Luke had inexplicably become her anchor but they were caught in forbidden waters.
She was newly widowed, swollen with another man’s baby.
And yet she could not deny the completion of his embrace, the authenticity of his affection.
A rumble hummed in his chest as he adjusted his head, drawing them closer, heightening the intimacy between them.
She yearned for these feelings to go on forever. This connection. This… rightness.
Because once it was over, they would have to face the impossibility of it ever happening again. They’d have to acknowledge the kiss as nothing more than a mistake. Because where could they go from here?
Is it a mistake?
Or was it the best thing that could happen to her? She’d made so many mistakes in the past year. Mistakes that had cost her her family, her reputation.
Luke sighed and their lips separated with a soft kiss. The loss made her feel like crying.
He didn’t release her right away but instead tucked her head beneath his chin. “It doesn’t need to make sense for now. Nothing does.”
He was so sweet—too good to be true. Naomi trailed her hand down his arm and a tremor ran through his solid frame. And then she pressed her face into his neck and inhaled. Leathery, spicy, and masculine. Raw.
Real.
What was happening?
Chapter Eight
Luke kept one hand on the ribbons but rested his other on the bench, lost in the fabric of her skirts, cradling her much smaller hand between them. He’d told her that none of this needed to make sense right now, and he’d meant it. Because although he understood exactly what was happening and knew exactly what he wanted, it wasn’t fair to think she did the same.
Luke had been attracted to her in London but he hadn’t expected he would feel the same seeing her again. And God help him, this wasn’t the same. This was more powerful, far more compelling than what he’d felt for her before.
He’d come to Milton Cottage as a gesture to honor Gil’s memory. If he’d done so for any other reason, he wasn’t sure he could live with himself. He’d wanted to kiss her last spring but then she’d gone and fallen in love with his oldest friend.
Luke rubbed his thumb along the back of her hand.
Gil was dead, gone forever, and yet not for the first time, Luke was having misgivings as to what kind of man his friend had really been.
Luke was not mistaken in that he had informed Gil of his intentions to court Naomi immediately after the garden party. Because after spending those few moments alone with her, rowing her around the picturesque little pond, Luke had already believed himself halfway in love with Miss Naomi Augustine. He’d wanted to shout it from the rooftops. Instead, he’d gone to his friend.
He dared not admit even to himself the feelings he had for her now, after spending the last two weeks seeing her every day. And he dared not hope that he hadn’t ruined everything by kissing her.
“Am I a horrible person?” Her voice sounded small beside him. “Are we?”
“We haven’t done anything wrong.” He cleared his throat, wondering what he could do to keep her from berating herself. He didn’t want her considering the affection between them wicked or sinful in any way.
Gil was gone and God willing, he and Naomi had long lives ahead of them. But Luke needed to exercise patience. Rushing into something now could cast a shadow on the future they might share.
Her reputation mattered to him. Far more than his own. He would do whatever he could to protect it, even if that meant denying himself now.
“You’ve suffered a great loss, not just recently, but with the rejection of your family last spring. It’s only natural that you needed comforting.” He tried not to stumble over his words.
She nodded beside him. “Is that what that was between the two of us? Comforting?”
He’d already burdened her with too much today. She must take the time to mourn Gil before giving her affection to another. “It cannot be easy for you. Any of this.”
If he was going to win her love, he must exercise patience. She’d suffered a scandal, the loss of her family’s support, and now Gil’s death. Now was not the time to saddle her with his own selfish desires.
Indeed, a simple kiss did not need to make sense right now. She’d needed comforting, and he’d been there to hold her.
If only his heart would accept such an explanation. That kiss had surpassed all his expectations.
“You are a good friend, Lucas Cockfield. I don’t know what I would have done without you these past few weeks.” She touched swollen belly. “I don’t know what we would have done without you.”
Ah, yes. She would require a good deal of time. In less than half a year, she had become a wife, then a widow, and soon she would be a mother.
He would wait. He could be patient.
He relinquished her hand as they drove into the small village of Hull Crossings and parked at the end of the small cluster of buildings lined up along the single road through town. Before he could even jump down to come around and assist Naomi, a boy of about eleven or twelve was offering to watch the horse. Luke wasn’t concerned anyone would steal Naomi’s old pony in this sleepy little hamlet, but Luke tossed the boy a coin, nonetheless.
It was the most natural thing in the world to place his hand on her back as they approached the various storefronts. His desire to protect her and the baby she carried had become powerful. How would he feel if the child was his? He shoved the question away without answering it.
“I’ve only come to town a few times,” Naomi offered. “It’s quiet compared to the village near Somerhill House, my father’s home.”
If he remembered correctly, she’d grown up not far from Suffolk.
This particular village was inordinately sleepy. Almost as though it had been forgotten by the rest of the world.
A bell rang when Luke pushed open the door to Mr. Clapwell’s mercantile and echoed as he held it wide for Naomi to enter.
“Once you’re finished, meet me in front with your selections.” He’d allow her time to look around while he located the supplies he would need for the next few days. She might appreciate time to simply browse. His sisters seemed to enjoy doing just that in London far more than making actual purchases.
Why hadn’t she ventured to town more often?
Although the tavern at the posting inn could become raucous late at night, the establishment boasted a few private dining rooms where Gil could have brought her out to share a meal. A person couldn’t spend all of their time hiding away in the country, could they?
Hearing the bell ring again, Luke glanced up in time to see another young woman enter and look around. He could just make out ebony hair tucked beneath her bonnet and she seemed oddly familiar.
The exaggerated sway to her hips jolted his memory. She was the barmaid who’d attempted to… provide him with… entertainment of a sensual nature several times since his stay. Bridget, if he recalled correctly.
When the young woman caught sight of Naomi, who was perusing fabrics near the front window, the woman froze. Naomi glanced up and offered a tentative smile.
Naomi must miss the company of other ladies. In London, she’d not only attracted the gentlemen, but she’d been popular with several of the other young women in society.