the shower, then I’ll join you if that’s okay.”
“Yes, please. Just feeling your touch helps.”
We approached the shower and Layne pulled on the handle with his fingers. He stepped under the spray, fully clothed, and set me on the bench. “I obviously didn’t think this through very well, did I?” He grinned, stepped out on the rug, and shook his head as he began unbuttoning his shirt. “I probably should have undressed with you out there.”
“Oh no. This is perfect. Please continue with the show.” My smile grew wider as he removed his shirt. His chest and arm muscles rippled with every move. “What are we going to do?” My eyes traveled down his tight abs as he discarded his jeans. He stood in front of me, fully erect.
“Ignore that.” He stepped into the shower. “We’re not doing anything for the next week, so we’ll just have to deal with it.”
“Week?” I squeaked.
Layne laughed. “I know, but you have to heal. Once you’re out of the splint, we can work around it.”
I reached out and wrapped my fingers around his hard cock. “I can take care of you.”
“Hey.” He carefully removed my hand and sat next to me. The water streamed over us as he cupped my chin and tilted my head up. His eyes bored into mine, and silence descended over us. “I know in your past that sex was a bargaining and survival tool, but I love you. You don’t have to take care of me in order to feel you deserve to be loved. Babe, you’re my top priority. The sex is amazing, but I’m just as content to hold you. Tensley, you came back to me. I thought I’d lost you forever, but here you are. The best thing you can do for me is to relax and let me love you.”
My heart pounded in my ears. I didn’t know what I had done to deserve him, but maybe he was right. I shouldn’t be alive. This was my chance to build the life I’d always dreamed of and know, in every fiber of my being, that Layne loved me for me.
“Okay.” I leaned over and brushed my lips against his. I loved him so much. He was the reason I was still breathing and safe in his arms. But even before Jack had taken me, Layne had taken my brokenness and pieced me back together.
Finally, he broke our kiss. “Let’s get you cleaned up and into bed. I’ll be with you the entire time.”
I nodded gratefully. Fear clenched my heart at the thought of being alone. “I’m afraid to close my eyes, Layne.” I blinked the water from them. “I don’t know how to deal with what I saw.”
“I know. I’m here, though. If you wake up screaming, I’ll be right by your side. If you have a flashback, I’ll be here. I know how bad the PTSD can be, but you’re surrounded by people who love you. You’re safe.”
“Thank you. Maybe when I’m feeling a little better, you can take me to see Vaughn. I’m guessing their assignment here is over.”
“Yeah. But I know how to get in touch with him.”
A sharp pain shot up my leg and I bolted upright in the bed. Layne’s soft snore filled the room, and I sucked in a deep breath. I was home on the softest mattress I’d ever slept on, and I was with my boyfriend. Lying back down, I fumbled around on the nightstand for one of the pain pills the doctor had given me. Layne had brought up some water in case I needed it in the middle of the night, but it was after six in the morning. I’d slept for almost nine hours without any nightmares.
I popped a pill, then lay back and tried to settle in again, but I couldn’t sleep. This was the first time I’d had to think about everything. Even though Layne was next to me, no one was staring at me or searching for signs that I would lose my shit at any given moment. I didn’t want to be the fragile girl who had to be handled with kid gloves, but I was. It had been only seventy-two hours since I’d been in the mountains of Montana with a serial killer, with my father. I had murdered my father so that I could save two lives. I was a murderer. Grief and anxiety drowned out any logic that attempted to fight its way through the harsh reality that stared at me. Fear wrapped its cold fingers around my heart, and I trembled beneath the covers. His blood flowed through my veins. I’d killed someone. I was just like my father.
“No, no, no,” I whispered, my chest tightening as Jack’s face flashed through my mind. I grabbed my head, willing the memories to go away, but they just kept coming.
“Babe. I’m right here.” In one quick motion, Layne sat up and pulled me onto his lap. “You’re safe. I’ve got you.” He gently rocked me as I continued to shake.
A whimper escaped me, my body turning cold. “I killed him. I’m just like him. A murderer.”
“Hang on a minute.” Layne placed me on my side of the bed and hopped up. He pulled a shirt on and straightened his sweats. Then he approached me, picked me up, and carried me downstairs and into the kitchen.