I didn’t like where this was heading. “What’s bothering you, Clover?”
“Nothing.”
Even best friends weren’t immune to that trap. “It’s not nothing. Where did all this come from? Don’t tell me one bad flight has made you rethink your entire career.”
“It’s not just one flight. And it’s not just my career. It’s everything.” She looked away, peeking out of the paisley curtains as if to search for an end to the conversation in the hotel parking lot. “I don’t even know why you followed me here.”
“You know damned well why I’m here.”
“You only have two days before training camp starts. Why would you waste them traveling across the country with me?”
“I don’t consider this a waste. Especially since my schedule will kick my ass once camp starts.”
“Yeah…you’ll be busy.” The air conditioner hummed a little too loud. Fortunately, she knew just where to kick to jostle the motor back in place. “Busy, busy, busy. Always something to do because everyone depends on you. You have responsibilities. Places to be. People to talk to. Problems to solve. Captain Alaric will once again foist the world onto his shoulders and do his best to play superhero on skates.”
Jesus. How bad was her damned flight? At least she got to stand up and walk around. I was the one contorted into a goddamned pretzel so I wouldn’t accidentally feel up any elderly nuns.
“Are you going to tell me what the problem is, or do I assume its hormones?” I asked. “Why pee on a stick when you can just piss me off, right?”
Clover fought with the scarf tied around her throat. She dug her fingers into the silken material and ripped, nearly fraying the silk as she pitched it to the ground. Her heels came next. She kicked them away, slamming both into the wall.
Wasn’t like her to throw a temper tantrum.
Especially when we were on the brink of some potentially good news.
Unless…
“Clover.” I attempted to hide the bitter frustration in my voice. “I came with you on this trip so that we could take the pregnancy test together. Is there something you want to tell me?”
She couldn’t look at me, but I saw the tears threatening to spill. “I really don’t know why you came, Adrian. I don’t know why you keep working this hard. I don’t know why you’re always here, trying to help me, to fix everything for me.”
“The reason is you.”
And it didn’t offer her any comfort. She scowled.
“You should just go home,” she said. “You have no time before training camp starts. You can’t show up jet-lagged.”
“I’ll spend my remaining free time however I want.”
“And you decided to randomly cross the country for a joyride?”
“I decided to spend those days with you.”
“And what’s going to happen because of that?” Clover ripped off her blazer with a grunt. “What’s going to happen to us?”
That was a question I didn’t want to answer, a conversation I refused to have, and feelings I would never acknowledge.
“First, we figure out if you’re pregnant,” I said.
“And if I’m not?”
“Are you?”
Her espresso eyes darted everywhere in the room but toward me. They finally rested on her overnight bag. She must’ve packed a pregnancy test.
It was a punch to the gut. Worse.
A puck to the balls.
That was the third time.
Our third month of trying with only frustration, fear, and uncertainty to show for it.
But a hell of a lot of other emotions raged that I wasn’t ready to admit.
I’d always loved Clover, but now those feelings roiled and burst and threatened to release in an unintentional argument. I had no idea what to do with them, if I should reveal them, or how to keep the confession hidden.
If I wanted to keep her happy, I had to give her a baby.
But how many more times could we try before she’d realize that something was wrong.
Before I’d admit what I had always known.
I curled my finger, inviting her back to the bed. She stood before me as the tension rolled from her shoulders.
“It’s okay,” I said.
It wasn’t, but she still forced a smile. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you. There was no reason for you to join me today.”
Another gut punch. Didn’t she see how much I cared? If she had asked, I would’ve walked across the country for her.
“Training camp starts soon, and my life’s gonna get fucking busy,” I said. “There’s no sense wasting the few days we have together fighting. Especially over something so silly.”
Clover swallowed hard. “It’s not silly. It’s important. It’s our baby.”
“And were gonna keep trying. You and me, like it’s always been. No matter what.”
“How can you be so…confident?” she asked.
I wasn’t, but I also wasn’t as bad a liar as she thought. “I made a promise to you. I swore I’d get you pregnant, and I won’t stop until I make your wish come true.”
“Why?”
I had no answer to give that wouldn’t destroy everything.
So instead I pulled her close to me, held her tight, and savored the quickening beat of her heart as she rested her head on my shoulder.
I couldn’t let my feelings—my own ravenous desires—complicate something that should’ve been so pure and selfless.
That meant I needed to suppress what clouded my thoughts and raked at my chest until I was certain I had given her the baby she deserved.
I’d spent my life being the one man that Clover could depend on to fix her every problem. Anything from traipsing through three inches of water in her flooded basement to racing home after practice to slay a particularly hairy spider skittering across her living room wall.
I wanted to be the one who gave her everything.
But a baby wasn’t something I kept in my toolbox. Starting a family wasn’t as easy as ordering her a pizza from across the country. And texting her a silly joke every night was not the same as getting on one knee and revealing my love to her.
I couldn’t fix this problem.
I couldn’t hide my feelings.
And I couldn’t ignore the impending disaster.
How was I supposed to provide for this woman when I was too chicken shit to confess the truth to her?
If I couldn’t be the man to give her what she so desperately wanted…
Would I still be the best friend she’d trust to mend her broken heart?
18
Clover
The Ironfield Forge’s honorary banquet celebrating the opening of training camp began at eight in the evening…
Precisely four hours after Adrian’s cock started trending on Twitter.
And, boy, was it one hell of a good picture.
According to all accounts, the first official training camp practice had gone well. Unfortunately, the locker room interviews began a little earlier than expected. As captain, Adrian was the last to leave the ice…which meant he was the last out of the showers.
And just as the players had to acclimate to their new locker room, the media had to adjust to their new digs too. One careless pan of the camera later, and Adrian’s talent became the most notable picture shared on social media.