“Way to lay it on heavy,” he jests as I slide my hands up his chest to his neck. “I just can’t, Willow. I’m sorry. I can’t betray Lilith like that.”
I’ve never been a very calm person; I’ve always been a little bit bitter. And as it turns out, I don’t handle rejection very well either. The more he says no, the more I want him. As fucked up as that is.
“If you don’t kiss me, I’ll tell Lilith you instigated it, and then she’ll never want to stay.”
He blanches, staring at me with wide eyes after lurching back a step. “What the fuck, Willow? You really want to force me into kissing you after everything we just spoke about? I said no.”
“Don’t act like you don’t want to kiss me, Nokosi, I’m my sister’s image in every way and you’re fucked up enough to find that a massive turn-on.” I grab his bulge through his pants, but he rips my hand away. “What’s the big deal? It’s just one fucking kiss.”
“You’re insane. I thought we were becoming friends.”
“I can’t be your friend, Nokosi,” I admit, shrugging. “I want you too badly.” I wave my hand to the bucket he was just sitting on. “Sit back down, kiss me like you kiss my sister and I won’t ruin your relationship with her.”
“You know that if you make me do this, I’ll never forgive you. Right?”
“I’m dying soon, Nok. I don’t care about forgiveness. I want you and if this is the only way I get to have you then I’m okay with that.”
He glares at me but I can see the excitement in the depths of his eyes. As much as he hates this, it’s a thrill for him too. His girlfriend’s sister is pining after him, I loathe to admit it, and he loves to know it. It’s good for his ego.
“She won’t believe you,” he argues unconvincingly.
“She won’t only believe me, Nokosi, she’ll smash up that pretty truck of yours and never speak to you again.”
He grits, his jaw clenched, his teeth bared. “And if she walks in on us, or finds out, she’ll do that anyway.”
“Sit down,” I order.
“I’m not doing this.” His willpower is wavering. He really does love my sister.
I shrug my shoulders and smooth down my skirt. “If you walk out of that door, I swear I’ll tell her. I’ll say you came on to me. I’ll say you showed up at our door asking to meet me, then lured me out here and tried to seduce me.” I’m serious too. I’ll tell her that. I don’t want to hurt her, but I want to feel his touch more. “It’s just a fucking kiss, Nokosi. It doesn’t have to be so dramatic. Just sit down.” I’m surprised when he does so, his eyes murderous. “And there’s one stipulation…”
“Seriously? You’re making me kiss you and giving me rules?”
I laugh a little and smooth my braid. “I guess so.”
“What is it?”
“Don’t touch my hair,” I instruct, staring him down. “I don’t like my hair being touched, not while it’s in such atrocious condition.”
“Whatever,” he murmurs and parts his knees so mine fit between them.
I blow out a breath and wet my lips. “Just kiss me.”
“I’m never coming back here. You know that right?”
I click my fingers and grin. “How about this? Kiss me and I’ll never make my sister leave. She can stay and be yours forever… or don’t kiss me and I’ll take her away. We both know I have the power to do that.”
He wets his soft-looking lips. “I have your word?”
I nod. “I’ll tell her we can stay. For a kiss I’d say that’s not a bad deal. I’m trading the rest of my life for just a minute of your lips on mine.”
“She can’t know,” he states.
“Duh.”
He grabs my arm and yanks me towards him. I squeak when his lips hit mine, crushing them painfully.
Ouch.
He pulls away just as suddenly, his eyes wild and angry. Does he really think that’s enough?
This time I yank him, and his hands grab my biceps, squeezing hard but not so hard that it hurts. I lick the seam of his lips, tasting him and he opens his mouth. Finally.
My tongue touches his. He tastes of cola and something else, something that’s strictly him. It’s exactly how I imagined but also so much better. He growls as his lips move against my own. This isn’t passionate, this is anger. It’s incredible.
It’s exactly what I need. I have a feeling he needs it too. Especially after that conversation.
I deepen the kiss, grabbing the back of his neck so he can’t escape but he bites my bottom lip so hard my eyes ping open and I taste blood.
“That’s enough,” he snaps, leaning back to glare at me.
My hand connects with his cheek and his head flies to the side. A welt the shape of a handprint appears on his face, bubbling across the surface of his smooth, bronze skin.
We stare at each other for a beat as blood drips down my chin.
“I decide when it’s enough.” I grab his hair and kiss him again, diving deep into his mouth. I can taste him, myself, blood… fuck.
This is my game. I get to decide when this ends. I get to choose. Not him.
I climb onto his lap, my lips still attached to his. He doesn’t stop me. His eyes are squeezed closed as our mouths assault each other, his hands by his sides. He won’t touch me. He doesn’t want to. But I want him to. I need him to.
I want this. I need this. He needs this. I can give him what my sister can’t. I can be an outlet for all his anger, and I can tell that he has so much of it. Maybe as much as me.
I reach between us, pulling down the elasticated waist of his paint-covered sweatpants, and before he even realizes what I’ve done, I have my hand around his cock.
His eyes spring open, and he pulls back. “Wait,” he breathes, panicked, but it’s too late, I’ve already worked my skirt out of the way, yanked my panties to the side and have poised him at my entrance.
“WILLOW, STOP!”
My back hits the floor so hard my head bounces off the concrete. Ouch.
Nokosi stands above me, eyes blazing as he pulls his pants back up. “Are you fucking insane?”
“Probably,” I reply, smiling at him. “That and horny.” I hide the rejection I feel, the burning anger and jealousy that he still chose my sister after that kiss.
He needs me I can tell.
“You’re so uptight.”
“Stay the fuck away from me,” he barks, grabbing his truck keys off the ground and heading towards the door.
“It’s just sex, Nokosi… I know you want it.”
“Not with you.”
My hands fist by my side and I punch him in the back between his shoulder blades. “What does she have that I don’t?”
“My heart,” he replies, slamming the door closed so hard a piece of wood splinters from the frame and falls to the floor.
Just his heart? I could win that too. I could own that.
I’m worthy.
I pick up the shard of wood and hold it so tightly in my hand my knuckles turn white.
The way he kissed me… I know he wants me… it’s just my sister got to him first.