“We sneak away. Go back to my place.”
“Why yours?”
“Because my place is closer.”
He smirked. “Is that what you want?”
Hell if I knew anymore.
I wanted to feel that closeness again. I craved him. All of him. His kiss. His touch. His dominating cock.
A party was fun and all, but crashing into bed and delighting each other in a frenzy of wild, uninhibited sex was more…
Exciting.
Titillating.
…Natural.
And maybe, if in those unrelenting moments of pure pleasure, I happened to confess those confusing, wonderful feelings, he could help.
Who knew? We might’ve laughed about it. Realized how silly we were being. How ridiculous it was to even consider anything romantic between the two of us.
Or…
Or maybe he could reveal his own feelings too?
“No harm in spending a little time in bed.” I slid into his arms and leaned into another kiss. “Maybe we’ll spend a lot of time there.”
“Are you that insatiable?”
“Well, yes…and who knows when I’ll actually get pregnant. We might be going at it for a long, long time.”
Adrian stiffened. “What do you mean?”
“The more trouble we have, the more nights I spend in your arms.”
Adrian shifted away. A cold rush of air suddenly separated us, and I shivered in the chill.
“What do you mean, trouble?” His eyes darkened. “We’re not having any trouble.”
Three months with no results?
“Well, what would you call it?” I shrugged. “I’m not pregnant yet.”
“And that’s my fault?”
I flinched at the sharpness in his voice.
Was I that bad at flirting? Had I pissed him off?
“No, it’s not your fault,” I said. “It’s no one’s fault. We’re doing everything right. But if were having a little trouble, it’s no big deal. We can keep trying. It doesn’t sound that bad to me…”
Adrian’s entire body tensed. He walked away from me—his steps crushing the gravel beneath his feet.
He spoke through gritted teeth. “We are not having trouble conceiving.”
Uh-oh. Last thing I wanted to do was pressure him. “It’s okay. Any couple could expect to have a few issues—”
“There are no issues.”
“Adrian.”
“And there won’t be any issues. I told you I would get this done. For Christ’s sake, Clover. I’m asking for a little faith.”
His voice rose, and I reached for him. He didn’t take my hand.
“I do have faith in you,” I said.
“Doesn’t sound like it.”
“What the hell’s gotten into you?”
Adrian set his jaw as the fire fighters called an all-clear and the alarm turned off. The banquet guests slowly filed into the hotel once more.
“I can’t leave tonight.” The finality in his voice shook me. “I’ve got a lot of people I’m supposed to meet. Pictures to take. And after a day like today, I need to foster all the goodwill I can.”
“Sure,” I nodded. “I get it. We’ll leave whenever you want.”
He re-buttoned his suit. “I don’t know how long I’ll be here. You should go home.”
“Without you?”
“There’s a lot to do, and I’m gonna have to call Leah Carson to sort this shit out. It’ll be a late night.”
I didn’t like the sound of that. My stomach pitted, and I regretted drinking so much champagne before the appetizers.
“Right.” I sucked in a breath. “Well, I won’t mind if you wake me up—”
“Not tonight.”
Sounded a lot like not ever.
I crossed my arms to take the edge off the chill. It did nothing. Suddenly the parking lot felt very large, and his rejection made me feel all the smaller.
“This is training camp.” Adrian chastised me like he would a child. “I gotta get up early. Wouldn’t make sense to waste our time screwing around.”
“Waste our time?”
“I should get in there and make sure the guys aren’t causing trouble.” Adrian refused to even look at me. “I’ll talk to you…later.”
The pit in my stomach grew, churning and grinding and leaving me a shaky, sick mess.
“Okay…” I tried to keep my voice light. Failed. “I’ll text you.”
He didn’t answer.
Simply stalked away.
And I cursed myself for being such an idiot.
Why was Adrian so damned sensitive about the pregnancy? And how was I supposed to comfort him when the same thing terrified me?
This arrangement had spiraled out of control. Suddenly, it was more than just a baby. More than just sex.
More than just Adrian’s simmering anger.
For as long as we’ve been friends, we’d been able to overcome anything. But this? This was a dangerous road, one paved with fear, uncertainty, and potholes of hidden truths.
The last thing I wanted was to hurt the one man I loved most in the world.
But what would happen to us if I didn’t get pregnant?
19
Adrian
Clover was fertile again.
And I had no fucking idea what to expect.
How was a man supposed to show up at his best friend’s house, demand she strip, and then fuck the shit out of her while pretending nothing was wrong?
Because everything was wrong.
With me. With her. With us.
And the worst was how I felt about her. That uncompromising, painful, twisted fucking love that consumed every part of me. She was my exhale. The second beat of my heart. She was the reason I was me. Because long ago, she saw the man I could be—a successful, compassionate, honest man—and I refused to ever disappoint her.
And that feeling, that selfishness, would ruin our lives.
It had been months since my injury, and I assumed that my balls were healed.
Turned out, I’d lost them.
And myself.
And whatever control I had over my life, my relationships, and my team.
Guilt, frustration, and impatience poisoned me. I wish it had destroyed my desire for Clover, but unfortunately, those feelings burned hotter than ever.
Lust possessed my mind, and the unconscionable need to worship and defile Clover disgusted me. But what man could resist a beautiful and insatiable woman offering her fertility to him every night?
It’d been idiotic to take her up on the offer, but I never would’ve forgiven myself if I had refused her—even if I had reservations.
Concerns.
Fears.
But maybe none of it would matter.
If I got her pregnant, it would all resolve. No more secrets. No more guilt. No more whispers about my health.
No more fucking feelings destroying everything.
The baby would simplify it all.
We could be together without question, without revealing those complicated and confusing emotions. We’d never speak of it again. Wouldn’t have to—not when we could enjoy a life together. Just me, her, a baby.
It’d be selfish to want anything more.
I drove to her house with the radio on. That was my first mistake. The second was listening to Sports Nation.