“Huh.” That’s all Gabriel says for a few beats as I search her fridge for the perfect comfort food that’ll be easy on her stomach.
“Is there something else?” ‘Cause I’d really like to focus on food instead of the fear she had on her face, in her voice, and ravaging every cell of her body.
“I was on my way to my car when I called you. I was sure she needed me. But maybe you’re what she needs right now.” The astonishment in his voice wouldn’t bother me nearly as much if that revelation didn’t surprise me too.
There’s been something between Reese and me from the first moment I laid eyes on her. Corny as it sounds, it’s like the heavens opened up and shone a light on her midnight hair, lighting up her blue eyes that are so much like her brother’s but with an added depth of hurt I recognize.
My want of her is strong, but the weight of her innocence is daunting.
She’s Frankie’s family now—another complication if I go for it and break her heart. I can’t mess that up if I intend to remain in her life and the life of my godson, Maddox, and they are too important for me to lose over a woman I shouldn’t have anyway. “How are Ox and Frankie doing?”
His voice is pure joy when he responds, “They’re good, man. So good. It’s amazing to watch the love of your life dote on the other love of your life. I had no idea it could be like this.”
“Yeah?” Me neither.
My parents have a good marriage, but I’m the second to youngest and pretty much raised myself with help from my little sister who’s only a year younger than me. Perhaps we raised each other. My older brother was definitely no help. But this awe in Gabriel’s voice, I have no idea what that feels like. I know what it looks like now that I’ve seen the three of them together.
Ox is only three weeks old. I pray they can keep the love and glow going. What’s that old poem? Nothing golden can stay… or some shit like that. A good marriage and being a good parent require work. I hope they have what it takes.
I hope I have what it takes if I’m blessed enough to experience it.
“Listen, I should probably mention—”
“Don’t,” I interrupt. “Don’t betray Reese’s trust to tell me something she wouldn’t want me to know.”
“Fuck.” His frustration buzzes through the phone. “Call if you need anything.”
“Yep.”
“And, Rowdy?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks, man. I mean it. She doesn’t trust easy, and men… Well, she doesn’t trust at all. It’s sayin’ something you’re the one she does.”
That affirmation gives me a little glow of my own. I quickly smother it. “Don’t read too much into it.”
“Don’t negate the rarity of this moment.”
“I’m not.” Trust me. I feel the weight of it growing with each passing second.
AVOIDING ROWDY HAS BEEN EASIER THAN avoiding Cap or my brother. I stayed home the day after my meltdown. Cap understood and told me to come back to work when I’m ready. He’s entirely too lenient. I’m going to have to do something about that before someone takes advantage of that man’s savior complex. He’s entirely too giving. For a guy so big and gruff who barely utters two-syllable words, he’s all heart.
It seems my avoidance game has come to an end as I stare down Cap and Gabriel, who chose to corner me in Cap’s office.
And by corner me, I simply mean Cap nicely asked me to come into his office after he finished talking to Gabriel about me, no doubt.
The palpable silence is deafening as these bigger-than-life men look at me with puppy dog eyes, terrified I might breakdown in tears… Again.
I can’t take it. “Look. I know what happened the other day can’t happen again. I’m prepared to resign—”
“No one said it can’t happen again—” Cap interrupts, only to be interrupted by Gabriel: “The fuck?”
“I mean, this is a place of business. You can’t have your employees causing such a scene,” I continue.
Cap’s rare smile is tender as he ushers me into a chair in front of his desk. “Sit.” He orders Gabriel to do the same. Surprisingly, he does.
“Reese, it’s not about you doing something wrong or you having to quit your job. I need you. You’re the best damn assistant I’ve ever had. You’re not quitting. Unless you’re not happy—”
“No. God, no. I’m happy here.” So damn happy it scares me. “I want this job, Cap.”
I need this job. I need a reason to get out of bed and out of my apartment every day, or at least five days a week. I refuse to let my shut-in tendencies steal any more of my life.
“Good. I’m happy to hear that. We want you here.”
Gabriel turns his chair to face me. “Ree, we only want to help. Make what happened easier on you. Do what we can to reduce the likelihood of an episode happening again.”
I thought for sure I was going to be fired for showing my crazy. “Um, I don’t want to set the expectation that it won’t happen again. It probably will. But—” I smile at Gabriel before meeting Cap’s gaze. “Maybe I could talk to the guys, let them know my triggers. Tell them what to do… Or what not to do when it happens.”
Airing my dirty laundry is not my favorite thing, but I’m willing to give them this so I can keep my job. It’s my lifeline to humanity—to normalcy.
Cap checks the clock. “Let me talk to the guys. Go have lunch, and when you come back, we can meet with them.”
“Sounds like a plan.” A scary as fuck plan.
But what choice do I have? Live in solitude or face my demons head-on?
Head-on, which means I have to start with letting the guys know what my deal is. Something I’ve avoided talking about except with my therapist, who I quit seeing a few years ago. Maybe not the smartest move. I couldn’t afford her, and I felt like I’d hit a plateau.
Taking this job outside of the house was a huge step for me.
Talking about my damage to the guys will be another massive one.
I’m on the verge of popping a blood vessel as I pour my Reese frustration into lifting more weight than is sane when my kitten comes into view, stealing my breath and garnering my focus.
I set the bar on the rack, snatch up my water and towel and meet her halfway. Pride bursts in my chest that she headed straight for me, not even pretending she didn’t come looking.
“Kitten.”
She blushes on a beaming smile. “I was wondering if you had time to grab a quick bite. I’ve got to be back in about an hour to talk to the guys.” She glances round the room. “But I’d like to talk to you first.”
“Yeah, sure. Let me just clean up. Give me five.”
Running on pure adrenaline, I speed through a quick shower, not bothering with washing my hair as I have more working out to do when we get back.
I find Reese waiting for me as I exit the locker room. It’s good to see her in the gym looking healthy and sexy as hell instead of curled up on herself on the floor, freaking out about what, I still don’t know.
She’s been avoiding my calls.