“Tasting?” We smiled when they heard our voice but saw my lips didn’t move. “I like the sound of that.”
“This is a sickness…” My smile got wider as the hammer rose, about to fall. “I’m elf-struck, but I don’t know how I could be. I ache for you every damn minute of the day. I’m so fucking hard…”
“Show me. I want to see that so much.”
Mark rose from his chair, brushing off his colleagues’ hands and walking around the table to take my outstretched one. It wasn’t Lilith’s, my claws receded, leaving just mine that wrapped around his, not wanting to let him go.
I’d never had the ‘reconcile yourself with an ex’ experience, but that’s what this felt like. He’d been so hot and growly and I’d wanted him so much and he’d been jerked out of my grip, right when I felt I could hold a candle to all that muscly, Sam Heughan goodness. I remembered his harsh words before I’d left the estate, the cool weight of his gaze when we went on tour, but that was nothing compared to this—Mark was flayed open, every defence torn down, and damn me if I didn’t want to rush into the unguarded territory.
“You ready for that adventure now?” I asked instead, my voice breaking on the variation of the words I’d said back in Gisbourne.
“Ever since that fucking kiss. I was yours the whole damn time. I fought it. Fuck, I fought it. Used every damn trick I could think of. It bought me a bit of time, but when you came…”
My heart and my cunt clenched at that, at the ragged sound of his voice, of the surrender in his body. He dropped down to his knees by my chair, my hand going to those long sandy strands, just touching them for a moment before burying myself in that thick fall of hair.
“I remember when I came.” The words were just a murmur, but his eyes jerked up, pupils flaring when he recognised what I’d said. “It was the kiss at the lookout?”
He nodded, those grey eyes narrowing for a moment. “I shouldn’t have chanced it. The talk about the estate was that you were latent, wouldn’t have transitioned, but you did. You became so much more than they expected. I assume that’s when it happened.” A long sigh shuddered out of him. “I’ve been mad for you, smelling your scent even when you were a world away, seeing you in crowds, feeling your fingers on my skin. Every fucking day since then, I’ve ached…”
I ran those selfsame fingers through the stubble on his chin, and his eyes fell closed, rolling his face into the hollow of my palm.
“There was no deliberate attempt to enthrall, sir. I tried to keep a lid on it, Paulie will attest to that when you interrogate him. I dreamed of her every night, rode the nightmare of the bond into the ground until last night. She came because I called with everything I had.” He reached into his jacket pocket, tossing a small gold pin on the table. “I tender my resignation as of immediately. I should have done it well before now, but I thought… I’m sorry, sir.”
Ashanti was graceful in victory, not saying anything and shaking her head when her contingent went to, maintaining silence until grey hair spoke.
“So this has been… You were…” He couldn’t finish his sentences, the man’s icy control yanking him back and shutting his mouth before it could all come out. “Dammit, man, if you’d come to us early enough, we might have been able to break her hold on you.”
“But I didn’t. Doesn’t that tell you something?” Mark found it hard to look at me. I’d been the cat staring at way too many of the beautiful people, so I knew that closed down expression well. “I chose her anyway. Before she transitioned, before any of this, and now I’m owning my choice.”
“Yes, well…” Grey hair’s attention switched to Ashanti. “If you’re attempting the goddess trials, then we should have been alerted. There is to be a sentinel presence at all ascension attempts. You know that.”
“As the last one was over two thousand years ago, you’ll forgive us for this lapse in protocol,” she replied drily. “But as always, the rooms set aside for those of your number are open and ready. If you wish to leave someone here?”
He glanced back at the men surrounding him, his mouth jerking down when he looked at purple stole. “Morrison, you can stay,” he said to another bloke in a suit. “You’ve no family to report back to.”
A tall man with short dark hair nodded. “I’d be honoured, sir. I’ll keep you posted on former Agent Sullivan as well.” He gestured to where Mark crouched by me.
“Very good. Let head office know what you need, and a courier will bring it through. Ashanti.”
All she received was the briefest of head nods as he got to his feet, the rest of his crew rising with him, some more enthusiastically than others. I smiled as they scrambled away, but grey hair paused, looking from me to Ashanti.
“For the record, I think this is a mistake. The trouble she’s caused with Rutherglen is evidence enough of that.” His lips firmed when she gave no response. “Letting anyone have that kind of power, let alone a silly little girl who’s messing with forces well beyond her reckoning—”
“Then we had better educate her to the best of our abilities then, hadn’t we Commander Rochester? A reckoning is coming. If it’s not Kira, another will take her place. The goddess rises.”
“The same goddess that had men castrating themselves in religious fervour, who took sacrifices of men, women, and children. You might have a revisionist view of her power—”
“No revision, no editing.” Ashanti smiled in the face of grey hair’s scowl, my mouth doing the same. “But thank you for your time. I’ll make sure Agent Morrison is settled in personally.”
I got to my feet when he and the rest of the sentinels left, feeling almost shy when Mark rose at the same time. There was something about proximity to any of the guys. Like there was a point where you could almost feel them against your skin, their shadows containing weight, pricking at your awareness, making sure this was what you wanted, and when you decided it was, it all came rushing in. The memory of their touch and the craving for more. The desire to end the tension, close the gap, press your body against his, hoping his arms will go around you too. Nothing that happened here cancelled out what had gone on with Luc, with Johnno, with Marlow, Aen, Jake, or Billy. I was exquisitely attuned to each one of them, feeling them, needing them as soon as I was close.
But with Mark, I wasn’t entirely sure of how well received I’d be.
His eyes followed me, followed my movements, watching Aen brush my hair to one side with a hungry gaze, a slight frown forming as I felt my lover’s kiss.
“What would you have of us?” Aen asked in a low whisper.
“I…”
“Consorts have rooms to go to for a reason. So we might have a place to retreat to. To make space for others.”
“I can’t tell anyone to come or go,” I hissed back. I didn’t know why, but for some reason, that idea was painful to me.
“Then everyone will need to fend for themselves, won’t they? Coming, Mark?”
I squeezed his hand when he looked concerned about what Aen was offering.