KEVLAR
It’s funny the way life works out.
You meet the woman of your dreams, and you fall madly, deeply, irrevocably in love—despite the odds.
She was the lone daughter of a biker. His princess. Me, I was the young cop working on patrol when I came across the club.
She was untouchable.
I was untrustworthy in their eyes.
For us to be together was frowned upon not only by the force but by the club.
Though, somehow, we made it work. Dating for a couple of years before her father finally declared I couldn’t be a cop and be involved with a member of the club.
I had to choose—the force or Emma.
There was no choice.
We were married a year later.
One year after that, Sadie was born.
Soon after, I was officially patched in.
It was inevitable.
The moment I laid eyes on Emma, I was done for. Even though in the eyes of my captain father and my lieutenant brother, I was a failure to the long line of Rudd family policemen. I was an outcast. I’d brought shame to the name, but I didn’t care. I had my own family, and that was all that mattered.
We were happy.
Fuck, we were happy.
I had no clue someone like me, a man who always obeyed the rules and was brought up in a strict family environment, could learn to be an outlaw and love the life. Fox and Bub showed me even though converting from a cop to a 1%er was seen as rebellious, it didn’t mean I’m not still a decent human being, a great husband, and a fucking amazing father to our kids.
Yeah, it’s funny the way life works out because I never saw it coming.
My life in the club was set.
Emma and I would grow old together, raising Sadie and Lucas.
Emma’s parents, Fox and Bub, were along for the ride, and the entire club backed us and our decision to be together as a family.
Until the news broke.
I thought I had more time.
Hell, I thought I had a fucking lifetime.
My fingers gripped tighter onto Emma’s boney hand as she laid in the hospital bed. Her usual gorgeous chocolate-colored eyes were closed as she rested her weary, weathered body.
When I met Emma, she was this stunning, vivacious woman. So full of life. Such a gentle soul. Now I couldn’t even be sure her soul was still inside her.
Bub softly wept as she clung to Fox on the other side of the bed.
Our kids weren’t there.
My brother, Ethan, had them.
They shouldn’t have to witness their mom like this. I wanted their memories filled with their mother smiling at them, telling them how much she loved them.
Not this—not this shell.
Emma’s still the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen, but she had faded away so much she was hard to recognize. My stomach churned with every slow gasp her throat inhaled, and I knew it was only a matter of time.
I leaned closer, pressing my lips against her arm. Her pale skin already chilly. It made me fucking sick to my stomach. “It’s okay, Em… we’re here with you. We’re not going anywhere.”
Fox sat forward, placing his hand on the blanket over her shin. “That’s right, baby girl, we’ll be here the entire time, all three of us. In fact, the whole club is here, out in the waiting room…”
“We all love you, Em,” Bub added, sniffling while wiping her face again.
I shifted my chair a little closer. “If you’re holding on for us, don’t! As much as I never want to let you go…” My throat clogged up, so I cleared it, my eyes welling with tears as my body began to shudder. “I need you to be free, to be dancing again, like the first time I saw you… remember that?”
Emma’s pinky twitched against my hand ever so slightly. I exhaled, taking it as a sign. It might just be one of her muscle twitches, but I was going to take it as her hearing me. “You were so carefree and happy that night. The club was being rowdy at a bar making a scene, and you were there dancing away while the brothers were brawling.”
Fox’s graying beard lifted with a sign of happiness. “Best damn day of our lives, Kevlar. You walking in that day on the beat was the greatest thing to happen to our Emma.”
I leaned down to plant a kiss on her forehead. “She’s the best thing to ever happen to me. She and our kids.”
Emma gasped, her breathing coming a little faster than normal. The monitor showed her heart rate slowing. My adrenaline surged as I brought Emma’s hand to my lips, kissing it. “We’re right here, Em. I love you. I will always love you.”
Fox and Bub shifted forward, placing their hands on her too. Emma’s face didn’t change, but her breathing slowed. My stomach churned in anxiety as I watched the love of my life fade away before my very eyes.
“Em,” I whimpered as her mouth opened, and she let out one last breath.
The machine gave a lone beep, then the green line went flat on the screen. My eyes overflowed with tears as the nurse quietly turned off the machine, then walked out of the room.
Just. Like. That.
My head fell to Emma’s stomach as I cried. I’m not ashamed to say I’d never felt more lost in my life. I have no fucking clue what my life looked like without Emma. To be perfectly honest, I didn’t want a life without her.
I let out a sob as a hand splayed out on my back. “We’ll get through this, son. You’re a part of a wide family. No matter what,” Fox stated.
But I couldn’t find the strength to care at that moment.
My wife was gone.
She fought like hell for the last year, but nothing prepared me for this moment. The agony I would feel. The idea my two kids would have to live their lives without a mother.
Nothing could prepare you for that.
With my heart feeling like it had lodged in my throat, I glanced up at Em. My eyes foggy from the saltwater spilling over.
Fuck! I didn’t know what the hell to do.
How the fuck to feel.
I leaned down, pressing my lips to Emma’s.
There was nothing.
No spark.
No life.
Nothing but fucking bitterness hit me square in the chest.
So, I pulled back, wiped my face, then stood to storm for the door.
“Kevlar, where are you going?” Fox questioned.
I didn’t reply.
“Liam, we need to mourn together. What about the kids?” Bub called out as I rushed out the door.
I couldn’t.
I couldn’t fucking do anything right then.
With my head fuzzing in and out, I made my way down the hall.
I couldn’t even tell what was real.
Upon entering the waiting area, all my brothers stood, and their eyes fell.
Neon was the first to reach me, his hand coming out to grip my shoulder, but I shoved out of his grasp. “Don’t fucking touch me!”
Frenzy stepped up, his calming demeanor didn’t seem to be all that effective. “Kevlar, what can we do?”
“Pres, I’m taking off. Will you make sure Fox and Bub are okay and get someone to check in on my kids… I just… I can’t. Right now, I just—”
“Go! Go wherever you need to, Kevlar. Clear your head. We’ll be here when you come back. We’re your family, don’t you forget that.”
“Emma loved New Orleans. I was meant to take her there again after Lucas was born. We never got around to it…” I trailed off.