“I know, buddy. Hang on.” I undo his restraints, then lift him out, and he’s taken off as fast as his tiny legs will carry him. Bub lifts him into a tight embrace, planting kisses all over his face.
They’ve missed them almost as much as I have.
The kids belong here with us all.
Of that, I have no doubt.
I move to the trunk, where Jovie’s messing about with the luggage. “You doing okay?”
“You know what? Seeing the way those kids just lit up, yeah… yeah, I’m doing just great.”
I lean in planting a quick kiss on her lips, grab two suitcases, and she takes a duffle bag as we head toward the clubhouse. Sadie’s running around with Mack as Lucas and the prospect, Blake, have already started playing chasey.
Zero strides up to Jovie and me, gripping my shoulder. “It’s good to see them doing so well, brother. How are you? You happy?”
My eyes take in Jovie, then shift to my kids, who are as content as a pig in mud right now. I wrap my arm around Jovie. “Yeah, yeah, I am.”
Savanah rushes to Jovie’s side. “Holy shit, guys. I heard what happened. That was intense, but I’m glad everyone is okay.” She leans in, embracing Jovie.
For the first time, I look at the clubhouse like I’m one hundred percent in the place I am meant to be. I always felt like there was a part of me missing. But my children’s grandparents are here, my children are here, my extended family is here. So how else could I see this clubhouse as anything other than my home? Nothing is missing because everything I could ever want is right here at my fingertips.
I pull Jovie to me tighter, kissing the top of her head.
Yeah, everything I want is right here.
The day was calm. It was so freaking good to have the kids back at the clubhouse. We set up their bedroom, we sat and ate lunch and dinner, doing stuff as a family, as a clubhouse. Everyone was welcoming, even Wraith, who I was a little worried about, but considering he has a baby on the way, it seems to have softened him toward kids, which is good.
But now, I have to admit I’m worried how their first night will go being away from Ethan’s home. In a new place, out of familiar surroundings, and after a traumatic event. They don’t appear to be traumatized by it so far. They’re not bringing it up or acting differently, but it doesn’t mean it’s not in there subconsciously, ready to come out at any time.
It’s almost bedtime for the kids. I feel like I’m more anxious than they are. Jovie and I are in their room as they change into their pajamas, and I pull Jovie aside. “What do you think about them falling asleep in my bed, then we’ll move them? I just worry about—”
“I’m totally fine with it, Kevlar. Honestly, they need you right now. Even if they don’t know it.”
My muscles relax, and my pulse beats a little faster for her. She’s so fucking understanding. “You’re amazing. You know that?”
She turns to the kids. “Change of plans, who wants a sleepover?”
Sadie’s ears pick up, and she turns dramatically to face us.
“I do, I do,” Lucas chimes emphatically.
“Okay, then let’s go to your dad’s room, and we can all get cozy.”
“Yay! Can I bring Moo?” Sadie asks.
“Of course, baby girl.”
Sadie reaches for her rabbit, then we all head next door to our room. We enter, and the kids go running for the queen-size bed. It’s gonna be a tight fit, but we’ll make it work.
“Right, kids in the middle,” I tell them.
They jump in under the covers as I get undressed into my white tee and briefs. Jovie moves into the bathroom to get changed into her pajamas. I slide into the side of the bed next to Sadie, and she turns, gripping hold of me like she never wants to let me go. “I love you, Daddy.”
“I love you, too, baby girl. I missed you both so much. I’m so glad you’re back here with me.”
“Me, too,” Lucas offers.
I reach over, scruffing his hair as Jovie comes out of the bathroom, flicking off the light.
“Turn on the l… l… light,” Lucas yells, sitting up in the bed dramatically.
Every muscle in my body seizes as Jovie flicks the bathroom light back on while I reach over to grab Lucas to calm him.
Jovie rushes over to the bed, jumping in beside him. He spins out of my arms, slamming into Jovie for comfort. She widens her eyes as she embraces him. I’m not offended he’s searching for a mother figure. If Jovie can be that for him, then I’m okay with it if she is.
She smooths his hair down while rocking him back and forth. “It’s okay, Lucas, we’ll leave the light on. You’re okay, little big man.”
He sniffles as he clings to her, but she slides down into the bed, pulling him in tight. He cuddles into her, and she rests him against her to comfort him. “It’s okay. Try to go to sleep. We’re all here. We’re all safe. Daddy’s here. I’m here. Sadie’s here. And we’re not going to let anything happen to you, okay?”
“Yeah, we’re a team, Lucas,” Sadie offers.
My heart swells.
“Love you, Lucas.”
“Love you, Dad.”
“Good night.” I cuddle into Sadie.
My eyes meet with Jovie’s. Hers are sad and glistening. We don’t need to say anything to know that we’re thinking the same thing.
Lucas has not come out of this unscathed. I have no idea what kind of trauma this has put him through, but we will get through it.
Together.
A soft whimpering seeps its way into my ears. I can’t quite make out what it is until a cry out in terror jerks me awake. I sit up, accidentally bringing Sadie with me as she begins to cry. Lucas writhes through his terror as I cuddle into Sadie, trying to calm her, while Jovie clings to Lucas, who’s still fast asleep and screaming through his nightmare.
“Shh… Lucas, c’mon, buddy, wake up,” Jovie coos softly into his ear while I run my hands up and down Sadie’s arms to try and calm her. “You’re okay, Sadie, everything’s okay, baby girl.”
“Daddy…” she whimpers, clinging to me. My heart tears to shreds at the worried expression on her face for her brother as Lucas finally wakes with a start.
He gasps as he jerks, then notices Jovie and pushes into her arms. I weakly smile as she rocks him, cradling him to her, her fingers running through his hair. “Shh… you’re okay. It was just a dream. You’re safe.”
“I was so c… c… cold.”
Anger flares inside me as I grit my teeth.
I’m gonna find that motherfucker and gut them like a fish!
“Are you warm now?” I ask. He slowly nods. “Then, see… you’re fine. You’ll never be cold like that again, okay?”
Sadie clings to my shirt, making me look back down at her. “It was scary, Daddy.”
It’s like the floor drops out from under me.
Since Sadie was born, all I’ve wanted is for my children to feel safe, protected, and loved.
I wasn’t there for them.
They’ve been through something horrific, and I couldn’t help them.
However, I can’t spend my time thinking about shit like this. Right now, I need to take care of them. For as long as they need me, even when I am old and gray, I will always be there for them.