“Veronica, what’s wrong?” Immediately her tone softens.
“I lied to you.”
I hear her intake of breath, “About what?”
“Can I come over?”
“Of course.”
It’s not too far to walk. It actually only takes me about fifteen minutes, but it doesn’t matter because, by the time I get there, I’m a wreck. It could’ve been fifteen minutes or five, I still would’ve shown up in the same state.
As I knock on her door, I suddenly hope that she hasn’t got company. I can’t deal with people right now, nor do I want to embarrass myself even further. Walking down the street and blubbering so hard that you trip and skin your knee is embarrassing enough.
For fuck’s sake. I only just met the man!
Sometimes you just need an ugly meltdown in peace.
Katie swings the door open, her freshly dyed red hair glistening under the sunshine.
“Oh, my god! Come in,” she ushers me inside.
“I don’t even know why I’m so emotional, I only met the guy a week ago.”
“Catch me up, what guy?”
In her empty living room, I throw myself down onto the couch and groan. “The one I lied to you about.”
I peek an eye open to see she’s still looking confused. Oh right, because we don’t and never have lied to each other.
“At the Christmas party last week, I met someone. I went home with him that night. It was such an un-me-like thing to do that I knew you’d start worrying and thinking that I’m going through some great depression - and that’s why I lied.”
“Tell me about him.”
“His name is Hayden...Carmichael. He grew up in Naperville with his mom, dad, and three brothers. His mom died in a car accident while he was in high school. He’s a lawyer, he worked at some swanky law firm in Chicago for a while but moved back here about a year ago. He’s utterly gorgeous and I can tell you for a fact he’s the best sex I will ever have.” I huff out a breath, I may have gotten caught up in my own mind while talking. I look to Katie to see a weird look masking her face. “What’s with the face?”
“How long did you say you’ve known this guy?”
“About a week.”
“Aww,” she coos while taking the seat next to me on the couch. “Someone’s in looooooove.”
She goes to pinch my cheeks, but I slap away her hands. What the hell?
“Katie, you can’t fall in love in a week.”
“And yet, there’s such a thing as love at first sight. Explain that?”
“It-” Her question stumps me. She has a point there that I can’t argue. Katie says that her Evan swears it was love at first sight, at least for him. But it’s different for me, there has to be a reasonable explanation. There always is.
“I… I’ve never been in love before.” Maybe this wasn’t love, maybe it was simply lust. It’s said that it’s easy to confuse the two.
“What is love? Like… how do you know if you’re in love?”
“Aww, sweetie. You know what love is. It’s that warm feeling inside your heart every time you’re around them. It’s when all rationality flies out the window - forever. It makes you crazy, but it’s also the reason you stay with him.”
She sighs dreamily once again. I know she’s thinking about Evan as she speaks but hearing her words, they make her lovesick puppy persona not as annoying as usual. She shrugs, “That’s just my take, I’m sure everyone will have their own.”
I push myself deeper into the couch, needing a minute to collect my thoughts.
I’ve never understood how it can be so hard to read your own body - your mind and heart - but reading words on a screen is a cakewalk.
We must sit there in silence for five minutes, maybe more, before I turn to her. “What do I do?”
“Sorry, I can’t tell you that. Hell, I don’t even know what happened, but all I can say is, listen to your heart...”
Oh, right. We hadn’t even got to that part of the story.
“And you let me know if I need to kick anyone’s ass.” She’s dead serious, but I wouldn’t have expected anything less from my fiery redheaded cousin.
I stand to leave knowing, if nothing else, that this situation will need time.
Pausing at the doorway, I can’t help myself as I swing back around. “Be honest. Do you think Lane has feelings for me?”
“What?” Her eyes widen with surprise, “where is this coming from?”
“It appears that Hayden is the jealous type.”
“Oh. Now I’m starting to put some pieces together. Honestly? I’d never considered it before; he was always just kind of your on-again-off-again best friend. Now that you’ve mentioned it, I suppose it’s possible.”
“That’s what I was afraid of hearing.”
“Sorry, babe. But also, you won’t know the truth until you hear it from him.”
...And that’s just what I plan to do.
10
Veronica
“Merry Christmas, darling.”
“Merry Christmas, Mom. Where’s Dad?”
“Still asleep, of course. I expect him to be hungover this morning, he and your uncle had a few too many last night.”
“My God. How long were you over at Uncle Tim’s?”
“Not long.” Mom tsks in disapproval while I giggle.
“It’s Christmas, what are you gonna do?” I pour myself a cup of coffee, wanting to quickly get out of Mom’s way. The kitchen bench tops are full; she’s got a lot to do for Christmas dinner.
“Do you want any help?” I ask the question as if I don’t already know that she’ll refuse.
“No, your aunt’s coming over soon with Katie. You should go get dressed though.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Coffee in hand, I hustle my ass upstairs. I walk into my childhood bedroom to find my outfit laid on the chair, all nice and neat, just how I left it last night. I put my cup on the bedside table and click my phone on.
After I left Katie’s yesterday, I came straight home and switched the mocking device off. I didn’t want to deal with the outside world, I also didn’t want to chance any calls or messages from… well, anyone.
Sure enough, there’s a few missed calls from Katie last night, and a couple of text messages from this morning. Instead of responding, I replace my phone on the table and begin getting ready.
After pulling on my clothes, I consider changing my outfit altogether. Apparently, the last month of emotional eating has not done me any good. Quite the opposite, my pants are tighter than feels comfortable.
It doesn’t worry me too much; my figure can handle the extra few pounds.
“Veronica, stop fluffing your hair and get down here.” I laugh at the sound of Aunt Mae’s voice traveling up the stairs. I slip on my shoes before rushing downstairs. My aunt waits for me at the bottom of the staircase with open arms. “You’re just more gorgeous every time I see you.”
Katie giggles and huffs under her breath, “I wish.”
I roll my eyes and give in to my Aunt’s embrace. “Merry Christmas.”