It doesn’t take too much time which I’m grateful for because my butt is hurting and it’s disconcerting having a guy so close to me like this. It makes me nervous and uncomfortable. I don’t like being this close to people, especially men. It’s not so bad if I’m at the back and in control, but right now I’m in control of nothing but the bike.
I stop at the mouth of the forest and grip the handles after pulling up my visor. “Are you sure you don’t want me to give you a ride home?”
“Nah, it’s cool, it’s not far.”
I know for a fact that’s not true, but I don’t admit it because then he’d wonder how I know where he lives. Stalkers don’t make for good company.
He shines another charming smile my way. “Same time tomorrow?”
I eye him warily and make my bike rev. “I’ll think about it.”
Truth be told the track is exactly where I’ll be going because it is exactly where I need to be.
I take gas money from the jar on the kitchen windowsill. It looks like an ordinary vase to any unsuspecting burglars. Mom keeps it mostly full so we can grab what we need while she’s not around. Tonight, it’s for gas money. She told me to help myself right before she walked out of the back door and out of my life for another three days. Leaving me to deal with my sister, the house, and school.
I can’t remember the last time she asked me about my day.
Fuck her for that.
“Going to see Nok again?” Willow asks.
“No, just off to feed my bike.”
“And to see Nok again.”
I shrug, no point in denying it. “I have to try. He wasn’t at the track today.”
“Why do you always do this?” she snaps, her tired eyes weary. “Why play these games? What’s the point in any of this?”
“You ask me this every time.”
Her voice gets so loud my head feels like it’s splitting open for a moment. “Because you do this every time!”
“I have to!” I yell back, wishing she’d stop fighting with me on this. “It’s the right thing to do.”
“You’re insane if you think that.”
I laugh sardonically and slam the door in her face on my way out of the kitchen and then out of the house.
I went to the res again after school today once I’d finished dealing with Willow and getting her comfortable. I raced a few laps against Nash and two of his buddies and then sat and ate amazing sandwiches prepared by his grandmother who I haven’t met. He used a different word for her, but I can’t remember what it was.
He told me his nan is an elder and she doesn’t leave the immediate vicinity. Apparently, she’s sensitive to the emotions and troubles of others so she doesn’t like huge crowds of people.
She just makes them all sandwiches and snacks when they ask. A lot of it is freshly caught and cooked. I’ll never look at store-bought fish the same way again after such amazing sandwiches.
They are such welcoming people. Even Winona who is totally vying after Nash’s affections. She should hate me and she probably does but it’s ingrained in her to be polite. Unlike Nok who took one look at me, spat on the ground by my feet, and rode away with his own group of friends to location unknown. He’s hard to get near. I had two classes with him today and I couldn’t even entice him to look my way. He just did his work with his head down, not saying a thing to anyone.
Though I did get some info on his relationship with Barbie and I was shocked by what I heard. Apparently, rumor has it, he had sex with her in the back of his truck and then left her at a truck stop because he was done. That’s all he wanted. To humiliate her.
But I don’t know if that’s true as it didn’t come from Barbie herself and rumors in school spread like cancer.
Still… he gets worse and worse the more I hear and see of him.
I mount my bike and make the long drive to the gas station. Nash shouted at Nok earlier to remember to pick up a few gallons of gas for the quads. Of course, I low-key enquired about where he’d be getting it from on the lie that I was looking for the cheapest fuel prices around here, but whether he’ll be there or not when I get there is another thing entirely. Knowing my luck… he won’t be.
I fill up my tank in the empty station, lifting up my visor so I can see better in the dark. The only light comes through the glass windows of the gas station. I put the nozzle back and head inside, readying my wallet to pay.
One of the truckers loitering around with two others to the right of the building wolf whistles. “Walk on over here, pretty lady, if you want a good time.”
They laugh as though he’s so fucking hilarious which he’s not.
I ignore them and push on the store door; it beeps when it reaches a thirty-degree angle and drags on the tiles the rest of the way.
“We’ll pay you!”
“With my massive dick!”
I keep ignoring them and head inside, letting the door close behind me. I’m not scared of them, but I am aware of where my sharpened switchblade is tucked into my boot just in case I need it.
A TV in the corner by the counter fills the space with sound. I vaguely listen as I search for where they keep the cold drinks.
“Such a nice, loving young man… didn’t deserve this… family distraught… miss him… inhumane…”
I roll my eyes. People always lie when people die, they tell about how nice they are and how loved when really they were a complete dick while alive. It’s such a joke. People are pussies. When I die I want the world to know what a cunt I was while alive. Don’t do me a disservice by pretending I was anything other than what I am.
I grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator and almost squeak with glee when I hear another car pull up outside. It’s Nok’s truck.
FUCK YES!
I didn’t think I’d get so lucky.
Somebody climbs out with him; I think his name is Joseph but I’m not completely certain. I saw him on the track today riding a quad before leaving with Nok as I sat with Nash. So many names. I’m usually good at this but I’m tired and too eager.
I’ve never struggled to entice a bad boy before, ever. Nok is too much of a fucking challenge, I might just not bother with any of this at all. Maybe my sister is right? Maybe I am insane for doing this but it’s just… he’s not a nice guy. I know that. There’s no redeeming him in my eyes. But whatever.
I’ve got to do what I’ve got to do to make this hell a little bit more bearable.
This is perfect though. I am buzzing with electric excitement at how well this has panned out.
I quickly pay for my water and gas and mutter a curse under my breath. “Do you have a restroom?”
“Over there,” the bored-looking cashier says, pointing to the far corner.
I don’t actually need to pee, but I need a reason to hang back and make my play. I head inside, careful not to touch anything and wait approximately three minutes until the beep above the door sounds across the store.
I make my exit and as I’m doing so the beep sounds again.
“Don’t you fucking ignore me, bush nigger,” snarls the voice of the trucker that catcalled me outside.
Oh man. Come on. Give me a break, Satan.