“Man?”
I wave my hand dismissively. “You know what I mean. He smells like hard work and dedication.”
“Didn’t know a man could smell like dedication. Is that a new scent by Dior?”
“This!” I point to her. “This is why I didn’t want to talk.”
She clamps her mouth closed and her hands go up. “I’m just teasing. Tell me about him.”
“You don’t want to hear it.”
“No,” she counters with a wide smile, “I really do.”
“It’s not fair. His back muscles, his scent. The way he’s so nice and sweet with Andy. I never expected any of it.”
“Because of his letter?”
I glare at her. “He said our son was a mistake, that he wished he’d never met me, Soph.”
“He didn’t mean it, and you won’t be able to convince me otherwise.”
“He still wrote that to me. I can’t get over that.”
“Sounds like you already have.”
“I haven’t,” I lie. “I’ll never be able to.”
“Not even after looking at his back? He won that unicorn for you today. Andy doesn’t like unicorns.”
“Neither do I.”
“You didn’t until you saw it. He heard you squeal with excitement.”
“First off, I don’t squeal. Secondly, he won it on the first try. What happened to him spending all day trying to get it for me? That’s romance, not knocking down all those damn wooden milk jugs on the first throw.”
“The man has a good arm,” she says with a shrug.
“God, his arms.” I fall back on her bed, and the room spins around me. I bet if I focus hard enough, I can imagine myself in a fantasy land where it wouldn’t be wrong to be lusting after him. “It’s awful that I watch his damn mouth while he’s talking to Andy. It’s disgusting that I think of the other things that mouth is more than capable of while he’s playing with our son.”
“Good with his mouth, huh?”
“The best. I mean, my only, but still the best. And then he had the nerve to touch my lower back as we got on the Ferris wheel. What kind of psycho does that?”
“You hated it?”
“Loved it.” I roll my head on the mattress to look over at her. “It set my blood on fire. It was either come over here or stay at home and flick my damn bean all night. Do you know how unsatisfying that is?”
“Not lately. My man takes care of me often.”
“Good mouth?” I ask.
“The best.” She winks at me. “Why don’t you just go for it? Tell him to get you off.”
“I can’t. I don’t think he wants a relationship with me.” I ignore her scoff. “And I can’t just have sex with him. My heart couldn’t handle it.”
“If you think that man isn’t still head over heels for you, you’re nuts. And I never said just have sex, but so long as you’re being standoffish around him, it’s never going to happen. He’s waiting for you. He’s not going to make a move until he knows it’s what you want.”
“He hurt me,” I whisper.
“I know he did. Will you ever forgive him?”
“Am I fool if I do?”
“I think you already have.”
She’s right.
He’s disproved every word he said in his letter. He spends time with Andy, always smiling. His joy when he’s around his son isn’t forced or fake. He genuinely loves every second he gets with him. I catch him grinning at me, and despite the hateful words he wrote, I never see it on his face or in his actions.
“He’s been giving Dad money to help with Andy.”
“As he should.”
“I told him I didn’t want it, so he went behind my back.”
“You can’t fault the man for taking care of his son. It’s his responsibility and you need to let him.”
“Each week, Dad just drops the cash on my bedside table. I just shove it in the drawer and forget about it.”
“Silliness. At least put it in an account that gains interest.”
I grin at her. “Look at you thinking like an adult. I will.”
“I’ll remind you tomorrow. You’re too drunk to remember. Back to Drew. If you care for him, you need to tell him.”
“I’m afraid he’s going to hurt me again. It’s hard to come back from.”
“Honey, you’re already there, you just need to take that extra step.”
“Everyone knows what he did. Going back to him makes me look weak.”
“Not at all.” She clasps my hand before lying down beside me, her eyes on my face. “You know I always have my ear to the ground so to speak, and I haven’t heard a single bad word about him since he showed back up. Everyone at the clubhouse loves him. Your dad speaks highly of him. No one is going to think poorly of you if you try to work things out with him. Honestly, everyone is expecting it to happen sooner or later.”
“Ugh!” I slam my eyes closed. “Did you see the way his fingers curled around that damn ball?”
“No, but it seems like you did. Do you need a few minutes alone to work out your frustrations? I’d say change the sheets when you’re done, but Colton and I went at it twice this afternoon and I didn’t so…”
“Gross!” I hiss, but I just can’t find the strength to climb off the bed.
She laughs. “You’re the one who wanted to come in here.”
“I wanted to hang out at your house, not lay on cum stains.”
“Not my fault you insisted on the bedroom.”
“Dillon always stares at me when I see him. You could’ve told me it was poker night before I left the house.”
“Officer Ramshaw is a damn fine catch.”
I cringe. The man isn’t my type at all, despite having a thing for men in uniform. Apparently, after having the man in uniform, no one else measures up.
“I don’t want to get drunk in front of a room full of cops.”
“Not just cops.”
“What?” My eyes widen as glare at her. “Did you invite my dad? Oh God, your dad? Why would you do this to me? I’ve been drinking!”
“You realize you’re grown, right? That you have a kid and are of legal age to consume alcohol?”
“Still, I don’t like to do that in front of adults.”
“You’re an adult,” she whispers, but I don’t feel like one right now.
I feel like a petulant child who wants a new toy but is being told no. Only the toy is Drew, and I’m the one telling myself no. It’s a complicated position to be in.
“Drew is coming.”
“What?”
“Drew. Colton invited him.”
“You brought me here under false pretenses?”
“Need I remind you that you invited yourself? I didn’t know Drew was coming until I told Colton you were on your way.”
“You could’ve called me!” My eyes dart around the room, my drunken brain considering jumping from the window to escape rather than having to go downstairs and face him.
“I didn’t want to distract you while you were driving.”