I widen my eyes. Honestly, the thought hadn’t even occurred to me, but now she’s brought it up, I guess it would be amazing to have one of our own, but I have no clue if he is even open to it.
“I see that look, now you’re overthinking. Don’t let it. If you want to have a kid with him, talk it over. Don’t mull on it until it becomes an issue, okay? You guys are perfect for each other, don’t do anything to ruin that.”
I grip her hands tighter. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Go on…”
“Kevlar claimed me as his Old Lady.”
“What! And you didn’t tell me.” She slaps my shoulder, shoving me backward with a laugh.
I love her excitement. “There was just so much happening… I needed to find some quiet time to talk to you personally because you mean everything to me. I wanted to make sure you knew you’re still my person. Just because I’m practically tied down doesn’t mean I won’t have time for you.”
Savanah’s eyes fill with tears.
“Oh damn, I knew you’d be worried about this.”
She wipes her face. “No, honestly, I am so happy for you. I’m just so fucking sad I have to leave.”
I jerk back, a slight gasp leaving my mouth while I stare at her. “What? Why?”
“My dad called.”
“Sav, don’t let him manipulate you. You knew he would try to get you back there with them.”
She wipes another fat tear falling down her cheek. “It’s Mom… she has stage four pancreatic cancer.”
“What? No!” I shift closer to her.
Savanah clears her throat, and I pull her to me in a tight embrace. “I wasn’t there when she was diagnosed, Jovie. I wasn’t there!”
My eyes well as I pull back. “Don’t you do that. Don’t you start blaming yourself. I’ll come with you. I’ll come back to San Antonio, and we will—”
“Stop! No, you won’t. You have a family now. You have a life here… at the club. I love you so much, but I won’t have you leave it all for me.”
“I’ll come for a little while, help you through—”
“Jovie Marie Hannon! Kevlar needs you here. He, Sadie, and Lucas are your top priority now. Honestly, I need to deal with this shit with my father. Spend what time I have left with my mom. I’ve had my fun, it’s time to get serious.”
Tears stream down my face as I pull her to me again. “I’m so sorry, Sav. I wish there were something I could do.”
“You can. Call me every single day. Tell me how your life is going. What’s happening here? I want to know everything, so I can live vicariously through you.”
I pull back with a nod. “I will. I want to be kept up to date, too. When the time comes and… you need me, I’ll come back, even if it is only for a few days. Let me be there for you, okay, Sav. Please?”
She bursts into full, snot bubbling, river-flowing tears.
“You’re okay, let it all out. I’m not going anywhere. Tonight is about you and me.”
“I love you, Jovie,” Savanah murmurs through her tears.
“I love you, too.”
As she rocks with her emotions, I hold her to me. She’s falling apart, and I hate I won’t be there to pick up the pieces when she’s like this back in San Antonio. She’s leaving, and a part of me is leaving with her. We have never been separated, but I guess life has a way of changing. When one great thing comes, it takes away something amazing.
Savanah’s going back to a destroyed family. I can’t help but feel guilty about being so happy that I have found my home and family here at the Houston Defiance clubhouse.
I just wish Sav could have found her happiness here too.
JOVIE
The Next Day
It was difficult saying goodbye to Savanah. I’ve never cried so much. I’m just so fucking glad I have Kevlar here to support me. I’m wrecked inside that Savanah has no one helping her through this. The guilt weighs heavily on me, and I can feel the tremendous load pushing on my shoulders. However, there is little I can do other than to check in on her every single day and do what she wanted me to do—live my life. That’s all she wants is for me to be happy. Maybe, once everything settles with her mom, she can come back.
That’s what I am hoping, anyway.
Kevlar pulls me to his chest as we cuddle on the bed. The kids are at Ethan and Lou’s for the afternoon, giving Kevlar and me some time together. Kevlar told Ethan, Savanah was leaving, and Ethan offered to take the kids to give us some much-needed time to just be.
I didn’t realize how much I needed it.
Kevlar holds me to him while stroking my hair. “So, I did something before Savanah left, and it will give her a reason to come back to town in a few months.”
I look up at him. “Cryptic?”
“I bought four VIP tickets to see Rush in Houston. I thought you, me, Sav, and someone else could come along. It’s a way to go catch up with our friend and to bring Sav back, after… her mom… well, you know?”
I lean up, pressing my lips to his. “I love you.”
“Right back at you.” He smiles his gorgeous smile that touches his eyes. “You’re one of the bravest women I’ve ever known.”
“You think?”
“You offered to go with her, right? To be with her while her mother was going through all this?”
“I did. I know I should have thought about how that would affect you and the kids. Of course, I always meant I would come back, but in that moment when I saw her fear, I just wanted to be there for her.”
“No, you misunderstand me. I am proud of you. You would have gone, for months probably, to help your friend. We would have still been here when you got back. We’re not going anywhere. Your offer of help shows the kind of person you are… you bend over backward to help those you love.”
I lean up, pressing my lips to his again, and that undeniable spark ignites through my soul. Even though I would have, without a doubt, gone to help Savanah, I sure as hellfire would have missed kissing Kevlar like this. Missed his arms around me. Missed everything there is about the kids. It would have been hell, but I would have done it if Sav needed me.
“I wanted to help her… but honestly, being away from you and the kids would have damn near killed me.”
His hand moves out, caressing my cheek. “You and me both, baby.”
My insides are turning to mush as I linger on his last word.
My conversation with Savanah replays in my mind, and I pull back, looking right into Kevlar’s gorgeous hazel eyes.
He narrows his on mine, obviously sensing something is up. “You okay?”
I sit up taller, steeling my shoulders. “I want to have an honest conversation with you. I don’t want anything to get weird, I just need us to talk this through as adults who are in a loving relationship.”
He sits up facing me with a frown on his face. “What’s this about?”
Gulping a lump down my throat, I grab his hands in mine. The thought of what I’m about to say brings a smile to my face, and I relax. “You know Sadie and Lucas mean everything… to both of us.”